pouët.net

Ah. Maybe I should have read more than I initially did. You want specifics, details, the small parts of life that give (me for example) joy?

A gentle breeze blowing against an infant-sized plastic toycar , making it ride along just by itself in an empty park.
A jamsession where all the musicians are clearly enjoying themselves.
Finding a picture of a beautiful, hotel in the mountains of china, while I have a long journey in the train ahead of me, confined in a small room for several hours.

Walking though my city with headphones on, enjoying the silliness of people spending their money on bigscreen tvs, of course while listening to a deceive bought in the same store a few months back.
Walking through that same city without headphones an observing all the social dynamics and interactions between (groups of) people.

Watching people do the same and smiling about the way they express their anger, disbelief or just happiness from observing the world around them. Like a large crowd who suddenly breaks out in dancing, or the looks eccentric people get out on the streets.

How I will handle it when it all goes downhill?

We, the civilization as a whole are already going down anyway, so enjoy the ride without the smallest taste of bitterness, lest it be for correctly time irony or absurdity.

Hi Sceners hi paniq,

this is the first time i am responding to a pouet threat. But reading this article by paniq
i just have to write something thats on my mind.

I find it interesting. Ok i know paniq from some party talk on tum and i asked him for some
little help in buzzmachine and some linux help on demomaking over icq. thank you for that !

Ok heres what i think about this all:

Look at superstars like robbie williams, amy winehouse, jim morrison, elvis, and so on and so on.
Hey, these guys are absoulutely famous ! they got money. much money but huge problems.

As said leonhard, i dont know you. but i can say youre in the scene some kind of superstar.
(like many other genius that are in the scene)
Dont misinterpret this as some kind of bootlicking. we are still "quasi competitors" in the demoscene ;)
BUT ! and this is what i absolutely LOVE about our scene and this threat:

there are so many people of the scene reading this knowing you and some not knowing you but responding in an absolut positive way about this and trying to help.

Do you think Robbie Williams could write this somewhere on the net and get positive response ? i dont think so.
sorry for comparing with robbie ;) but i think there are absolute parallels. if this guy wouldnt make
music but being a scener maybe he wouldnt ended up in a clinic with heavy medical treatment.
maybe robbie should join the scene ? lol

ok to get to the point:

sometimes i also have huge pressure on releases for the scene. or i have to do some work for my clients.
and the interesting thing about that is: the pressure doesnt come in that amout of the clients,scene etc.
than from me. i am the one who demands the "PERFECT" release or the "PERFECT" graphic for some customers.
sometimes i feel guilty of not being creative the way i want me to be.

in 99 percent of all cases the people would have been satisfied with 50 percent of my efford. they would
really be happy with it.
but i cant. it is the little man inside my head that says "hey cosmic, you can do better, noooo this isnt
good enough - be better - be more crazy - be more kreative"

hmm- have you ever seen "some kind of monster" it is a documentation about metallica.

METALLICA goddamit - THE super hyper macho metal band of all fckn times.

and if you watch these guys in the beginning of the movie they discuss about the whole documentary thing.
that this would show the people another side of them.

a weaker one !

and they talk about if it would change the image about them and the band for the public.

they shot the docu and really personally things happended. hetfield went to rehab, huge fights within the band etc. etc.
BUT ! the fear of loosing that image for their fans the opposite was the outcome.
they got stronger.

what i wanna say with this is: in some way the demoscene consists of superstars. ask a gamer lamer or a "normal" person about farbrausch,asd etc. etc. (if theres a chance that they know us) they would entitle
those as half-gods.

but they are fucking not ! (not only ;) they are also human - with human thoughts and problems.
and remarkable intelligent people have major problems than the "normal humanbeing" i think.
its more than the normal everyday life, thinking about a job, thinking about the next fuck or how to
get the bills payed.

i think sceners want more. we have chosen this way for some reason. i dont know if its curiosity or
being different or the search for a "higher thingy". i dont really know.
but we love it. with all the ups and downs that you go through, that every artist in the world
goes through with going the "creative way"

hey paniq think about it ! use it !
if you would be the alltime happy guy what demos or tracks would you produce ?!
happy happy cheesy boring stuff !
sometimes you need to be down to transfer that to your work. and THEN it is THE track or THE poem etc. that
touches the viewers feelings ! and then its good.

look at the "normal" people.

they hate their jobs, live in relationships they dont like buy stuff they dont need. (tyler durden)
i think we the scene has some kind of responsibility to them. to show them that it is possible
to get paid for arts, instead of having a "normal" job.to take their fears, to show them that it is nearly impossible to die poor and lonesome.

they ! and YOU can throw you to the ground but we dont stay there.
we get up again stronger than before.

and NOW ! get up neo ;)

stay tuned. greetings cosmic/ollie

that is one scary gremlin of a comment. zealot, please confine yourself. surely what you wrote is flattering, but it misses the point. thank you anyway. :/

robbie williams, was that really necessary? grmbl.

i like that one.

nothing

mood: bored

I especially like the "leonhard(!) superstar" thing. ;)

Found this thread by accident...



