a little bit of history on flamefests
category: general [glöplog]
Found this and thought I might share it with you. It sort of explains why flamefests have always existed, and why those trying to stop flames will often get flamed themselves. It's not only pouet or c.s.i.p.d. It's always been there, it's inherent to the net.
This excerpt is from the first chapter of The Cluetrain Manifesto.
===8<===8<===8<===
But you know what they say about all work and no play. People began to play. Left to themselves, they always do. And the people building the Internet were pretty much left to themselves. They were creating the gameboard. No one else knew how the hell this thing worked, so no one could tell them what they could and couldn't do. They did whatever they liked. And one of the things they liked most was arguing.
Consider that these early denizens of the Net were, for the most part, young, brash, untrained in the intricate dance of corporate politics, and highly knowledgeable of their craft. In the prized and noble older sense of the term, they were hackers, and proud of it. Many, in their own assessment if not that of others, were net.gods — high priests of an arcane art very few even knew existed. When disagreements arose over serious matters — the correct use of quotation marks, say — they would join in battle like old Norse warriors:
"Jim, you are a complete idiot. Your code is so brain-damaged it won't even compile. Read a book, moron."
Today, we tend to think of "flaming" as a handful of people vociferously insulting each other online. A certain sense of finesse has largely been lost. In the olden days, a good flame war could go on for weeks or months, with hot invective flying around like rhetorical shrapnel. It was high art, high entertainment. Though tempers flared hot and professional bridges were sometimes irreparably burned, ultimately it was a game — a participatory sport in which the audience awarded points for felicitous disparagements, particularly well-worded putdowns, inspired squelches.
It was not a game, however, for the meek of heart. These engagements could be fierce. Even trying to separate the contestants could bring down a hail of sharp-tongued derision. Theories were floated and defended with extreme energy and enthusiasm, if not always with logical rigor. Opinions tended to run high on any given topic. Say you'd posted about your dog. And, look, you got a response! "Jim, you are a complete idiot. Your dog is so brain-damaged it won't even hunt..."
If you'd happened to see the first version of the comment to Jim, you might grin at the second. If not, your mileage might vary. But the point is not to extol flame wars, as amusing as some could be. Instead, it is to suggest a particular set of values that began to emerge in what linguists might call a well-bounded speech community. On the Net, you said what you meant and had better be ready to explain your position and how you'd arrived at it. Mouthing platitudes guaranteed that you would be challenged. Nothing was accepted at face value, or taken for granted. Everything was subject to question, revision, re-implementation, parody — whether it was an algorithm, a political philosophy or, God help you, an advertisement.
While the outcome of these debates did not invariably constitute wisdom for the ages, the process by which they took place was honing a razor-sharp sense of collective potential. The conversation was not only engaging, interesting, exciting — it was effective. Tools and techniques emerged with a speed that broke all precedents. As would soon become obvious, the Net was a powerful multiplier for intellectual capital.
===8<===8<===8<===
This excerpt is from the first chapter of The Cluetrain Manifesto.
===8<===8<===8<===
But you know what they say about all work and no play. People began to play. Left to themselves, they always do. And the people building the Internet were pretty much left to themselves. They were creating the gameboard. No one else knew how the hell this thing worked, so no one could tell them what they could and couldn't do. They did whatever they liked. And one of the things they liked most was arguing.
Consider that these early denizens of the Net were, for the most part, young, brash, untrained in the intricate dance of corporate politics, and highly knowledgeable of their craft. In the prized and noble older sense of the term, they were hackers, and proud of it. Many, in their own assessment if not that of others, were net.gods — high priests of an arcane art very few even knew existed. When disagreements arose over serious matters — the correct use of quotation marks, say — they would join in battle like old Norse warriors:
"Jim, you are a complete idiot. Your code is so brain-damaged it won't even compile. Read a book, moron."
Today, we tend to think of "flaming" as a handful of people vociferously insulting each other online. A certain sense of finesse has largely been lost. In the olden days, a good flame war could go on for weeks or months, with hot invective flying around like rhetorical shrapnel. It was high art, high entertainment. Though tempers flared hot and professional bridges were sometimes irreparably burned, ultimately it was a game — a participatory sport in which the audience awarded points for felicitous disparagements, particularly well-worded putdowns, inspired squelches.
