Demoscene and motivation
category: general [glöplog]
Man, now, I am waiting for Etherea2 !
You got my curiosity already, now you have my attention.
I also want to here the truth. You speak from the bottom of your hearth - it is valuable.
You got my curiosity already, now you have my attention.
I also want to here the truth. You speak from the bottom of your hearth - it is valuable.
Probably not me yet, as I am too limited. But someone from the caliber of Smash, or Inigo Quilez. But I am sure it will be a programmer who will find it.
Yep. They probably already know, just writing things down takes time. As Ray Kurzweil puts it: currently the biggest bottleneck for the brain is input/output = reading/writting/communication in general. We are getting there though!
Etherea2 will hopefully excite their, yours and others geniuses, though.
But I have no doubts a programmer will eventually revolutionize the humanity, the explanations to the universe, and God.
First shown at pouet.net =)
I think you may underestimate yourself. Maybe they (we?) just make good impression of being smart, i.e. by faking it with fancy art/gfx/music. Look, your 4k is not worst then IQ's Elevated, although well, he might have been earlier with it. Just food for thoughts. Smash also has a great support from his artistic department. Imagine his particles without great music and polished postprocessing.
Guy must have like, 4 semi-legal aliases and 8 Mensa memberships.
Programmer lives matter!
And that is why, gentlemen, this old screwed up guy will never drink alcohol again. And IF he does, will never ever touch a keyboard and/or connect to the internet while under that evil influence.
This is not just "if you drink, don't drive". This is also "if you drink, DON'T POST ON THE INTERNET".
Finally, all the arts are equally important, so the above is all invalid, anyway.
This is not just "if you drink, don't drive". This is also "if you drink, DON'T POST ON THE INTERNET".
Finally, all the arts are equally important, so the above is all invalid, anyway.
Well, this could have been an interesting thread.
@preacher: really sad to hear that. Maybe we could collaborate on something. That's what keeps me going lately.
@preacher: really sad to hear that. Maybe we could collaborate on something. That's what keeps me going lately.
Collaboration with several people and some kind of deadline was the latest motivator for me, too...
Lol. It was just programmers' locker room talk. They tend to say nasty things, but they don't really mean it!
Also, @imerso the funniest part to me was paranoia that everyone is bashing you...are you sure it was just an alcohol?^^
Also, @imerso the funniest part to me was paranoia that everyone is bashing you...are you sure it was just an alcohol?^^
I honestly don't know what motivates me. Sometimes I just get that itch and have to write code. Writing effects is usually not the problem, I can find some motivation for that (unless I get into one of those "what the fuck is an effect anyway?" kind of moods)... It's tying everything in together that becomes the problem.
Getting the right graphics. Getting the right music. And I hate telling someone that put time/effort into something they contributed towards the demo that I don't feel it fits in. I hate criticising people that put effort into something when I feel like it doesn't fit, even if I think the gfx itself looks fantastic.
And then sometimes, nothing seems good enough. I could have fought against deadlines, but I didn't want to for my most recent demo. It has to be relatively perfect, and I feel like *that* is becoming an issue too. It seems like my personal standards have increased.
Also infinite praise and interest from others really helps motivating but I'm probably just an attentionwhore.
I'm not really sure if anything I said makes sense but here it is.
Getting the right graphics. Getting the right music. And I hate telling someone that put time/effort into something they contributed towards the demo that I don't feel it fits in. I hate criticising people that put effort into something when I feel like it doesn't fit, even if I think the gfx itself looks fantastic.
And then sometimes, nothing seems good enough. I could have fought against deadlines, but I didn't want to for my most recent demo. It has to be relatively perfect, and I feel like *that* is becoming an issue too. It seems like my personal standards have increased.
Also infinite praise and interest from others really helps motivating but I'm probably just an attentionwhore.
I'm not really sure if anything I said makes sense but here it is.
What keeps motivating me:
- Reading write-ups from other people, like Ferris' everyweeks blog, Spaceballs' technical effect explanations or Gargaj's thought process on creating a new engine. Those inspire me, give me ideas and infect me with their enthusiasm, even if it's about other platforms or disciplines. I guess it's a similar, albeit weaker mechanism as being in a group or visiting parties, but still works wonders for me.
- The feeling that something is missing and hasn't been done yet. (no tracker for the VCS -> TIATracker; lack of transitions/flow in oldschool/VCS demos -> TIM1T etc.)
- (Being forced to) learn new stuff. not necessarily technical only.
- Guilt. I love consuming demos, but would feel bad if I wouldn't give something back.
What demotivates me:
- Not being able to work on a project for a longer, continous period of time. With job, family and other commitments, I often have to pause demoscene activities for weeks. Carrying over my enthusiasm for my current project is hard. And when I have time to code, it's often spontaneously and for only 2-3 hours. That needs a lot of discipline, which is hard to maintain.
- Not being in a group. But due to my first reason, I can't really interactively collaborate with people in "real-time" on a regular or planned basis, which I think would frustrate any potential group mates and diminish my usefulness inside a group. (I've been in a group 25 years ago and know what I'm missing out on...)
