ordering pizza in 2010
category: general [glöplog]
Ordering Pizza in 2010....
Operator:
Good Evening, and thank you for calling Pizza Hut. May I have your
National ID number?
Customer:
Hi, I'd like to place an order to be delivered to my home.
Operator:
Sir, I must have your NIDN first.
Customer:
Oh yeah, my NIDN is, 610204998 45 54610
Operator:
Thank you Mr. Sheehan. I see you live at 1742 Meadowland Drive, and
your home phone is 494-2366. Your office number over at Lincoln
Insurance is 745-0204, your cell phone number is 917-6781 and your
e-mail address is sheehan@home.net <mailto:sheehan@home.net> . Which
number are you calling from Mr. Sheehan?
Customer:
I'm calling from home, but where did you get all of that information?
Operator:
Oh, Mr. Sheehan, we have a direct link to the Homeland Security system.
Customer:
Well great!! How about taking my pizza order now. We'd like one
family size All Meat Supreme, Stuffed crust pizza, and I have a coupon
for two free liters of Coke with any pizza order.
Operator:
Mr. Sheehan, I'm sorry but we won't be able to fill that order.
Customer:
What are you talking about?
Operator:
According to your medical records and our commode sensors your blood
pressure, and your cholesterol is well above the maximum limits per
the New Constitution. Your National Health Care provider won't allow
us to fill your order for that type of pizza, and since Mrs Sheehan is
a diabetic you will note that we have an exclusionary clause on the
coupon which prevents us from offering free soda to diabetics.
Customer:
This is crazy!! What do you recommend then?
Operator:
We'd be happy to place an order for our low-fat, thin-crust Soybean
pizza, I'm sure you'll really like that.
Customer:
What makes you think I'd like something like that?
Operator:
According to the Homeland Security system you checked out "Gourmet
Soybean Recipes" from the Park Street library last week, and did an
Internet search twice for Soybean recipes. That's why I made the
suggestion.
Customer:
All right, all right. Give me one family-sized Soybean pizza then.
Operator:
I'm not sure that would be enough for you, your wife and your four
kids. Perhaps you should consider two pizzas Mr. Sheehan.
Customer:
Okay, that's great. Give me two, family-sized Soybean pizzas.
Operator:
By the way, if you have leftovers you can give scraps to your two
dogs, but I wouldn't recommend it for the cat, Buffy. Your total is
$49.99, how would you like to pay this evening?
Customer:
I'll pay with my Visa card, the number is 624.......
Operator:
Sorry to interrupt Mr. Sheehan, but you are currently over your limit
on your Visa card, and your monthly payment is 12 days past due. The
New Constitution will not allow us to complete this transaction based
on the H.S.S. information.
Customer:
Fine, then I'll write a check.
Operator:
Mr. Sheehan, your balance in your checking account is $138.13 and you
have one outstanding check for $115.00 which hasn't cleared the bank
yet. Obviously your checking account would be overdrawn if you wrote
a check for $49.99. As you know, according to the New Constitution it
is illegal to knowingly write an N.S.F. check.
Customer:
Never mind, I'll pay cash for the pizzas.
Operator:
Mr. Sheehan, you should check your available cash closely. Since you
withdrew $250.00 using the ATM at the Plaid Pantry on Franklin Street,
on Friday, you've paid cash at the grocery store, which was $103.41,
you filled up your motorcycle which totaled $14.35, you stopped at
Mo's Bar and Grill and spent $35.00 for dinner and drinks, oh and you
tipped the waitress $5.00, you bought four boxes of Girl Scout cookies
for $24.00, don't you just love the peanut butter creams? and then you
paid your friend Jason $54.00 to install your new exhaust on your
motorcycle. Oh, and you also go t that triple shot latte` at
Starbucks for $3.00. That only leaves you with $11.24. Don't forge!
t you also have to give Kenny Jr. $5.00 for his school field trip on
Monday. So as you see Mr. Sheehan you won't have enough cash for this
order.
Customer:
You stupid #%#^^ this is just &$%*$@# ridiculous.
Operator:
Mr. Sheehan, I'd advise you to watch your language. You've already
got a conviction for verbally abusing the Park Ranger at Wixon State
Park over the Labor Day Weekend, and according to the HSS you are
still on probation for this offense. The New Constitution gives us
the ability to press charges against you for this current verbal
abuse, and........
Operator:
Good Evening, and thank you for calling Pizza Hut. May I have your
National ID number?
Customer:
Hi, I'd like to place an order to be delivered to my home.
Operator:
Sir, I must have your NIDN first.
Customer:
Oh yeah, my NIDN is, 610204998 45 54610
Operator:
Thank you Mr. Sheehan. I see you live at 1742 Meadowland Drive, and
your home phone is 494-2366. Your office number over at Lincoln
Insurance is 745-0204, your cell phone number is 917-6781 and your
e-mail address is sheehan@home.net <mailto:sheehan@home.net> . Which
number are you calling from Mr. Sheehan?
Customer:
I'm calling from home, but where did you get all of that information?
Operator:
Oh, Mr. Sheehan, we have a direct link to the Homeland Security system.
Customer:
Well great!! How about taking my pizza order now. We'd like one
family size All Meat Supreme, Stuffed crust pizza, and I have a coupon
for two free liters of Coke with any pizza order.
Operator:
Mr. Sheehan, I'm sorry but we won't be able to fill that order.
Customer:
What are you talking about?
Operator:
According to your medical records and our commode sensors your blood
pressure, and your cholesterol is well above the maximum limits per
the New Constitution. Your National Health Care provider won't allow
us to fill your order for that type of pizza, and since Mrs Sheehan is
a diabetic you will note that we have an exclusionary clause on the
coupon which prevents us from offering free soda to diabetics.