It was not a game, however, for the meek of heart. These engagements could be fierce. Even trying to separate the contestants could bring down a hail of sharp-tongued derision. Theories were floated and defended with extreme energy and enthusiasm, if not always with logical rigor. Opinions tended to run high on any given topic. Say you'd posted about your dog. And, look, you got a response! "Jim, you are a complete idiot. Your dog is so brain-damaged it won't even hunt..."
If you'd happened to see the first version of the comment to Jim, you might grin at the second. If not, your mileage might vary. But the point is not to extol flame wars, as amusing as some could be. Instead, it is to suggest a particular set of values that began to emerge in what linguists might call a well-bounded speech community. On the Net, you said what you meant and had better be ready to explain your position and how you'd arrived at it. Mouthing platitudes guaranteed that you would be challenged. Nothing was accepted at face value, or taken for granted. Everything was subject to question, revision, re-implementation, parody — whether it was an algorithm, a political philosophy or, God help you, an advertisement.
While the outcome of these debates did not invariably constitute wisdom for the ages, the process by which they took place was honing a razor-sharp sense of collective potential. The conversation was not only engaging, interesting, exciting — it was effective. Tools and techniques emerged with a speed that broke all precedents. As would soon become obvious, the Net was a powerful multiplier for intellectual capital.
===8<===8<===8<===
this is sooo true & right. :)
"Who wrote this is a complete idiot, his article is so brain-damaged it won't even be read by anyone. Write something else, moron!" :-)
"Why are you so scared, Jim ? I have constructive comments !"
information about trolls .. [the best flamers around .. i love those guys, but they really don't seem to have a life]
some info from a trollmaster himself [+links to VERY amusing threads]
http://searchlore.org/fldigest.htm
general info about trolling:
http://searchlore.org/trolls.htm
some info from a trollmaster himself [+links to VERY amusing threads]
http://searchlore.org/fldigest.htm
general info about trolling:
http://searchlore.org/trolls.htm
Also interesting:
"The alt.syntax.tactical crew (of which I am definitely not a member) decides every now and then to start a colossal crosspost / flame war. One of their attacks started trolling by crossposting between alt.smokers, can.talk.smoking, alt.support.non-smokers, asthma and SCI groups. The trollers would take an original post from alt.smokers, pass it thru a anonymous remailer (with the original e-mail name intact) and repost it to all of the above groups. This (as you can guess) started a massive flame war with the original (innocent) poster getting in trouble for the crosspost that they never made."
from http://ddi.digital.net/~gandalf/trollfaq.html
"The alt.syntax.tactical crew (of which I am definitely not a member) decides every now and then to start a colossal crosspost / flame war. One of their attacks started trolling by crossposting between alt.smokers, can.talk.smoking, alt.support.non-smokers, asthma and SCI groups. The trollers would take an original post from alt.smokers, pass it thru a anonymous remailer (with the original e-mail name intact) and repost it to all of the above groups. This (as you can guess) started a massive flame war with the original (innocent) poster getting in trouble for the crosspost that they never made."
from http://ddi.digital.net/~gandalf/trollfaq.html
so many morons, in one forum, no wonder you managed to picked a lousy subject + talk crap and all :)
Flamewars were not invented on the Internet, but on the scene, namely back on the Apple-II modem/warez scene in the late seventies.
I currently have an errection
The internet (and networked discussion areas in general) predates the Apple-II. I remember seeing the Apple][ when it first came out and my thoughts were: "This sucks! 40 columns and no lower case!"
I learned how to program BASIC on the Apple, then my parents bought a TI99/4a. Exciting, yes?
You swine. You vulgar little maggot. You worthless bag of filth. As we say in Texas, you couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions printed on the heel. You are a canker, an open wound. I would rather kiss a lawyer than be seen with you. You took your last vacation in the Isles of Langerhan.
You're a putrescent mass, a walking vomit. You are a spineless little worm deserving nothing but the profoundest contempt. You are a jerk, a cad, a weasel. Your life is a monument to stupidity. You are a stench, a revulsion, a big suck on a sour lemon.
You are a bleating foal, a curdled staggering mutant dwarf smeared richly with the effluvia and offal accompanying your alleged birth into a hostile world. You are an insensate, blinking calf, meaningful to nobody, abandoned by the puke-drooling, giggling
beasts who sired you and then died of shame in recognition of what they had done. They were a bit late.
I will never get over the embarrassment of belonging to the same species as you. You are a monster, an ogre, a malformity. I barf at the very thought of you. You have all the appeal of a paper cut. Lepers avoid you. You are vile, worthless, less than nothing. You
are a weed, a fungus, the dregs of this earth. And did I mention that you smell?