- Not (yet) being able to do what I really want to do, i.e. creating high-end demos. But again, in light of my first reason I feel that right now this would need too much time for learning (even if that would be fun!) and I'd need to work more closely together with more people (which again would be great, but...).
- Reading write-ups from other people, like Ferris' everyweeks blog, Spaceballs' technical effect explanations or Gargaj's thought process on creating a new engine. Those inspire me, give me ideas and infect me with their enthusiasm, even if it's about other platforms or disciplines. I guess it's a similar, albeit weaker mechanism as being in a group or visiting parties, but still works wonders for me.
- The feeling that something is missing and hasn't been done yet. (no tracker for the VCS -> TIATracker; lack of transitions/flow in oldschool/VCS demos -> TIM1T etc.)
- (Being forced to) learn new stuff. not necessarily technical only.
- Guilt. I love consuming demos, but would feel bad if I wouldn't give something back.
What demotivates me:
- Not being able to work on a project for a longer, continous period of time. With job, family and other commitments, I often have to pause demoscene activities for weeks. Carrying over my enthusiasm for my current project is hard. And when I have time to code, it's often spontaneously and for only 2-3 hours. That needs a lot of discipline, which is hard to maintain.
- Not being in a group. But due to my first reason, I can't really interactively collaborate with people in "real-time" on a regular or planned basis, which I think would frustrate any potential group mates and diminish my usefulness inside a group. (I've been in a group 25 years ago and know what I'm missing out on...)
- Not (yet) being able to do what I really want to do, i.e. creating high-end demos. But again, in light of my first reason I feel that right now this would need too much time for learning (even if that would be fun!) and I'd need to work more closely together with more people (which again would be great, but...).
Collaboration.
When someone wants to work with me on something, that's usually all the motivation I need to work on demoscene things.
When it comes to my own music, it's more about the work. A practical deadline, and off I go. Dull answer perhaps, but there it is.
When someone wants to work with me on something, that's usually all the motivation I need to work on demoscene things.
When it comes to my own music, it's more about the work. A practical deadline, and off I go. Dull answer perhaps, but there it is.
Kylearan: the first demotivator doesn't interfere as much with group membership when everybody in the group has the same problem. Ask me how I know. ;)
Collaboration and others demo productions, also people and parties.
My motivation comes from needing to prove motherfuckers wrong.
For me motivational factors differ during the development.
In early stages its mostly: trying to make the impossible.
In the hot phase (last months before a release party) teamwork is the driving factor. Seeing others contributing to the actual buid, seeing the baby grow, regular chats with the team discussing improvements and funny ideas.
And ofcourse a big factor is the memory of competitions in the past. Watching my prods on the big screen still feels like 1992: Demo starts, silence in the hall, heartbeat goes up to 180, first cool screen, the crowd goes crazy, ...
I just get goosebumps.
See you at X!
In early stages its mostly: trying to make the impossible.
In the hot phase (last months before a release party) teamwork is the driving factor. Seeing others contributing to the actual buid, seeing the baby grow, regular chats with the team discussing improvements and funny ideas.
And ofcourse a big factor is the memory of competitions in the past. Watching my prods on the big screen still feels like 1992: Demo starts, silence in the hall, heartbeat goes up to 180, first cool screen, the crowd goes crazy, ...
I just get goosebumps.
See you at X!
Quote:
Watching my prods on the big screen still feels like 1992: Demo starts, silence in the hall, heartbeat goes up to 180, first cool screen, the crowd goes crazy, ...
I just get goosebumps.
Quoted For Truth! I also still get these, still, after 26 years.
I'm not super motivated; I'm way too eclectic and ADHD for that. Currently I'm mostly into electronics, the next week it may be hardware synthesizers and music production or drawing comics - who knows?
What ultimately brings me back to the scene time and time again though is nostalgia combined with the fact that this is such a crazy, silly and underground art movement that I just can't help but feel attracted to. It's like cyberpunk took a wrong turn down some back alley and remained there, and - get this - nobody knows, who is not a part of it. It's become a secret society in broad daylight.
Also I want to entertain. I have a desire for attention and recognition, for doing something novel that people remember. At least that's what I set out to do; don't really know about the end results so far...
I also have this demo group that I kinda started 12 years ago, that I feel responsible for, and whose members have given me so much during the years. I don't want to disappoint them by going inactive, and though I never said I was the leader of the group that's what they expect me to be, and the best way to lead is by example.
So all that, and then of course going to parties and meeting all my friends and making new ones. Love you guys.
What ultimately brings me back to the scene time and time again though is nostalgia combined with the fact that this is such a crazy, silly and underground art movement that I just can't help but feel attracted to. It's like cyberpunk took a wrong turn down some back alley and remained there, and - get this - nobody knows, who is not a part of it. It's become a secret society in broad daylight.
