Random source code comment thread
category: general [glöplog]
Code:
/**
* For the brave souls who get this far: You are the chosen ones,
* the valiant knights of programming who toil away, without rest,
* fixing our most awful code. To you, true saviors, kings of men,
* I say this: never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down,
* never gonna run around and desert you. Never gonna make you cry,
* never gonna say goodbye. Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you.
*/
Code:
//
// Dear maintainer:
//
// Once you are done trying to 'optimize' this routine,
// and have realized what a terrible mistake that was,
// please increment the following counter as a warning
// to the next guy:
//
// total_hours_wasted_here = 16
//
Code:
/*
* You may think you know what the following code does.
* But you dont. Trust me.
* Fiddle with it, and youll spend many a sleepless
* night cursing the moment you thought youd be clever
* enough to "optimize" the code below.
* Now close this file and go play with something else.
*/
Code:
//This code sucks, you know it and I know it.
//Move on and call me an idiot later.
Code:
/* These magic numbers are f*cking stupid. */
/* Dear free software world, do you NOW see we are f*cking
things up?! This is insane! */
/* We will NOT put a f*cking timestamp in the header here. Every
time you put it back, I will come in and take it out again. */
# However, this only works if there are MULTIPLE checkboxes!
# The f*cking JS DOM *changes* based on one or multiple boxes!?!?!
# Damn damn damn I hate the JavaScript DOM so damn much!!!!!!
/* TODO: this is obviously not right ... this whole f*cking module
sucks anyway */
/* FIXME: please god, when will the hurting stop? Thus function is so
f*cking broken it's not even funny
Code:
/* Emits a 7-Hz tone for 10 seconds.
True story: 7 Hz is the resonant frequency of a
chicken's skull cavity. This was determined
empirically in Australia, where a new factory
generating 7-Hz tones was located too close to a
chicken ranch: When the factory started up, all the
chickens died.
Your PC may not be able to emit a 7-Hz tone. */
main()
{
sound(7);
delay(10000);
nosound();
}
Code:
int MyFunction()
{
// There once was a man named Dave
int Result = 0
// Whose code just wouldn't behave
MyObject *Ptr = new MyObject();
// He left to go to a meetin'
Result = Ptr->DoSomething();
// And left his memory a leakin'
return Result;
}
Code:
/* Project : XYZ (Please somebody shoot me!)
*
* File : $Id: defs.h,v 1.1 $
*
* Purpose : Create havoc rather than peace among many nations
*
* History : Back-ported changes that were not in CVS. Please somebody,
* shoot us and put us all out of our misery.
*/
Code:
// I am not responsible of this code.
// They made me write it, against my will.
Code:
// I know the line below is wrong, but it came that way from our IP vendor, and
// the driver won't work if you "fix" it. I've had to revert this change 4 times
// now. Leave it alone, or I will hunt you down and hurt you
if (r = 0) {
}
Code:
## fucking imap fucking sucks. what the FUCK kind of committee of
## dunces designed this shit.
## imap talks about 'unique ids' for messages, to be used for
## cross-session identification. great---just what sup needs! except
## it turns out the uids can be invalidated every time the
## 'uidvalidity' value changes on the server, and 'uidvalidity' can
## change without restriction. it can change any time you log in. it
## can change EVERY time you log in. of course the imap spec "strongly
## recommends" that it never change, but there's nothing to stop
## people from just setting it to the current timestamp, and in fact
## that's exactly what the one imap server i have at my disposal
## does. thus the so-called uids are absolutely useless and imap
## provides no cross-session way of uniquely identifying a
## message. but thanks for the "strong recommendation", guys!
## so right now i'm using the 'internal date' and the size of each
## message to uniquely identify it, and i scan over the entire mailbox
## each time i open it to map those things to message ids. that can be
## slow for large mailboxes, and we'll just have to hope that there
## are no collisions. ho ho! a perfectly reasonable solution!
## fuck you, imap committee. you managed to design something as shitty
## as mbox but goddamn THIRTY YEARS LATER.
...
## ok, this is FUCKING ANNOYING.
##
## what imap.rb likes to do is, if an exception occurs, catch it
## and re-raise it on the calling thread. seems reasonable. but
## what that REALLY means is that the only way to reasonably
## initialize imap is in its own thread, because otherwise, you
## will never be able to catch the exception it raises on the
## calling thread, and the backtrace will not make any sense at
## all, and you will waste HOURS of your life on this fucking
## problem.
##
## FUCK!!!!!!!!!
Code:
float Q_rsqrt( float number )
{
long i;
float x2, y;
const float threehalfs = 1.5F;
x2 = number * 0.5F;
y = number;
i = * ( long * ) &y; // evil floating point bit level hacking
i = 0x5f3759df - ( i >> 1 ); // what the fuck?
y = * ( float * ) &i;
y = y * ( threehalfs - ( x2 * y * y ) ); // 1st iteration
// y = y * ( threehalfs - ( x2 * y * y ) ); // 2nd iteration, this can be removed
#ifndef Q3_VM
#ifdef __linux__
assert( !isnan(y) ); // bk010122 - FPE?