Try to edit your responses of unnecessary material before attempting to impress us with your insight. The evidence that you are a nincompoop will still be available to readers, but they will be able to access it ever so much more rapidly.
You snail-skulled little rabbit. Would that a hawk pick you up, drive its beak into your brain, and upon finding it rancid set you loose to fly briefly before spattering the ocean rocks with the frothy pink shame of your ignoble blood. May you choke on the
queasy, convulsing nausea of your own trite, foolish beliefs.
You are weary, stale, flat and unprofitable. You are grimy, squalid, nasty and profane. You are foul and disgusting. You're a fool, an ignoramus. Monkeys look down on you. Even sheep won't have sex with you. You are unreservedly pathetic, starved for attention, and lost in a land that reality forgot. You are not ANSII compliant. You have a couple of address lines shorted together. You should be promoted to Engineering Manager.
And what meaning do you expect your delusionally self-important statements of unknowing, inexperienced opinion to have with us? What fantasy do you hold that you would believe that your tiny-fisted tantrums would have more weight than that of a leprous desert rat, spinning rabidly in a circle, waiting for the bite of the snake?
You are a waste of flesh. You have no rhythm. You are ridiculous and obnoxious. You are the moral equivalent of a leech. You are a living emptiness, a meaningless void. You are sour and senile. You are a loathsome disease, a puerile slack-jawed drooling eatslapper. You make Quakers shout and strike Pentecostals silent. Your mother had to tie a pork chop around your neck just to get your dog to play with you.
On a good day you're a half-wit. You remind me of drool. You are deficient in all that lends character. You have the personality of wallpaper. You are dank and filthy. You are asinine and benighted. You are the source of all unpleasantness. You spread misery and sorrow wherever you go.
You smarmy lagerlout git. You bloody woofter sod. Bugger off, pillock. You grotty wanking oik artless base-court apple-john. You clouted boggish foot-licking half-twit. You dankish clack-dish plonker. You gormless crook-pated tosser. You bloody churlish boil-brained clotpole ponce. You craven dewberry kisshead cockup pratting naff. You cockered bum-bailey poofter. You gob-kissing gleeking flap-mouthed coxcomb. You dread-bolted fobbing beef-witted clapper-clawed flirt-gill.
You are so clueless that if we stripped you naked, soaked you in clue musk, and dropped you into a field full of horny clues, You still would not have a clue.
You are a fiend and a coward, and you have bad breath. You are degenerate, noxious and depraved. I feel debased just for knowing you exist. I despise everything about you, and I wish you would go away.
I cannot believe how incredibly stupid you are. I mean rock-hard stupid. Dehydrated-rock-hard stupid. Stupid so stupid that it goes way beyond the stupid we know into a whole different dimension of stupid. You are trans-stupid stupid. Meta-stupid. Stupid collapsed on itself so far that even the neutrons have collapsed. Stupid gotten so dense that no intellect can escape. Singularity stupid. Blazing hot mid-day sun on Mercury stupid. You emit more stupid in one second than our entire galaxy emits in a year. Quasar stupid. Your writing has to be a troll. Nothing in our universe can really be this stupid. Perhaps this is some primordial fragment from the original big bang of stupid. Some pure essence of a stupid so uncontaminated by anything else as to be beyond the laws of physics that we know. I'm sorry. I can't go on. This is an epiphany of stupid for me. After this, you may not hear from me again for a while. I don't have enough strength left to deride your ignorant questions and half baked comments about unimportant trivia, or any of the rest of this drivel. Duh.
( Fine print: This is version 5.31 of Guy Macon's insult file. Feel free to use this any way that you please. If you have an insult to add, or for the latest version of this file, go to [http://users.deltanet.com/~guymacon/insult/ ]. )
The only thing worse than your logic is your manners. I have snipped away most of your of what you wrote, because, well... it didn't really say anything. Your attempt at constructing a creative flame was pitiful. I mean, really, stringing together a bunch of insults among a load of babbling was hardly effective...
Maybe later in life, after you have learned to read, write, spell, and count, you will have more success. True, these are rudimentary skills that many of us "normal" people take for granted that everyone has an easy time of mastering. But we sometimes forget that there are "challenged" persons in this world who find these things more difficult. If I had known, that this was your case then I would have never read your post. It just wouldn't have been "right". Sort of like parking in a handicap space. I wish you the best of luck in the emotional, and social struggles that seem to be placing such a demand on you.
