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Funny, stupid shit that you've done or has happened to you.

category: offtopic [glöplog]
Good call on your dad's part I say Skyrunner. ;)
(no, not me, i'm married and would get murdered fast ;)

Yeah, yeah, yeah. ;P
added on the 2011-05-29 19:10:30 by ringofyre ringofyre
ah. uh. i remember some stuff, i think there was more.

i once cleaned up my room and found a bottle of antifreeze (for my car) on my desk. however, i found out that it was standing there for almost a year, so i decided it would find a good new home beside my bed. (don't ask). the following night i woke up, felt thirsty and just grabbed after the next bottle next to my bed. guess what i picked... (and yeah, i even cracked the childlock before i swallowed it) ended up in puking immediately. luckily. mysterious thing here is that this bottle was a 'gift' of my ex gf who promised to kill me after i broke up with her.

couple of years later i tried to insert my contact lenses... but i accidentally mixed up the cleaning solution and a hydrogen peroxide hardcore cleaner. ended up with a pretty damaged eye and not going to evoke. (but everything healed)

added on the 2011-05-29 20:03:10 by pro pro
pro: the first story is nice, you can never trust any ex girlfriends ;-)

i remember some years ago i was riding a bike when a friend of mine, who was in the opposite direction facing me, in a car passed by and i pulled the bike aside to greet him. unfortunately i didn't saw the car in front of me, which stopped because the driver wanted to buy some stuff from a local market nearby, and i smashed upon it destroying completely the front bike wheel and the right flashlight of the car... the driver pissed off but fortunately the insurance company covered the expenses and everything was solved in an minute. certainly though someone needs to be carefully when driving on the road and greeting friends in the same time...
added on the 2011-05-29 20:32:25 by Defiance Defiance
I had a nasty midnight bottle incident once, not that bad though :) I had a shelf above my bed many years back, and at one time there was a half-full bottle of vodka on it. Well, one night it fell off the shelf, all on its own, i have no idea how - it was a wide shelf, and it was well back near the wall. It hit me right on the head. Well, lets just say waking up by being hit on the head with a bottle is NOT a good way to wake up. My thinking was something like "what the FUCK was that?! Shit, somebody hit me with a bottle! SHIT, SOMEBODY BROKE INTO MY HOUSE AND IS ATTACKING ME WITH A BOTTLE!" Cue blind panic and much confusion when the room is empty apart from me and a bottle :D

added on the 2011-05-29 22:14:49 by psonice psonice
I farted.
added on the 2011-05-29 22:56:29 by trc_wm trc_wm
Just recently moved to a new appartment, and had to do all the usual furnishing, including hanging cabinets on walls etc. One particular cabinet caused me quite a headache. I had to drill two holes in the wall to securely fasten the cabinet, and the first went - drill, drill, drill, two-inch-of-nothing. It though to myself, Oh crap, there's nothing but drywall in front of the cavity between the wall in this room and the wall at the bathroom. Figured the few centimeters was good enough to fit a rawplug into and drilled the second. Same thing happened, and I managed to secure the cabinet just fine. Then - half an hour later, my wife calls from the toilet (on the other side of the wall that I placed the cabinet): "Do we have anything to hang on the wall out here?" I thought that was kind of strange until I saw, that I had drilled straight through the wall, leaving two huge holes in the wall where the shower is. Wtf?! How can someone build an appartment with only 5cm of drywall between a dining-room and a shower/toilet?!

Well - now there's a nice shelf to place our shampoo and stuff on :-S
added on the 2011-05-29 23:26:59 by Punqtured Punqtured

My Dad is a really nice person, so I wouldn`t call him that, but I thought of changing my scene handle to that name. :D

The bitter irony of the story: the whole thing cost me 550 Euros and the movie I downloaded was a piece of crap, I deleted it after watching a few minutes, even I could direct a better XXX movie, maybe even BITS would do a better job than these people did...and I think for 550 euros I could have had sexual intercourse with Vivian Schmidt herself, a friend of mine said...so true and a real dumb story it is...well at least I`m healed now from downloading torrents.