#endif
#endif
return y;
}
Code:
// At this point, I'd like to take a moment to speak to you about the Adobe PSD format.
// PSD is not a good format. PSD is not even a bad format. Calling it such would be an
// insult to other bad formats, such as PCX or JPEG. No, PSD is an abysmal format. Having
// worked on this code for several weeks now, my hate for PSD has grown to a raging fire
// that burns with the fierce passion of a million suns.
// If there are two different ways of doing something, PSD will do both, in different
// places. It will then make up three more ways no sane human would think of, and do those
// too. PSD makes inconsistency an art form. Why, for instance, did it suddenly decide
// that *these* particular chunks should be aligned to four bytes, and that this alignement
// should *not* be included in the size? Other chunks in other places are either unaligned,
// or aligned with the alignment included in the size. Here, though, it is not included.
// Either one of these three behaviours would be fine. A sane format would pick one. PSD,
// of course, uses all three, and more.
// Trying to get data out of a PSD file is like trying to find something in the attic of
// your eccentric old uncle who died in a freak freshwater shark attack on his 58th
// birthday. That last detail may not be important for the purposes of the simile, but
// at this point I am spending a lot of time imagining amusing fates for the people
// responsible for this Rube Goldberg of a file format.
// Earlier, I tried to get a hold of the latest specs for the PSD file format. To do this,
// I had to apply to them for permission to apply to them to have them consider sending
// me this sacred tome. This would have involved faxing them a copy of some document or
// other, probably signed in blood. I can only imagine that they make this process so
// difficult because they are intensely ashamed of having created this abomination. I
// was naturally not gullible enough to go through with this procedure, but if I had done
// so, I would have printed out every single page of the spec, and set them all on fire.
// Were it within my power, I would gather every single copy of those specs, and launch
// them on a spaceship directly into the sun.
//
// PSD is not my favourite file format.
Code:
// I can't divide with zero, so I have to divide with something very similar
result = number / 0.00000000000001;
Code:
catch (Ex as Exception)
{
// oh crap, we should do something.
}
Code:
...
// get the units from the form
int numUnits = Integer.parseInt(request.getParameter("num_pieces")); // this break at random times
//price
float price = Float.parseFloat(request.getParameter("price")); // same as above
// Under certain conditions the following code blows up. I don't know those conditions.
float pricePerUnit = price / (float)numUnits;
...
Code:
!!!!!!!IF YOU CHANGE TABS TO SPACES, YOU WILL BE KILLED!!!!!!! *
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!DOING SO FUCKS THE BUILD PROCESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Code:
/**
* If you don't understand this code, you should be flipping burgers instead.
*/
Code:
/* Sun, you just can't beat me, you just can't. Stop trying,
* give up. I'm serious, I am going to kick the living shit
* out of you, game over, lights out.
*/
Code:
; very lame code, no time...
; ��copyright (c) 2k-1 by frank baumgartner (franky@scene.at) ��
; ow, ow! shiva did all the gfx, so why has only franky such a cool
; headline in this source file? Just because he wrote it? Bad franky!
(from void3 source)
btw. there's a good explanation of the Q_rsqrt routine on Chris Lomonts web site...
; ow, ow! shiva did all the gfx, so why has only franky such a cool
; headline in this source file? Just because he wrote it? Bad franky!
(from void3 source)
btw. there's a good explanation of the Q_rsqrt routine on Chris Lomonts web site...
Code:
/*
* Roses are red,
* Violets are blue,
* I read StackOverflow
* And so do you!
*/
Code:
label {
display:block; /* I swear I will kill the next developer who does this. */
margin-bottom:2px;
}
Quote:
//TODO: fix this later
Code:
### W00T!?!11 NO AFFECTED ROW. MUSST..DO...INSERT
Code:
### READ DATA FROM BUFFERTABLES
### now this can be called optimized code \o\ |o| /o/
Some from our old Z80 (assembler programmed) products:
(wtfigo is a subroutine)
Quote:
%secaddDE crednowins ; update what ever the fuck this is
Quote:
; *********
; * Shite *
; *********
Quote:
; ********************************************************
; * Fucking cunting shitting pissing third hold win rule *
; ********************************************************
Quote:
; ******************************
; * WTFIGO *
; * What the fuck is going on? *
; ******************************
(wtfigo is a subroutine)
Quote:
; * Machine Dump V2.0 *
; * After all the shit with Norway, this routine *
; * has been improved to make it more robust. Cunts! *
Quote:
; ***************************************************************
; * Process 3 - Dan's put the fucking air conditioning on again *
; ***************************************************************
Quote:
; This really should be calculated from PRICE_PLAY - BUT WHO GIVES A FUCKING SHIT
; Well, I should! Because we'veoksjdflasjdf;jdsgjfls'jf the machine works cuntkdflsnlfna;fnfuck
; so this is a fucking bodge.