STANDARDIZED BONEHEAD REPLY FORM
(check all boxes that apply)
Dear:
[ ] Clueless Newbie [ ] Lamer [ ] Flamer
[ ] Loser [ ] Spammer [ ] Troller
[ ] "Me too" er [ ] Pervert [ ] Geek
[ ] Freak [ ] Nerd [ ] Elvis
[ ] Racist [ ] Fed [ ] Freak
[ ] Fundamentalist [ ] Satanist [ ] Homeopath
[ ] Unbearably self-righteous person [ ] Shoko Asahara
I took exception to your recent:
[ ] Email
[ ] Post to ________ newsgroup
[ ] Broadcast
[ ] Letter
[ ] Book
[ ] Lecture
[ ] Phone call
[ ] Advertisement
[ ] Schematic
[ ] Telepathic message
[ ] Existence
It was (check all that apply):
[ ] Lame [ ] Stupid [ ] Abusive
[ ] Clueless [ ] Idiotic [ ] Brain-damaged
[ ] Imbecilic [ ] Arrogant [ ] Malevolent
[ ] Contemptible [ ] Libelous [ ] Ignorant
[ ] Stupid [ ] Fundamentalist [ ] Microsoftian
[ ] Boring [ ] Dim [ ] Cowardly
[ ] Deceitful [ ] Demented [ ] Self-righteous
[ ] Crazy [ ] Weird [ ] Hypocritical
[ ] Loathsome [ ] Satanic [ ] Despicable
[ ] Belligerent [ ] Mind-numbing [ ] Maladroit
[ ] Much longer than any worthwhile thought you may be capable of.
Your attention is drawn to the fact that:
[ ] You posted what should have been emailed.
[ ] You obviously don't know how to read your newsgroups line.
[ ] You are trying to make money on a non-commercial newsgroup.
[ ] You self-righteously impose your religious beliefs on others.
[ ] You self-righteously impose your racial beliefs on others.
[ ] You posted a binary in a non-binaries group.
[ ] You don't know which group to post in.
[ ] You posted something totally uninteresting.
[ ] You crossposted to *way* too many newsgroups.
[ ] I don't like your tone of voice.
[ ] What you posted has been done before.
[ ] Not only that, it was also done better the last time.
[ ] You quoted an *entire* post in your reply.
[ ] You started a long, stupid thread.
[ ] You continued spreading a long stupid thread.
[ ] Your post is absurdly off topic for where you posted it.
[ ] You posted a followup to crossposted robot-generated spam.
[ ] You posted a "test" in a discussion group rather than in misc.test
[ ] You posted a "YOU ALL SUCK" message.
[ ] You posted low-IQ flamebait.
[ ] You posted a blatantly obvious troll.
[ ] You followed up to a blatantly obvious troll.
[ ] You said "me too" to something.
[ ] You make no sense.
[ ] Your sig/alias is dreadful.
[ ] You must live in a skinner box to be this clueless.
[ ] You posted a phone-sex ad.
[ ] You posted a stupid pyramid money making scheme.
[ ] You claimed a pyramid-scheme/chain letter for money was legal.
[ ] Your margin settings (or lack of) make your post unreadable. Each
line just goes on and on, not stopping at 75 characters, making it hard
to read.
[ ] You posted in ELitE CaPitALs to look k0OL.
[ ] You posted a message in ALL CAPS, and you don't even own a TRS-80.
[ ] Your post was FULL of RANDOM CAPS for NO APPARENT REASON.
[ ] You have greatly misunderstood the purpose of this newsgroup.
[ ] You have greatly misunderstood the purpose of the Internet.
[ ] You are a loser.
[ ] This has been pointed out to you before.
[ ] You didn't do anything specific, but appear to be so generally
worthless that you are being flamed on general principles.
I recommend that you:
[ ] Get a clue.
[ ] Get a life.
[ ] Go away.
[ ] Grow up.
[ ] Never post again.
[ ] Read every newsgroup you crossposted to for a week.
[ ] stop reading Usenet news and get a life.
[ ] stop sending Email and get a life.
[ ] Bust up your modem with a hammer and eat it.
[ ] Have your medication adjusted.
[ ] Jump into a bathtub while holding your monitor.
[ ] find a volcano and throw yourself in.
[ ] get a gun and shoot yourself.
