pouët.net

your dissatisfaction comes from the presumption that fame is a worthy goal. it is not. it is not satisfying during the path there, it is not satisfying once you've reached the goal.

finding something you really love to do, on the other hand, is a whole different thing. finding it is hard, but the path is pleasant and once you get the result it would mean a whole new world opening up for you.

at that point, depending on what you chose, fame may be eventually part of your work, but then you will realize that it is just an instrument of transmitting your ideas.

as for being lazy - there is no such thing as laziness on a larger scale. a person can be lazy to get up from the couch to switch a channel, but even in this example it's all about motivation. if you can't force yourself to do demos, then either you are not interested in doing demos (and thus feel no natural motivation) or else you want to make them for reasons which don't really bring you any inner pleasure (and thus, only demotivate you).

so I would say that thinking over your motivations is the most important thing you should be doing right now - and be ready that this invisible spiritual activity may take quite some time.

"He who wishes to be rich in a day will be hanged in a year." - Leonardo da Vinci

Keep going Optimus, but please be less of an attention whore.

sounds like you did all this for the sake of making a few computer geeks love you. sounds stupid when you think about it, doesnt it. make demos cos you enjoy making them, not to win or become famous. then making those demos wont seem so painful.

as banksy said, "you dont go to a fancy restaurant and order a meal in order to take a shit" :)

Yeah, what nosfe said.

I'll add to it that in return for you effort to show up I'll give you a hug, for free!

Optimus - don't be jealous.
I was once jealous of those high end demos with massive 3D and effects and tried doing the same, and failed. but I realized my talent is not in 3D, but in 'alien' platforms. I was able to exploit devices such as GBA, NDS and WSC to make wonderful effects never seen on any device.

You? you may not be an awesome 3D developer yet, but check out the stuff you DID: http://pouet.net/prod.php?which=25515

Can we get some of those back? please? The scene is not about RELEASE-FEST but it's about quality.

if you code it they will come.

I hope I'm not wasting my time writing it and you will actually read it, Optimus.

back in the days, the demoscene was far more elitist than it is now and you became more of a "hero" when doing cool stuff. today.. whoever drinks the most wins. i like that.

there is still too much drama, whining and pointing fingers in the scene - which again leads me to think that people take stuff a bit too seriously, or just get a kick out of being an ass - or the most feasable thesis; they drink too little alcohol.

lets fix this at breakpoint :)

alcoholism is rather pathetic tho...

Very few do amazing stuff of the bat, it takes a couple off tries. Analyze what you do, and make sure you improve the stuff you didn't like about your last demo. It should provide you with the progression you'll need for a superduper mega demo that everybody loves. But as smash said, you need to enjoy making demos just for the heck of it.

stijn: apparently not many enough to make him believe in his own skills. besides, that was mostly years ago. and that's why he should get back to it, instead of starting threads on bbs or doing crap like free ti^H^Hbits.

Optimus: do you hear me? code some nice 256b, you have one week! :P

havoc. pathetic AND fun :)

xrs: I like how you´re just happy all the time! I surely have a beer (or more) together with you ;)

xrs, you pathetic downtempo musician :)

alcoholics are fun to watch when sober... :)

havoc: especially when they almost vomit over you on the way to the toilets, innit? :)

remind me to bring my wetsuit to bingen this year :P

bingen-barf-rhein

demosceeneeeee is fun & anastasis, and aaaarrrttttt... :)

just shut the holy fuck up, optimus.

ps is back? \o/

you need a vacation optimus

Exactly.

To Optimus: My scene involvement is almost two decades old now, and I went through the same feelings you did at one point. My advice: Just have fun and enjoy the scene. Enjoy the stt00pid random images; enjoy the music; enjoy the creativity of demos and other productions. Don't take it too seriously; that part of the scene (melodrama) was hell 20 years ago and I'm glad a lot of it has faded away (the parts that remain continue to give the scene its unique flavor, so that's good at least).

I was never a good programmer. My early efforts were crap; my later efforts were better, but nowhere near the greats. Only now, as I program on hardware typically used as doorstops do I think my skills are finally coming together. I still don't think I'll ever touch the work of the superstars. But guess what? I (and my group) found "success" and satisfaction in other ways. Hornet started the concept of large online scene archives, and organized some of the first online compos. We also published 150 issues of one of the first PC scene mags. We wrote articles, we attended parties, held a few tiny ones of our own, and generally had a blast. And the best part was meeting people from all over the world who -- gasp -- shared our fascination of forcing computers to do creative things they were never intended to do. Gamers are easy to find all over the world... sceners are not!

My point is this: How many Hornet productions are out there? Two that I'm proud of (3rd place at NAID'96, 1st place at Pilgrimage), a few others that I'm not, two party reports (custom viewer/music) I think turned out really well, and... that's it. We produced less demos/intros than you have fingers. But people at least know our name and hopefully don't think we're total assholes :-) and everybody has a good time.

Look at Inspired Chaos: He is well-known in the NA scene, and I don't think he's coded a single production or released any well-known music. But we all know him, because he's a great guy and funny, knows the scene well, and has a talent for turning any meeting space -- even some of the tiny hotel conference rooms we have to deal with at smaller parties -- into one with demoscene flavor (music, lighting, demoshows, etc.). In other words, you can be a "useful member of the scene" without releasing productions.

Cheer up! Life is too short to feel sorry for yourself. Re-read PulkoMandy's post. Download some prods. Have fun!

Great post Trixter! :)