I quit the scene.
category: general [glöplog]
It seems that I follow the same cycle again.
For a long period, I forgot the past by stfu myself deliberately. The criticism was so hard after a lot of stupid things I had been doing here since years, that I couldn't take it anymore and prefered to keep more silent here. I was posting two-three bullshits at times but not anymore in the mega extend of the past. Though, I felt like oppresing myself to not look like a troll because I am identified as this anymore and it's hard to remove that image from my mind. In fact I had removed it for a long time and was feeling ok, with a more mild attitude and some rare releases of mediocre demos (less talk, more demos). I was more quiet except from the times when I am drinking (which are hopefully rare because the social events I attend are rare too ironically). It's logical to let loose what is oppressed inside me when I am not sober and it's also logical that people criticize me.
But sad for me. I had a long time to get the feeling of my past in Pouet. After my stupid drunken post, someone said somewhere that "trolls remain trolls" about me and that saddened me. Maybe it's true. There are periods when I just write bullshit at Pouet and the bit nicer moments when I finally release a demo (and that still by oppressing my creativite and not producing a very sattisfying result). Notice how quiet I was for few days after the release of led blur. And then chaos again! Now, someone thumbs it down by saying that I remain troll. And he has a point. Not that I care about the thumb down because there are too many possitive comments to be disturbed, but what he wrote in his comment saddened me by implying who I was and maybe that I still am.
Other than that, the scene seems to always be a vicious cycle for me even if it still gives me something (more sattisfying than rotting on my PC playing games). I can't always work for the scene but oneself asks for that. Mixed feelings, real life and inner problems that doesn't let me be succesfull in it or even enjoy what I do. Tomorrow I get my university diploma (I finally did it!) and on 8 August the army calls me. It's closed.
Maybe the army helps me to physically quit the scene, but I felt the urge to mention my disapointment. I was planning to write few articles for two diskmags and maybe finish some democode for two little projects those last two weeks (Damn! Why did I want to work so hard in such a sort period?) but I feel too tired after my last demo and somehow like repeating the cycle. Release, pouet, plans for new release, new deadline, incoming parties, new pouet, release (and all of these mediocre), pouet, trolling, sadness, next demoplans. The scene as a routine. I don't know what I want from the scene really..
I know this is ridiculous.
For a long period, I forgot the past by stfu myself deliberately. The criticism was so hard after a lot of stupid things I had been doing here since years, that I couldn't take it anymore and prefered to keep more silent here. I was posting two-three bullshits at times but not anymore in the mega extend of the past. Though, I felt like oppresing myself to not look like a troll because I am identified as this anymore and it's hard to remove that image from my mind. In fact I had removed it for a long time and was feeling ok, with a more mild attitude and some rare releases of mediocre demos (less talk, more demos). I was more quiet except from the times when I am drinking (which are hopefully rare because the social events I attend are rare too ironically). It's logical to let loose what is oppressed inside me when I am not sober and it's also logical that people criticize me.
But sad for me. I had a long time to get the feeling of my past in Pouet. After my stupid drunken post, someone said somewhere that "trolls remain trolls" about me and that saddened me. Maybe it's true. There are periods when I just write bullshit at Pouet and the bit nicer moments when I finally release a demo (and that still by oppressing my creativite and not producing a very sattisfying result). Notice how quiet I was for few days after the release of led blur. And then chaos again! Now, someone thumbs it down by saying that I remain troll. And he has a point. Not that I care about the thumb down because there are too many possitive comments to be disturbed, but what he wrote in his comment saddened me by implying who I was and maybe that I still am.
Other than that, the scene seems to always be a vicious cycle for me even if it still gives me something (more sattisfying than rotting on my PC playing games). I can't always work for the scene but oneself asks for that. Mixed feelings, real life and inner problems that doesn't let me be succesfull in it or even enjoy what I do. Tomorrow I get my university diploma (I finally did it!) and on 8 August the army calls me. It's closed.