[ ] Actually post something relevant.
[ ] Read the FAQ.
[ ] stick to AOL chat rooms and come back when you've grown up.
[ ] Apologize to everybody in this newsgroup.
[ ] consume excrement.
[ ] consume excrement and thus expire.
[ ] Post your tests to misc.test.
[ ] Put your home phone number in your ads from now on.
[ ] Don't post until you have a vague idea what you're doing.
In Closing, I'd Like to Say:
[ ] You need to seek psychiatric help
[ ] Take your gibberish somewhere else
[ ] *plonk*
[ ] Learn how to post or get off the Internet.
[ ] Most of the above
[ ] All of the above
[ ] Some of the above, not including All of the above
[X] You are so clueless that I didn't bother filling in this form.
P.S.:
You are hypocritical, greedy, violent, malevolent, vengeful, cowardly, deadly, mendacious, meretricious, loathsome, despicable, belligerent, opportunistic, barratrous, contemptible, criminal, fascistic, bigoted, racist, sexist, avaricious, tasteless, idiotic, brain-damaged, imbecilic, insane, arrogant, deceitful, demented, lame, self-righteous, byzantine, conspiratorial, satanic, fraudulent, libelous, bilious, splenetic, spastic, ignorant, clueless, illegitimate, harmful, destructive, dumb evasive, double-talking, devious, revisionist, narrow, manipulative, paternalistic, fundamentalist, dogmatic, idolatrous, unethical, cultic, diseased, suppressive, controlling, restrictive, malignant, deceptive, dim, crazy, weird, dystopic, stifling, uncaring, plantigrade, grim, unsympathetic, jargon-spouting, censorious, secretive, aggressive, mind-numbing, arassive, poisonous, flagrant, self-destructive, abusive, socially-retarded, puerile, and Generally Not Good.
Found on a newsgroup. (I think it was csipd ;)
You're a putrescent mass, a walking vomit. You are a spineless little worm deserving nothing but the profoundest contempt. You are a jerk, a cad, a weasel. Your life is a monument to stupidity. You are a stench, a revulsion, a big suck on a sour lemon.
You are a bleating foal, a curdled staggering mutant dwarf smeared richly with the effluvia and offal accompanying your alleged birth into a hostile world. You are an insensate, blinking calf, meaningful to nobody, abandoned by the puke-drooling, giggling
beasts who sired you and then died of shame in recognition of what they had done. They were a bit late.
I will never get over the embarrassment of belonging to the same species as you. You are a monster, an ogre, a malformity. I barf at the very thought of you. You have all the appeal of a paper cut. Lepers avoid you. You are vile, worthless, less than nothing. You
are a weed, a fungus, the dregs of this earth. And did I mention that you smell?
Try to edit your responses of unnecessary material before attempting to impress us with your insight. The evidence that you are a nincompoop will still be available to readers, but they will be able to access it ever so much more rapidly.
You snail-skulled little rabbit. Would that a hawk pick you up, drive its beak into your brain, and upon finding it rancid set you loose to fly briefly before spattering the ocean rocks with the frothy pink shame of your ignoble blood. May you choke on the
queasy, convulsing nausea of your own trite, foolish beliefs.
You are weary, stale, flat and unprofitable. You are grimy, squalid, nasty and profane. You are foul and disgusting. You're a fool, an ignoramus. Monkeys look down on you. Even sheep won't have sex with you. You are unreservedly pathetic, starved for attention, and lost in a land that reality forgot. You are not ANSII compliant. You have a couple of address lines shorted together. You should be promoted to Engineering Manager.
And what meaning do you expect your delusionally self-important statements of unknowing, inexperienced opinion to have with us? What fantasy do you hold that you would believe that your tiny-fisted tantrums would have more weight than that of a leprous desert rat, spinning rabidly in a circle, waiting for the bite of the snake?
You are a waste of flesh. You have no rhythm. You are ridiculous and obnoxious. You are the moral equivalent of a leech. You are a living emptiness, a meaningless void. You are sour and senile. You are a loathsome disease, a puerile slack-jawed drooling eatslapper. You make Quakers shout and strike Pentecostals silent. Your mother had to tie a pork chop around your neck just to get your dog to play with you.
On a good day you're a half-wit. You remind me of drool. You are deficient in all that lends character. You have the personality of wallpaper. You are dank and filthy. You are asinine and benighted. You are the source of all unpleasantness. You spread misery and sorrow wherever you go.
