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my boss' most repeated sentence: "Sent from my iPhone"... from his swimming pool, every afternoon

Sounds like he's having a good time :)

- "The production is already waiting.",
- "Where are we with that issue?",

The other ones (from another ones, I hardly consider them as "bosses" thou):
- "Yes, you will have the extra pay, as we promised" (NEVER trust such words until it was written),
- "Be corporate, you are THE person who CAN DO that",
- "I will contact you back about that" (yes....yeeesssss.....);

Till today the winner fav was:
- "What are you doing here? Go now, you have your flight in a few hours!" ;)

"clear your desk and collect your P45 on your way out"

Received by email yesterday (whilst I was chucking a [genuine] sickie) -
"Could you go up to head office to sign your contract as they don't have a copy" After numerous mentions from me that I hadn't received my contract or superannuation info. Ever. From corporate induction & on...
Head office is about 1 & 1/4 hrs. drive away.
I offered to drive to HO today when I got to work & strangely enough they were quite happy for me to sign an emailed, printed copy which got scanned to HO.
The amount of bureaucracy I work with would put many government departments to shame!!!
Having said that - I love my job.

Ha! Button, your quotation made me think about one project manager's opinion about my implication in a GOOD understanding of the issue I was supposed to take over for a short, but intesive period.

"Yes, yes, gooood. Listen, I decided not to keep you, you can take your stuff and can go home. Yes, now."
I asked why since I was on my first week, and to my BIGGER surprise the answer was:
"Well, I heard you asked questions. You should work, not ask."

All in all, it was a very good decision ^^.

Buzz terms from our MD - we're a software sollutions provider for warehouse / order management systems.....

"It's like Formula 1, we supply the car, you supply the driver"

"Can you drive this through?"

"I don't want to know the detail at a granular level, thats for the techies"

"Max the enevlope"

However, this one was the best...

He walks into the office and says "You see guys, the company is a team, think of it as the team that works on the Challenger space shuttle. Massive team all working together to get it up into the air"....

as he walks out my mate says "Errrr Challenger disintegrated before it left earths atmosphere, much like our software"

My boss coded Something about silents makes me sick, to my disappointment he just keeps saying "I wrote a python script for doing this" instead of "Sug röv!"

When I was working as IT-Admin, one of the bossy people always cut explanations with that "I dont want to know the details, just make it so" or similar. Humorous times as most of the time it was about stuff concerning him also. Sigh.

Are we ready for the June deadline ?

You guys do know what you're doing... Don't you?

qmotv, I often ask technical people to sum things up .. in my mind it's rather a bad sign if they can't at least give a higher level summary before going into details..

"Ship it"

Exactly Duffman, exactly ;). Or "When you gonna ship it?"

Ha! I am waiting impatiently for today's boss quotes ^^.

"shut the fuck up" <-- seconds ago, after some video on the web started speaking on his laptop while he had ~40 tabs open and couldn't find the one.

Not a boss, but a QA seanir test manager:
"How can I run a php script?"

seanir = senior

"I don't want to depend on so many third-party libraries - can't we just use Boost without STL?".

"I don t need to get into technical details anyway"

I was on my way out to the lift and in front of it I met by boss (he is a very, very cool guy). When he saw me, he said smiling:
"You are not happy to see me, aren't you?" (keeping in mind I gotta ship one thingie).

"sometimes it is like that"
"if you can't finish with one additional task, simply do it in parallel"

"it's 6pm"

"I need"

"I used to be a technician myself..." (from a guy I once saw diagnosing a monitor that failed to turn on for 5 minutes... before walking over and pressing the power button on the front)