The answer is simple: The people around me.
JSYK.

When I was a little child, I was fascinated by the adults, that seemed to understand this incredibly complicated world with all its absurd rules and strange rituals that all where true miracles for me.
So, I was eager to grow up fast, learn all the rules and the meaning of the rituals. I believed this world of miracles would unfold into a universe of endless opportunities as soon as I understood it.
Now that I've grown up, I have to face the fact that I'm even more confused and that nothing has unfold.
For others I may have some clue at least about my own world, but the truth is that the more I learn the more confused I get... every day...

I wanted to be like grownups. When I matured, I came to realize that most adults are impostors. :)

hah :-)
true that. i am, at least.

When I was a child, I felt like an adult. Now that I am an adult, I feel like a child.

We live in a totally neurotic society where people - instead of living their true natures - spend their lifetime with redirection activities.

Instead of true freedom (inner and outer freedom) people smoke cigarettes because advertsement suggests beautiful pictures of a fictional "Marlboro Country" - or they want expensive cars or the big carreer.

Like the famous FIGHT CLUB quote: "Generations have been working in jobs they hate, just so they can buy what they don't really need.
~Chuck Palahniuk, Fight Club, Chapter 19

Everyone has his addictions, be it drugs, food, sex, tv, computers, internet... and so on.

We are drifting more and more away from what it means to be human.
We are all compensating and repressing; lying to ourselves so we can move on in this big nuthouse called society.

Does this sound cynical? I don't want to sound that way, but it is simply the truth.

As long as it all works (the job, the relationship, the expensive car) everything is fine and we think life is good, but when it doesn't work anymore most of us try to find the guilty person somewhere else...
but WE are the persons in control of our lives.

And in the end... below the line - everything is quite simple: Our human existence is about procreation, it's all about sex and death (none of these without the other)

Men don't want careers and money and cars and all that stuff because of itself - but simply because we all want to fuck and procreate.
EVERYTHING we do orbits around this one and only important thing!

Life is so simple but we tend to make it damn complicated...

me!

paniq:


Yeah, the planet is kinda full of these negative people. I think it's because they went to school and also they don't fuck enough.

I actually think you are a larger-than-life person. You have a lot of potential.

So do I, so we're in a similar boat in a way; we both have to fight the legions of idiots around us who try to bring us down.

Luckily, they don't succeed. I can watch my strength grow day by day, and nobody is ever able to stop that.



Uhm... why do that? Rough-treating yourself? What's the point? Why not just stop that? Screw rough treatment. Loving treatment is the way.

You only encouter these negative naysayers when you have these topics inside you. In a way you avoid your success by letting these people come into your life and listening to them.

I know what I am talking about. This is also the explanation why not everyone with great (artistic) potential uses it. Damn - it even is the opposite: Often the less gifted people are the ones who are on the big stage and get all the applause, the money and the women.

These psychological patterns can be found in so many persons; and in a neurotic, consume and success oriented society like ours it is a quite common problem.

When we sit alone in the dark basement and create great art, but in the end destroy it before it sees the daylight, we are the ones who don't allow ourselves to have success. We hide because we have the feeling of being small and insignificant. This mostly coms from a shitty childhood and a lifetime of loveless education.

I may run and hide
When you're screamn' my name, alright
But let me tell you now
There are prices to fame, alright
All of our time spent in flashes of light

Chorus
All you people can't you see, can't you see
How your love's affecting our reality
Every time we're down
You can make it right
And that makes you larger than life

Looking at the crowd
And I see your body sway, c'mon
Wishn' I could thank you in a different way, c'mon
'Cause all of your time spent keeps us alive

All you people can't you see, can't you see
How your love's affecting our reality
Every time we're down
You can make it right
And that makes you larger than life

All of your time spent keeps us alive

All you people can't you see, can't you see
How your love's affecting our reality
Every time we're down
You can make it right
And that makes you larger than life

Yeah, every time we're down
Yeah, you can make it right
Yeah, and that's what makes you larger than life

All you people can't you see, can't you see
How your love's affecting our reality
Every time we're down
You can make it right
And that makes you larger than life

\o/

emu:


Oh, don't worry, that is going to change.

REMOVE LADY GAGA!

paniq: please listen to _your_ marvelous song "I Lie Awake/Der Sturtz". It's all there. you did it years ago and must have forgotten about it. Memenot-stylee.

/thread

What? Nah. You encounter them because they happen to be there. Don't shift the blame away from them.


Listening to naysayers is of course not such a terribly good idea... :]

we've grown up? we matured? ORLY? ;-)))

I missed this thread.
I might read it one day and respond greatly.
Now I have work to do.

I think the power of the revolving ZEN is teh thing for me now.