You smarmy lagerlout git. You bloody woofter sod. Bugger off, pillock. You grotty wanking oik artless base-court apple-john. You clouted boggish foot-licking half-twit. You dankish clack-dish plonker. You gormless crook-pated tosser. You bloody churlish boil-brained clotpole ponce. You craven dewberry kisshead cockup pratting naff. You cockered bum-bailey poofter. You gob-kissing gleeking flap-mouthed coxcomb. You dread-bolted fobbing beef-witted clapper-clawed flirt-gill.
You are so clueless that if we stripped you naked, soaked you in clue musk, and dropped you into a field full of horny clues, You still would not have a clue.
You are a fiend and a coward, and you have bad breath. You are degenerate, noxious and depraved. I feel debased just for knowing you exist. I despise everything about you, and I wish you would go away.
I cannot believe how incredibly stupid you are. I mean rock-hard stupid. Dehydrated-rock-hard stupid. Stupid so stupid that it goes way beyond the stupid we know into a whole different dimension of stupid. You are trans-stupid stupid. Meta-stupid. Stupid collapsed on itself so far that even the neutrons have collapsed. Stupid gotten so dense that no intellect can escape. Singularity stupid. Blazing hot mid-day sun on Mercury stupid. You emit more stupid in one second than our entire galaxy emits in a year. Quasar stupid. Your writing has to be a troll. Nothing in our universe can really be this stupid. Perhaps this is some primordial fragment from the original big bang of stupid. Some pure essence of a stupid so uncontaminated by anything else as to be beyond the laws of physics that we know. I'm sorry. I can't go on. This is an epiphany of stupid for me. After this, you may not hear from me again for a while. I don't have enough strength left to deride your ignorant questions and half baked comments about unimportant trivia, or any of the rest of this drivel. Duh.
( Fine print: This is version 5.31 of Guy Macon's insult file. Feel free to use this any way that you please. If you have an insult to add, or for the latest version of this file, go to [http://users.deltanet.com/~guymacon/insult/ ]. )
The only thing worse than your logic is your manners. I have snipped away most of your of what you wrote, because, well... it didn't really say anything. Your attempt at constructing a creative flame was pitiful. I mean, really, stringing together a bunch of insults among a load of babbling was hardly effective...
Maybe later in life, after you have learned to read, write, spell, and count, you will have more success. True, these are rudimentary skills that many of us "normal" people take for granted that everyone has an easy time of mastering. But we sometimes forget that there are "challenged" persons in this world who find these things more difficult. If I had known, that this was your case then I would have never read your post. It just wouldn't have been "right". Sort of like parking in a handicap space. I wish you the best of luck in the emotional, and social struggles that seem to be placing such a demand on you.
STANDARDIZED BONEHEAD REPLY FORM
(check all boxes that apply)
Dear:
[ ] Clueless Newbie [ ] Lamer [ ] Flamer
[ ] Loser [ ] Spammer [ ] Troller
[ ] "Me too" er [ ] Pervert [ ] Geek
[ ] Freak [ ] Nerd [ ] Elvis
[ ] Racist [ ] Fed [ ] Freak
[ ] Fundamentalist [ ] Satanist [ ] Homeopath
[ ] Unbearably self-righteous person [ ] Shoko Asahara
I took exception to your recent:
[ ] Post to ________ newsgroup
[ ] Broadcast
[ ] Letter
[ ] Book
[ ] Lecture
[ ] Phone call
[ ] Advertisement
[ ] Schematic
[ ] Telepathic message
[ ] Existence
It was (check all that apply):
[ ] Lame [ ] Stupid [ ] Abusive
[ ] Clueless [ ] Idiotic [ ] Brain-damaged
[ ] Imbecilic [ ] Arrogant [ ] Malevolent
[ ] Contemptible [ ] Libelous [ ] Ignorant
[ ] Stupid [ ] Fundamentalist [ ] Microsoftian
[ ] Boring [ ] Dim [ ] Cowardly
[ ] Deceitful [ ] Demented [ ] Self-righteous
[ ] Crazy [ ] Weird [ ] Hypocritical
[ ] Loathsome [ ] Satanic [ ] Despicable
[ ] Belligerent [ ] Mind-numbing [ ] Maladroit
[ ] Much longer than any worthwhile thought you may be capable of.
Your attention is drawn to the fact that:
[ ] You posted what should have been emailed.
[ ] You obviously don't know how to read your newsgroups line.