Also I want to entertain. I have a desire for attention and recognition, for doing something novel that people remember. At least that's what I set out to do; don't really know about the end results so far...
I also have this demo group that I kinda started 12 years ago, that I feel responsible for, and whose members have given me so much during the years. I don't want to disappoint them by going inactive, and though I never said I was the leader of the group that's what they expect me to be, and the best way to lead is by example.
So all that, and then of course going to parties and meeting all my friends and making new ones. Love you guys.
Great to find this thread, since I happened to recently think things different about what motivates me and how it degraded by time and what I could try to change and be more productive with less dissatisfaction. I am trying to change my mental habits in how I approach my work and the meaning it gives me, else it's not sustainable anymore.
While I like to always having something to release in a party, I know the feeling of reaching a point where you-have-to release something, but you realize that by doing this, it will be another hasted mediocre production. I get the struggle of crunching near the deadline and all for the same mediocre things I did years ago.
I realized that this creates an emotional burden. I can continue doing small mediocre releases but that loses it's meaning as time passes. This creates a "what's the point?" demotivation. Meanwhile to get more meaning I imagine of bigger projects I wanted to work (and also projects outside demoscene) but when I see myself struggling with small mediocre things, I am like "No way!" when even thinking about the big things.
That's what I realize now, there is this mental habit I try to change, also the same self-fullfiling prophecy, I know I will try to work on something and I will fail to focus on this work and quit or rush it before the deadline as always. Every year I am getting in this loop of knowing what to expect and making it less meaningful.
Anyway, I am trying recently something new, to recognize these negative feelings, to appreciate when I work in something even if I spent time and doesn't work (my fear is that I might spend my evening for nothing, while I could have relaxed, watched movies, play games, youtube). Changing my mental habits, somehow appreciating just keeping the ball rolling without necessary expecting instant results. Now, if I plan for a demoparty and have something that needs more work, I won't rush it (I was working on two 256b for recent parties, stayed on a repo now for the future), I commit stuff, I can reuse but carefully. Meanwhile I started using Trello to give me the impression I am progressing.
While I like to always having something to release in a party, I know the feeling of reaching a point where you-have-to release something, but you realize that by doing this, it will be another hasted mediocre production. I get the struggle of crunching near the deadline and all for the same mediocre things I did years ago.
I realized that this creates an emotional burden. I can continue doing small mediocre releases but that loses it's meaning as time passes. This creates a "what's the point?" demotivation. Meanwhile to get more meaning I imagine of bigger projects I wanted to work (and also projects outside demoscene) but when I see myself struggling with small mediocre things, I am like "No way!" when even thinking about the big things.
That's what I realize now, there is this mental habit I try to change, also the same self-fullfiling prophecy, I know I will try to work on something and I will fail to focus on this work and quit or rush it before the deadline as always. Every year I am getting in this loop of knowing what to expect and making it less meaningful.
Anyway, I am trying recently something new, to recognize these negative feelings, to appreciate when I work in something even if I spent time and doesn't work (my fear is that I might spend my evening for nothing, while I could have relaxed, watched movies, play games, youtube). Changing my mental habits, somehow appreciating just keeping the ball rolling without necessary expecting instant results. Now, if I plan for a demoparty and have something that needs more work, I won't rush it (I was working on two 256b for recent parties, stayed on a repo now for the future), I commit stuff, I can reuse but carefully. Meanwhile I started using Trello to give me the impression I am progressing.
I was given a laptop for school as I'm very Dyslexic. It completely changed my life before I found reading very difficult but by playing around with the Laptop I soon learned to read.
I also find writing very difficult and can't spell for the life of me but by using the Laptop I learned to type and use spell check for the first time I could get my ideas out there.
When I started to read I started to read blogs like lifehacker etc and that lead my down the path of installing Linux on my laptop, building my own computer and going to College to study Computers.
Sadly I became ill and had to stop College and until recently I was to unwell to do anything. I got into the demoscene by knowing Knoeki and she has been pushing me to go to Revision for a few years.
I finally felt well enough and went to Revision this year and it was amazing. After that I went to Sundown and Evoke. My first demo was party codded at Evoke it's terrible but now I have the bug and really want try write something better.
I guess what motivates me is travailing to new places seeing amazing people and proving to my self that I can do things even while being extremely Dyslexic.
I also find writing very difficult and can't spell for the life of me but by using the Laptop I learned to type and use spell check for the first time I could get my ideas out there.
When I started to read I started to read blogs like lifehacker etc and that lead my down the path of installing Linux on my laptop, building my own computer and going to College to study Computers.
Sadly I became ill and had to stop College and until recently I was to unwell to do anything. I got into the demoscene by knowing Knoeki and she has been pushing me to go to Revision for a few years.
I finally felt well enough and went to Revision this year and it was amazing. After that I went to Sundown and Evoke. My first demo was party codded at Evoke it's terrible but now I have the bug and really want try write something better.
I guess what motivates me is travailing to new places seeing amazing people and proving to my self that I can do things even while being extremely Dyslexic.