Maybe the army helps me to physically quit the scene, but I felt the urge to mention my disapointment. I was planning to write few articles for two diskmags and maybe finish some democode for two little projects those last two weeks (Damn! Why did I want to work so hard in such a sort period?) but I feel too tired after my last demo and somehow like repeating the cycle. Release, pouet, plans for new release, new deadline, incoming parties, new pouet, release (and all of these mediocre), pouet, trolling, sadness, next demoplans. The scene as a routine. I don't know what I want from the scene really..
I know this is ridiculous.
Hey, don't give up!
If you enjoy doing what you do, keep doing it. The scene (and pouet) is good because you've got nothing to lose. Nobody can fire you, nobody can cut your funding, nobody can prevent you from uploading, and (for the most part) nobody will prevent you from going to parties. You've got nothing to lose, no matter who gives you shit.
If you enjoy doing what you do, keep doing it. The scene (and pouet) is good because you've got nothing to lose. Nobody can fire you, nobody can cut your funding, nobody can prevent you from uploading, and (for the most part) nobody will prevent you from going to parties. You've got nothing to lose, no matter who gives you shit.
Just go grab a beer and meet a few friends. Being sceners doesn't mean you have to be hyperactive either in demomaking or, for some, in pouet glophunting or attention-whoring.
It's about being and staying into the groove...
(start your fav oldschool Madonna's tune right here)
Also, remember that the BBS is not a blog.
It's about being and staying into the groove...
(start your fav oldschool Madonna's tune right here)
Also, remember that the BBS is not a blog.
Quote:
Release, pouet, plans for new release, new deadline, incoming parties, new pouet, release (and all of these mediocre), pouet, trolling, sadness, next demoplans. The scene as a routine.
no, that's your self-inflicted routine, you stupid git. drop the three pouets and the idiotic trolling and the rest takes care of itself.
oh, by all means, do not take this as an "oh pretty please don't quit the scene!"-comment. trust me, it is not.
lol.
Well, *I* thought you'd changed. You went away back whenever it was, and then started producing the demos you'd been promising to make, and they turned out to be pretty cool. If you were just a troll, you wouldn't have actually gone and put your code where your mouth was.
All things considered, I prefer inspired and well-thought-out ideas to "Oh, well we did it in three hours at a party". Take your time...
And congrats on your new degree!
All things considered, I prefer inspired and well-thought-out ideas to "Oh, well we did it in three hours at a party". Take your time...
And congrats on your new degree!
Well, for me a troll is someone that tries to pick stupid fights with strangers. I don't see that Optimus does that. There are no high standards in the BBS, it's 95% bullshit. But I'm not complaining.
trolls are c00l... and now stop crying, drink some beers and make a prod from time to time...
Optimus. I think you should not make any kind of decisions when you're down. Just let it pass and think it over when you're back on top again. Things are clearer then.
It's like saying "I WILL NEVER DRINK AGAIN" the morning after a night with too much beer (or maybe ouzo in your case ;))
It's like saying "I WILL NEVER DRINK AGAIN" the morning after a night with too much beer (or maybe ouzo in your case ;))
yeah, scene is too much routine, i agree. especially if you stop getting productive and the only thing you do is some organizing and reading pouet. thats why i'm more and more losing interest. but i'd never quit cause i'm connected with so many scene people.
Dear Optimus, /me made maybe overcritical remarks, but thats a part of pouet.
Dont take critics too serious, there will always someone who dislikes what you do, concentrate on the many people who like your work.
Dont take critics too serious, there will always someone who dislikes what you do, concentrate on the many people who like your work.
okay I join you. let us quit the scene togather in sadness and tears!
Optimus my brother!! I'm gonna write a serious and "out of character" comment here.
I think you're a good, genuine guy with a lot of mental battles. You just need to find your place and ambitions in the world.
I'm not going to say don't quit. I'm going to say, do what you need to do and come back if and when you are ready! Some people have short bursts of motivation and disappear and return forever. Others find a great life without the scene and don't need it at all. Then some people like myself get on with life and keep taking a peek, keep dropping the occasional post or comment or jokes and watching any promising looking demos. Maybe one day I'll even make a new demo!