[ ] You are trying to make money on a non-commercial newsgroup.
[ ] You self-righteously impose your religious beliefs on others.
[ ] You self-righteously impose your racial beliefs on others.
[ ] You posted a binary in a non-binaries group.
[ ] You don't know which group to post in.
[ ] You posted something totally uninteresting.
[ ] You crossposted to *way* too many newsgroups.
[ ] I don't like your tone of voice.
[ ] What you posted has been done before.
[ ] Not only that, it was also done better the last time.
[ ] You quoted an *entire* post in your reply.
[ ] You started a long, stupid thread.
[ ] You continued spreading a long stupid thread.
[ ] Your post is absurdly off topic for where you posted it.
[ ] You posted a followup to crossposted robot-generated spam.
[ ] You posted a "test" in a discussion group rather than in misc.test
[ ] You posted a "YOU ALL SUCK" message.
[ ] You posted low-IQ flamebait.
[ ] You posted a blatantly obvious troll.
[ ] You followed up to a blatantly obvious troll.
[ ] You said "me too" to something.
[ ] You make no sense.
[ ] Your sig/alias is dreadful.
[ ] You must live in a skinner box to be this clueless.
[ ] You posted a phone-sex ad.
[ ] You posted a stupid pyramid money making scheme.
[ ] You claimed a pyramid-scheme/chain letter for money was legal.
[ ] Your margin settings (or lack of) make your post unreadable. Each
line just goes on and on, not stopping at 75 characters, making it hard
to read.
[ ] You posted in ELitE CaPitALs to look k0OL.
[ ] You posted a message in ALL CAPS, and you don't even own a TRS-80.
[ ] Your post was FULL of RANDOM CAPS for NO APPARENT REASON.
[ ] You have greatly misunderstood the purpose of this newsgroup.
[ ] You have greatly misunderstood the purpose of the Internet.
[ ] You are a loser.
[ ] This has been pointed out to you before.
[ ] You didn't do anything specific, but appear to be so generally
worthless that you are being flamed on general principles.
I recommend that you:
[ ] Get a clue.
[ ] Get a life.
[ ] Go away.
[ ] Grow up.
[ ] Never post again.
[ ] Read every newsgroup you crossposted to for a week.
[ ] stop reading Usenet news and get a life.
[ ] stop sending Email and get a life.
[ ] Bust up your modem with a hammer and eat it.
[ ] Have your medication adjusted.
[ ] Jump into a bathtub while holding your monitor.
[ ] find a volcano and throw yourself in.
[ ] get a gun and shoot yourself.
[ ] Actually post something relevant.
[ ] Read the FAQ.
[ ] stick to AOL chat rooms and come back when you've grown up.
[ ] Apologize to everybody in this newsgroup.
[ ] consume excrement.
[ ] consume excrement and thus expire.
[ ] Post your tests to misc.test.
[ ] Put your home phone number in your ads from now on.
[ ] Don't post until you have a vague idea what you're doing.
In Closing, I'd Like to Say:
[ ] You need to seek psychiatric help
[ ] Take your gibberish somewhere else
[ ] *plonk*
[ ] Learn how to post or get off the Internet.
[ ] Most of the above
[ ] All of the above
[ ] Some of the above, not including All of the above
[X] You are so clueless that I didn't bother filling in this form.
P.S.:
You are hypocritical, greedy, violent, malevolent, vengeful, cowardly, deadly, mendacious, meretricious, loathsome, despicable, belligerent, opportunistic, barratrous, contemptible, criminal, fascistic, bigoted, racist, sexist, avaricious, tasteless, idiotic, brain-damaged, imbecilic, insane, arrogant, deceitful, demented, lame, self-righteous, byzantine, conspiratorial, satanic, fraudulent, libelous, bilious, splenetic, spastic, ignorant, clueless, illegitimate, harmful, destructive, dumb evasive, double-talking, devious, revisionist, narrow, manipulative, paternalistic, fundamentalist, dogmatic, idolatrous, unethical, cultic, diseased, suppressive, controlling, restrictive, malignant, deceptive, dim, crazy, weird, dystopic, stifling, uncaring, plantigrade, grim, unsympathetic, jargon-spouting, censorious, secretive, aggressive, mind-numbing, arassive, poisonous, flagrant, self-destructive, abusive, socially-retarded, puerile, and Generally Not Good.
Found on a newsgroup. (I think it was csipd ;)