Quote:
; what a tossa * a tossa is a useful comment
Quote:
; ************* yes more messy code, it evolved, if u think its shit then you fuckin re-write it ok?
Quote:
;;;; 5 = minuits x 10 (what the fuck is a minuit??! :-)
Quote:
MUSTKEYLEV EQU 10000 ; amount where you absolutely, positively have to kill every motherfucker in the room.
; errr.. or key off. one or the other.
Quote:
; * Accepts : No bullshit from anybody *
; * Returns : Nothing. *
Quote:
; * RIGHT!! No more fuckin stack over-fuckin-flow shit *
Quote:
; * Note that original comments stated that: *
; * - B is the win type *
; * - HL is description string *
; * but this is bollocks because both HL and B get fucked before *
; * anything is done with the above information! *
Quote:
; NOT FUCKING IMPORTANT: This equate doesnt set anything
Quote:
;W460 equ -6 ;(=250);shit one (they're all shit. the whole thing is shit. why did anyone do this shit?)
Quote:
; fuckinhoorah - do jacky pot. (Officially sick of this machine 3.43pm 12th dec 2000)
Quote:
; Oh my god, how fucking anal can I be commenting code like this?
; Especially as I had to tear myself away from surfing the internet
; all day long to do it! Well, just for one moment, did you ever
; consider that I was asked to produce a detailed list of electronic
; meters so that certain people could easily write down meter
; readings next to? No? Also I'm really sorry that I just couldn't
; manage to do it the obviously better way that you would have done it.
Quote:
; * Crappy shit bollocks
Quote:
; * I'm a fucking scuba
Code:
// obnoxious warning message to make sure this is noticedCode:
// DO NOT FORGET ME WHEN CHANGING THE OTHER ONE <3Code:
// okay, seems like we need to extrapolate.Code:
// ryg sez: hardgecodete matrix-mathematik, und dann auch noch
// ohne danebenzuschreiben, was genau da eigentlich in welchem
// koordinatensystem ausgerechnet werden soll? wtf?
lame comments ...
Quote:
Node *getParent() { return m_parent; } // Who's your daddy?
You can find a lot of funny stuff in here if you search for funny words. I also didn't know there are my old codes in there (when I searched for michael kargas). I would add some of my favorites but they are mostly in greek(lish) comments (if you search for malakas :).
@Xeron: I didn't know you did some z80 code (or I forget something). For which demo(s)?
@Xeron: I didn't know you did some z80 code (or I forget something). For which demo(s)?
From the PRICE_PLAY and "third hold win" stuff, I'm guessing that Xeron's code is from fruit machines.
At the Byte Back retro show a few months back I saw some of Jonathan Cauldwell's Speccy code, and I was amazed at how well-commented it was. He works on fruit machines in his day job too, so I figured that it must be standard practice for people coding Z80 for a living. I guess not... :-)
At the Byte Back retro show a few months back I saw some of Jonathan Cauldwell's Speccy code, and I was amazed at how well-commented it was. He works on fruit machines in his day job too, so I figured that it must be standard practice for people coding Z80 for a living. I guess not... :-)
// hier OpenGL flags abfragen und setzen (vgl GamesCD/hohoho)
Quote:
return returnValue; // return value
priceless :D
Quote:
// NSLog(@"%@ ask child to die", m_name);
[m_child childStop];
// NSLog(@"%@ waiting for child to die", m_name);
sleep(1);
[m_task terminate];
// NSLog(@"%@ kill child if not dead yet", m_name);
// drunk, fix later
Code:
/**
* //FIXME: aaaaahhhhhhhhrg parameter massacre!!!111!1
* @param int $lang_id
* @param String $org_name
* @param String $db_name
* @param String $path_name
* @param String $path_basic
* @param int $file_lang_one
* @param int $file_type
* @param bool $group_all
* @param Array $fileInfo
* @param int $priv_topic_id
* @param [array $misc]
* @return boolean
*/
...fixme line and $misc parameter inserted by myself ... it's a terrible terrible function
Code:
// This function is buggy and here for backwards compatibility only! Please DO NOT CALL IT!
void syndicate(void)
{
...
}
void reduce_latency(void)
{
...
syndicate();
...
}*sigh*...
// after scale or rot or move: pp rot hass
Archedeus:
Roses are red,
Violets are blue
I read steakoverflow
and so are you
Roses are red,
Violets are blue
I read steakoverflow
and so are you
Quote:
// TODO: Improve this HEAP OF SHIT!!!!
Quote:
// Init stuff
//This option will boost the ingame speed, but also use more memory for the buffer.
//Enable if phone paints slow, and has available memory.
//Enable if phone paints slow, and has available memory.