Wade on the other hand went to the extreme of insulting the scene before quitting. He told me he needed to do that. He needed to get out and by insulting the scene and sceners and cutting his ties he would not be welcome back.
As for myself, I am touring Canada at the moment (though the character of Shanethewolf will always be in Blackpool battling gypsies and gluesniffers etc) and can't play an active role in the scene now and nobody is putting on any pressure to do this or that or meet deadlines. But that doesn't stop me coming here and doing any scene stuff when I CAN or when I WANT to.
Maybe you do need to go to the same extreme as Wade to cure your addiction. Or maybe you can find a balance where you can enjoy the scene and the friendships but feel no pressure from it.
Anyway, enough from me. CONGRATULATIONS on your diploma and best of luck in the army!!!
Your friend,
Shane
I think you're a good, genuine guy with a lot of mental battles. You just need to find your place and ambitions in the world.
I'm not going to say don't quit. I'm going to say, do what you need to do and come back if and when you are ready! Some people have short bursts of motivation and disappear and return forever. Others find a great life without the scene and don't need it at all. Then some people like myself get on with life and keep taking a peek, keep dropping the occasional post or comment or jokes and watching any promising looking demos. Maybe one day I'll even make a new demo!
Wade on the other hand went to the extreme of insulting the scene before quitting. He told me he needed to do that. He needed to get out and by insulting the scene and sceners and cutting his ties he would not be welcome back.
As for myself, I am touring Canada at the moment (though the character of Shanethewolf will always be in Blackpool battling gypsies and gluesniffers etc) and can't play an active role in the scene now and nobody is putting on any pressure to do this or that or meet deadlines. But that doesn't stop me coming here and doing any scene stuff when I CAN or when I WANT to.
Maybe you do need to go to the same extreme as Wade to cure your addiction. Or maybe you can find a balance where you can enjoy the scene and the friendships but feel no pressure from it.
Anyway, enough from me. CONGRATULATIONS on your diploma and best of luck in the army!!!
Your friend,
Shane
wait.. you'll quit _again_?*
*) please sense irony! let's see optimus back in 2 weeks after serious attention-withdrawal and an ouzo-overdose!
*) please sense irony! let's see optimus back in 2 weeks after serious attention-withdrawal and an ouzo-overdose!
I'm no hardcore pouet dude but i've noticed that you were involved in alot of discussions here.
But for fucks sake. Even if you are a troll you damn well seem like a nice guy and you're actually doing some demo stuff.
Now compare yourself with a certified level 1 troll like lator/stefan or shane and stop complaining! :)
But for fucks sake. Even if you are a troll you damn well seem like a nice guy and you're actually doing some demo stuff.
Now compare yourself with a certified level 1 troll like lator/stefan or shane and stop complaining! :)
OH forgot to add maali to that list. nevertheless. Now go produce some nice shit before you leave.
It's impossible to really quit the scene, so no worry - I'm sure Optimus will remain with us! :-)
I'm going to quote Kusma quoting PS quoting me:
scene != pouet && pouet != scene
scene != pouet && pouet != scene
Quote:
Maybe the army helps me to physically quit the scene...
While I'm not much of a military person, being in the army might be a nice eye-opener for you. And when you get out, I bet you'll return to the scene with renewed sense of enthusiasm.
you're so damn 2000. back in the golden days, cool people left the scene by stating that it's dead.
Quote:
I'm going to quote Kusma quoting PS quoting me:
scene != pouet && pouet != scene
truck, when are you gonna learn that ps likes his nick written in lowercase?
anyway... in soviet russia you don't quit the scene, the scene quits you.
Optimus: forget what people said. Even tho we are sometimes annoyed by ridiculously long posts, we have no problems with you. At least, I'm quite sure this is what most people's opinion is.
And about that "trolls remain trolls" comment for led blur: first check the other comments, then say anything. :P You're top of the month, dude!
Good luck for the army tho. And see you around here.
And about that "trolls remain trolls" comment for led blur: first check the other comments, then say anything. :P You're top of the month, dude!
Good luck for the army tho. And see you around here.
skene lähtee lapsesta hakkaamalla.