@pro: great story, you should be more careful with chemicals it seems... :D
added on the 2011-05-30 00:14:50 by Skyrunner Skyrunner
Nicely done Punq - I feel your pain, our old place was brick veneer and my stud-finder was next to useless. There was the time I found a live cutoff 3 phase power cable in the just sitting in the insulation in the ceiling...0_0
added on the 2011-05-30 01:40:05 by ringofyre ringofyre
buy washing machine online. receive washing machine. replace old washing machine. turn washing machine on. watch washing machine march 5 meters from installation place. turn machine off. put back in place. make sure everything is aligned and ground is flat. turn machine on. watch machine march 5 meters again. turn machine off. read instructions for the first time, discover there is something called "transportation bolts" that should be released before starting machine. release "transportation bolts" turn machine back on. everyone is happy :-)
The luckiest people on earth (funny video that felt related)
added on the 2011-05-30 08:03:29 by noname noname
lulz rasmus..
Here's a doozy. I went up to the bottle-shop to get some beers after work 1 night many years ago in my Ford Escort Ghia (auto - & that's important later). Completely straight, sane & sober. Come out of the bottle-o (where I know the guys quite well), jump in the car. Won't start.
Now to be fair this beauty did have some dicky electrics so within about half-an-hour I end up cleaning the battery terminals, checking the alternator, starter-motor & the plugs and points (steadily gathering a crowd of blokes all offering little bits of advice). Eventually Clayton (who worked @ the bottle-o but was a drinking buddy at the local pub) suggested that I might want to put the car in "park" or "neutral" rather than "drive" in future in order to start my car with automatic transmission...
Car in park, starts 1st time & off I go home rather sheepishly to enjoy my beers. The missus just about wet herself laughing.
added on the 2011-05-30 08:18:42 by ringofyre ringofyre
- being too hard on my ears
- not starting to take care of my body until I was in my twenties
- drinking a bottle of booze
- WoW
Lord Graga: how is that funny? sounds rather sad to me ;D

Skyrunner: i got betrayed by the lawyer for 370 Euros… (1 MP3 file)
@crosbow: Doh, I read "funny OR stupid" shit, not "funny (AND, implicitly) stupid" shit
There was one office moment where we zapped the whole circuit of the office with a broken bulb, I went out and flipped back all the breakers, and everything worked fine except one row of sockets. We shrugged, called out an electrician, who casually walked in the reception, revealing another box of breakers with some of the switches down.
added on the 2011-05-30 14:52:25 by Gargaj Gargaj
Oh and do demoparty-related experiences count? :)
added on the 2011-05-30 14:53:13 by Gargaj Gargaj
i dont see why not, being drunk and doing stupid stuff goes hand in hand. also, never ends badly, well almost.
i went spraying graffiti in my vicinity last summer mostly when i came back from parties, very drunk. nothing big ever happened, luckily, as i couldnt have run a mile without falling over my own feet, except that one time, where i did fall, but still got away :). long story short, last time i went to color the local trainstation beautiful, i got busted, being sober :(
that washing machine story happened to me too when i moved in, it was litterally dancing and jumping around spraying blue sparks when in tumbler mode.
worked on a uni project last night before the deadline, per ssh. the ssh server had a different version of the software installed then the comps in the lab, so it took me quite a while to figure it out. after all it was a never versio and i did a better job than anybody else. being too tired i called my partner who didnt do shit, to tell him where to find the project files and get it aproved without me so i could go to sleep. months later i went to the exam, thought everything went well, until the prof told me upon handing it in, that i didnt pass the exercise required for the course, just because i wasnt there when he looked over it. my mate passed.
added on the 2011-05-30 15:39:47 by vectory vectory
some of the hilarious ones are here, but there's one really specific one i'll wait for my then-cohort to address :D
added on the 2011-05-30 15:47:02 by Gargaj Gargaj
Went to see a mate Ian. He'd moved flats and gave me the address. I arrived buzzed the door and asked for him. Hes not in, but you can come up and wait said the voice. So I went up, sat down and started watching superbowl with the guys in the flat. I was there for like half an hour, drinking beer, chatting away, swapping juicy stories about Ian. Then Ian turned up only it was a completely different guy. I was so embarressed, I simply stood up and said "I dont know you, so I better be going, but er... thanks for the beers" and just left.

Course I had the number of the flat wrong.
added on the 2011-05-30 16:14:47 by auld auld
@auld: Haha :D
I bought an Atari LOLOLOLOLOLOL
added on the 2011-05-30 18:14:22 by ferris ferris
lulz @ auld - unless they were rude I'da stuck around, best scenario: 2 friends called Ian, worst: more free beer!
@ Graga - nice to see WoW as a bad life-choice :P
added on the 2011-05-30 21:48:45 by ringofyre ringofyre
about 20 years ago, i was jumping off a 2-3m high wall, landing knees first in a big pile of sand. it turned out it was a pile of rocks instead, being covered with just a bit of sand.

then, being myself at times when i obviously wasn't supposed to, seemed to be an awfully stupid thing that most of the people out there can probably relate to as well. :)
added on the 2011-05-30 22:48:41 by dalezy dalezy
One Christmas, I went to a friends house where we consumed a bottle of White Horse, cycled home and as I was pulling my jumper over my head, vomited violently, then fell asleep.

Woke up in a bag of sick...
added on the 2011-05-31 10:07:22 by FunGas FunGas
I bought an Atari LOLOLOLOLOLOL

In 1986, at the age of 13, I had finally saved 250 DM (125 EUR) from my pocket money to buy a ZX Spectrum (my had ZX 81 died due my my soldering skills). So my father took my to the captial city and we went to the department store where you could buy home computers. But the ZX Spectrum was sold out -aaaaaargh! So I turned around and said: "Dad, I'll not leave without a computer. I'll take, hmmm, well, this one over there." Not knowing what it was.

It was an Atari 800 XL, and I'm addicted ever since ;-)
added on the 2011-05-31 12:10:32 by JAC! JAC!


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