Customer:
This is crazy!! What do you recommend then?
Operator:
We'd be happy to place an order for our low-fat, thin-crust Soybean
pizza, I'm sure you'll really like that.
Customer:
What makes you think I'd like something like that?
Operator:
According to the Homeland Security system you checked out "Gourmet
Soybean Recipes" from the Park Street library last week, and did an
Internet search twice for Soybean recipes. That's why I made the
suggestion.
Customer:
All right, all right. Give me one family-sized Soybean pizza then.
Operator:
I'm not sure that would be enough for you, your wife and your four
kids. Perhaps you should consider two pizzas Mr. Sheehan.
Customer:
Okay, that's great. Give me two, family-sized Soybean pizzas.
Operator:
By the way, if you have leftovers you can give scraps to your two
dogs, but I wouldn't recommend it for the cat, Buffy. Your total is
$49.99, how would you like to pay this evening?
Customer:
I'll pay with my Visa card, the number is 624.......
Operator:
Sorry to interrupt Mr. Sheehan, but you are currently over your limit
on your Visa card, and your monthly payment is 12 days past due. The
New Constitution will not allow us to complete this transaction based
on the H.S.S. information.
Customer:
Fine, then I'll write a check.
Operator:
Mr. Sheehan, your balance in your checking account is $138.13 and you
have one outstanding check for $115.00 which hasn't cleared the bank
yet. Obviously your checking account would be overdrawn if you wrote
a check for $49.99. As you know, according to the New Constitution it
is illegal to knowingly write an N.S.F. check.
Customer:
Never mind, I'll pay cash for the pizzas.
Operator:
Mr. Sheehan, you should check your available cash closely. Since you
withdrew $250.00 using the ATM at the Plaid Pantry on Franklin Street,
on Friday, you've paid cash at the grocery store, which was $103.41,
you filled up your motorcycle which totaled $14.35, you stopped at
Mo's Bar and Grill and spent $35.00 for dinner and drinks, oh and you
tipped the waitress $5.00, you bought four boxes of Girl Scout cookies
for $24.00, don't you just love the peanut butter creams? and then you
paid your friend Jason $54.00 to install your new exhaust on your
motorcycle. Oh, and you also go t that triple shot latte` at
Starbucks for $3.00. That only leaves you with $11.24. Don't forge!
t you also have to give Kenny Jr. $5.00 for his school field trip on
Monday. So as you see Mr. Sheehan you won't have enough cash for this
order.
Customer:
You stupid #%#^^ this is just &$%*$@# ridiculous.
Operator:
Mr. Sheehan, I'd advise you to watch your language. You've already
got a conviction for verbally abusing the Park Ranger at Wixon State
Park over the Labor Day Weekend, and according to the HSS you are
still on probation for this offense. The New Constitution gives us
the ability to press charges against you for this current verbal
abuse, and........
ehm...no thanks, i will take the mickeymouse figure with my pizza, thank you.
Faces made out of wax is in this year.
iblis: just quoting text from some lame paranoia-site on the internet is just as boring and un-entertaining as posting random images from google dude. :)
Didn't Gandhi say it's irresponsible of a state to sell alcohol to people addicted to it?
I wonder how the argument generalizes. Anyway, fatty food and tobacco, while inarguably unhealthy, are very different than alcohol in nature (i.e. they don't cause "high", decrease mental capabilities and speed)
I wonder how the argument generalizes. Anyway, fatty food and tobacco, while inarguably unhealthy, are very different than alcohol in nature (i.e. they don't cause "high", decrease mental capabilities and speed)
Gloom its not from a conspiracy site, but a joke site. And i thought it was funny. And you call ME paranoid o_0
Nevertheless this is where we are going, and thats makes it double fun. Everybody can see it, and see it comming and clap our hands in welcome. idiots!
Nevertheless this is where we are going, and thats makes it double fun. Everybody can see it, and see it comming and clap our hands in welcome. idiots!
This is frickin' hilarious Iblis.....Great Post
iblis: yeah? well, it's also found on about 174 different other sites, among those, a number of political/paranoia-sites. just check google :)
*** YYY AAA WWW NNN ***
SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU WANNABE LEFTIST BORING IDIOT!
SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU WANNABE LEFTIST BORING IDIOT!
Stealth, that better be aimed at someone else you fuckface. That youre too dumb to see the obvious, is not my fault.
here...I think youre not updated.
Http://www.braindeadsheep.com/downloads/new_brainwashprogram.exe
here...I think youre not updated.
Http://www.braindeadsheep.com/downloads/new_brainwashprogram.exe
Besides stelthz..why dont you make me?
Okay, I may have been a bit "harsh". But I am quite allergic to these paranoid technophobic crap stories.
Quote:
SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU WANNABE LEFTIST BORING IDIOT!
is that wannabe AND leftist or wannabe leftist? :) and what is worse? A leftist or a wannabe leftist? and why?
use your own words.
Quote:
That youre too dumb to see the obvious, is not my fault.
Well, this is quite cliché. I take back that "WANNABE" and replace it with "delusional". And if you thought that was some neutral point of view "fun" story, you are mistaken.
http://www.okimoto.com/SAC/halloween/Tyler%20on%20the%20sofa.JPG
The woman on the left just noticed something, can you see what it is?
The woman on the left just noticed something, can you see what it is?
please keep entertaining me :)please stop using those moronic smileys.
Please stop telling me what to do
die, please.
make me
stfu please
THE HUMOR SPARSE IN YOU IS
Yet, you like I, still waste your time replying.