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Those rude americans!

category: general [glöplog]
 
Quote:
It has been brought to our attention by several officials visiting our
corporate Headquarters that offensive language is commonly used by our
Portuguese-speaking staff. Such behavior, in addition to violating our
Policy, is highly unprofessional and offensive to both visitors and
colleagues. In order to avoid such situations please note that all Staff
is kindly requested to IMMEDIATELY adhere to the following
rules:

1) Words like merda, caralho, foda-se, porra or puta-que-o-pariu and
other such expressions will not be used for emphasis, no matter how
heated the discussion.
2) You will not say cagada when someone makes a mistake, or ganda-merda
if you see somebody either being reprimanded or making a mistake, or
que-grande-cagada when a major mistake has been made. All forms derivate
from the verb cagar are inappropriate in our environment.
3) No project manager, section head, or executive, under no
circumstances, will be referred to as filho-da-puta,
cabrão,ó-grande-come-merda, or vaca-gorda-da-puta-que-o-pariu.
4) Lack of determination will not be referred to as falta-de-colhões or
coisa-de-maricas and neither will persons who lack initiative as
picha-mole, corno, or mariconso.
5) Unusual or creative ideas from your superiors are not to be referred
to as punheta-mental.
6) Do not say esse-cabrão-enche-a-porra-do-juízo if a person is
persistent.
When a task is heavy to achieve remember that you must not say é uma
foda.In a similar way, do not use esse-gajo-está-fodido if your
colleague is going through a difficult situation. Furthermore, you must
not say que-putedo when matters become complicated.
7) When asking someone to leave you alone, you must not say vai-à-merda.
nor vai-te mas é foder.
Do not ever substitute "May I help you" with que-porra-é-que-tu-queres
or que caralho queres tu agora?
When things get tough, an acceptable statement such as "we are going
through a difficult time" should be used rather than
isto-está-tudo-fodido.
8) No salary increase shall ever be referred to as aumento-dum-cabrão.
9) Last but not least after reading this memo please do not say
mete-o-no-cu. Just keep it clean and dispose of it properly. We hope you
will keep these directions in mind.

Thank you.
added on the 2007-12-22 02:22:39 by xernobyl xernobyl
Could we please add that to the Pouet disclaimer?
added on the 2007-12-22 02:24:36 by doomdoom doomdoom
pissfitta

tack
added on the 2007-12-22 02:27:22 by El Topo El Topo
nice one =)
added on the 2007-12-22 03:28:37 by [ProToS] [ProToS]
No, this gotta be a joke, right? I don't speak .pt but in aumento-dum-cabrão at least aumento seems to be the proper word.
added on the 2007-12-22 03:47:09 by nitro2k01 nitro2k01
aumento-dum-cabrão = raise-of-a-mother-fucker

So aumento is what you can call a proper word.
added on the 2007-12-22 04:39:14 by xernobyl xernobyl
Yeah, aumento seems like a normal latin root for raise. "dum-cabrão"=="mother-fucker" was something I didn't know or could guess.
added on the 2007-12-22 04:55:33 by nitro2k01 nitro2k01
what about the one for "go blow a horse" (taught in the random image thread ;))
added on the 2007-12-22 07:50:47 by dnes dnes
lol
added on the 2007-12-22 09:18:24 by texel texel
And.. and... they took my red Swingline stapler.
added on the 2007-12-22 09:26:18 by Preacher Preacher
preacher :D
added on the 2007-12-22 09:42:18 by texel texel
i love american corporations and their overtly strict workplace regulations :-)
added on the 2007-12-22 09:49:11 by uncle-x uncle-x
I so dream of working in my own cubicle!
added on the 2007-12-22 10:04:15 by mg mg
So, don't ask for a "motherfucking raise"? You know I don't think my bosses would appreciate that either. ;)
added on the 2007-12-22 19:36:38 by doomdoom doomdoom
i could just burn the whole building down.
added on the 2007-12-22 19:41:26 by Gargaj Gargaj
kids with knifes == terrorist
added on the 2007-12-22 19:42:40 by psenough psenough
Americans don't typically speak Portugeese.
and portuguese definitly dont speak american.
added on the 2007-12-24 20:02:25 by psenough psenough
Quote:

Americans don't typically speak Portugeese.


Some pan-americans do.
added on the 2007-12-24 20:17:25 by sparcus sparcus
yeah but they talk funny.
added on the 2007-12-25 17:22:02 by skrebbel skrebbel
cats ar not speekin at al LOL!!
added on the 2007-12-25 18:40:10 by forestcre forestcre
OLD. (spammed my email, italian version, 2 years ago)
added on the 2007-12-25 19:19:30 by dixan dixan
Oh. That solves the puzzle.
added on the 2007-12-25 20:05:18 by xernobyl xernobyl
Can you post the italian version? :)
added on the 2007-12-25 20:05:37 by xernobyl xernobyl

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