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Do not mess with the functioning of your brain introducing bugs. In other words, avoid drugs.

Why drugs alter your perception? What is perception?

These are not rethorical questions. I want you to think about it. And read something about neuroscience, dammit.

Besides, you are perfect the way you are. If you are different than others, that's good.

but with drugs you can get even more different than others!!!

??? interest ?

I wanted to read about neuroscience. I have vague ideas from popular articles. What's more to learn that teach you something about drugs?

Everyone is going through something of these, got their experience but now they are patronizing. They had the privilege.

And they just did it because it was cool. I hate cool.

I just explained the reasons of why I even considered and they are not naive.

I even know that at the end everything is an idea. Our perception, our personality. I mean,. with different outcomes, I would be someone entirely different than my personality, everything is air, I could think it like this. It's supposed to be a relief as an idea, you are not yourself, your ego, because you are this network of neurons that grew up like this and give you the idea you have about yourself and the world. So I could believe everything, happy things. But I can't. Even this grand idea, does not help me enough at the end to feel better with myself. Maybe because it's supposed to be like this. It's like I cut my hand with a knife and I ask my self "why don't you stop pain!". It's a part of ourselves to pain, as it's a part of ourselves to have consciousness and sometimes this be good and sometimes this be bad. So, it's not like I am missing something from the understanding of how my brain works, and how we have this view of ourself and the world that bothers us, and it could all be just thoughts like thin air. But somehow I am still bothered and I am sensitive to this. And maybe that's the final truth.

just read the doors of perception. saves you the trouble of a bad trip, psychosis or having to come down from psydrugs. and those stories are quite accurate and fun to read. :P

but if your reason for doing drugs is to feel better with yourself... then it's better to do prozac than mescaline ;)

Sort of. I just want to see if I will discover something there. If not, I'll move on..

But I'll have a look at your book. Maybe just reading transfers a feeling. I once read a book about meditation and it did make me feel better without even trying, even it sounds like bullshit but even the author said that sometimes just reading these flows of thoughts can almost bring you to some state. So, maybe doors of perception will be interesting to read.

morel season soon :)

@Optimus: To me drugs are a form of temporary escape and i think everyone needs a bit of escape now and then. I can only discourage you to take any drugs as long as you're not in a positive mood. I'm quite sure you don't want to augment your dysthimia into something worse.

Moreover: Just you're thinking about your problems (or any problems at all) doesn't solve them. Changes aren't made by just thinking or knowing about a subject. Its close to a natures law that you always have to get your ass up and do something.

I am not thinking these ones as temporary escape. I was thinking of the urban myth that somehow a trip could change the way you think and you want have to come back to them again.

But then, if drugs are not for those with bad mood but with good mood, why people with good mood would get it? If you are absolutely perfect with your life, why spoil it? It's perplexed people who somehow try to find an answer in any way possible. I do understand that maybe it's dangerous for someone with bad psychology, but why would someone with good psychology get them either?



I know this but it is simplistic. If we were robots, then we all would know that A is good for you and B is bad for you, so just stick to the plan and follow A. I wouldn't be here, wondering what's wrong with my head (and maybe nothing is) and while I know what's supposed to be good for me (or maybe it's the general impression) I am unable to start doing it. And also, besides that, overthinking was always a part of myself and not always the reason why I avoided doing things.

With your attitude to over-think everything, thinking about the same stuff over and over, i cant recommend psychoactive substances to you!
If you really want to see if drugs can help you, try some cannabis first! It´ll put you in a funny mood, laughing about every fart you make! ;)
And once you got used to it a bit, not having laughing-flashs anymore, you get into thinking again, but this time you´ll think about other stuff atleast, instead of about the same shit again and again! ;)

Degauss is absolutely right btw! -> Smoke a joint once you got used to it, go out and simply ask a woman in your range, if she´d like to watch a movie with you or sth!
(in your range being a woman not looking like a SuperModel, unless you look like a male Supermodel yourself! ;) )
There´s nothing to lose, when asking a woman to date you! Only thing that can happen is she says NO, in this case nothing changed for you, or even laugh at you, but if so, laugh back, turn around and forget about her, she´s not what you want anyway! ;)
If she says YES on the other hand, this could be exactly what changes your life to what you think you are missing! ;)

Instead of taking drugs you should try dating Women first! Being two humans in love is the best drug on Earth and will change your Life for sure, to the better most likely!
So get your ass up on weekends, go out and forget about your shyness, simply ask women you´d like to date if they´d like to date you aswell!
The best at this is the complete avoidance of the bad sides of drugs, f.e. a fucked up brain and an unhealthy body in general!

This is your drug, not mine.

I am not afraid women because of rejection. At the end because I am too good. To go from to talking to girl as a friend to talk in more intimate way, it seems overwhelming, like mmm maybe I shouldn't do that, it's an intimate thing if see knows. And even if we go together somewhere, another fear, because of the same fear of too intimate, I might don't act. Even if you get a first date, which I got once but sat around and talk and there was this idea I was stupid because I was supposed to act, (but what? try to kiss her? put a hand? isn't that initmate, since we are not already together isn't this arrogant?). You know the problem is, I am too good. If I was less careless in this, I would act more.

And still not my drug. All this enhanced idea that LOVE is the MEANING. Sorry, I don't get it.

And maybe I don't exactly want this either. I will not be left alone. I will have to care for a girl, and then the thoughts "maybe I don't show enough love, maybe she thinks I don't care about her" and all things that I'LL have to do but not necessary feel like doing.

Even if it is, I am so fucked up that I wouldn't feel at more ease and happy with a girl right now. I would be more anxious and just fullfilling a social contract, like "I also have a girlfriend, I am not a pitiful loner".

Oh and sometimes I did. I was drunk and said a girl that I liked her. I also got cues of girls who maybe were interested. But was frozen to do more. But of course it's not enough. I wish this thing was like a contract, even if it's not romantic for you, tick a box I like you, you like me, ok we can be 100% intimate now. But it's mystified, sometimes you don't know. And even if I say to a girl, so what? I have to move on with this. I can't explain.

Sorry bout these stuff, I somehow got into writting all my problems on pouet again. Sometimes I think I shouldn't. Most of the answers are just fueling my anger, because I feel they are simplicity but doesn't help me break out of this, just make me more miserable.

optimus: a psychedelic might change your way of thinking, but it won't solve all your problems or anything. It's just not like that. It's.. subtle, and hard to describe. You learn about things you didn't (probably couldn't) know about before. Not facts, not really concepts either, it's more like something spiritual. That's not really right either, but I can understand why some people get religious after taking them :)

It's like.. imagine getting a time machine and going into the distant future. You step out, and you don't find some bladerunner style city with flying cars. You find creatures way beyond anything you could imagine, and they're doing things so far beyond what you know that you can't understand at all what's happening. You're just completely shocked, and completely awed.

Then you come back to 2014, and regular life, having experienced that. Of course it changes you somehow, but it won't help you lose weight say :D Some people find it a religious experience, some find it mystical and think there is more 'reality' than we normally experience. Perhaps though it's just your brain being disconnected until you can't understand even simple things, then simple things seem somehow awesome.

Very important though: your frame of mind affects how you experience something like this. If you're relaxed and 'open', you're shown amazing things. If you're feeling a bit crappy and insecure, you can be shown terrible things, and you're unable to deal with it, it can be the ultimate nightmare. Think about the ways that could change you.

psonice++


No, it ain´t! I had some relationships in my youth up to the early twenties. I even had times where i fucked a different woman every (other) night for months! But i completely refrained from women after that! I am single for like 13 years by now and i don´t even had sex with someone else than myself ever since! I am like a monk, you know! Code and Porn is all i need to stay alive! ;)

This clearly shows how Life goes:
People always strive for what they DO NOT HAVE! ;) They think they miss sth others have and try half of their life to achieve that, only to find out they didn´t really miss anything at all once achieved! ;)

Life´s a bitch, learn to treat it your own way! Life offers you so much, you cant be missing anything! What you´ve got is enough! If you still think you want to do this or that atleast once in your life...go for it! I said: GO FOR IT! Simply stop talking/thinking about/of it, DO IT! ;) Life needs Action to work properly!

optimus: most type of drugs enhance the mood you have while taking them. if you feel shit and then smoke some weed you dont feel happy all of a sudden or more philosophical than fucking Nietzsche, you just feel deeper shit :) chances are you enforce a bad trip or psychosis based on the bad experience leaving you in a bigger mess than your current attempts to 'understand yourself'. it's better to take drugs when you're in a good state to process them, rather than going down the rabbit hole... ;)

also, stop whining like a bitch. make a list of stuff you need to improve about yourself. prioritize them. take the last 3 of them. write 3 steps of daily routine to make them happen. and do it. when that's satisfactory, make a new list. that works usually better than drugs.

The answers are just making you angry because the don't relate to your main problem. I don't know you, but i sure as hell know you are compulsive - i bet not only in your thinking. On one hand you're writing 'bout meta-thinking, on the other hand you not seem to have any skills at (by meta-thinking) escaping from one of your while(true)-thought-loops.

You said it yourself: You're too good. You might believe your thinking gives you control over yourself or your surrounding, but in reality the very opposite is the case: Its controlling you and thus preventing you from getting the feel for stuff. Remember there is no guarantee for anything.

hArDy is totally right: You need to stop spinning around the very same stuff over and over again. Therefore you need to tackle that compulsive thing you have by any means.

Maybe I should just stop visiting pouet.

A therapist might not be a bad idea. And this is a friendly suggestion from someone who's seen quite a bit.