pouët.net

Ok, I just understood. I took the demoscene too seriously. I failed producing as good demos as others. Now I am jealeous of you. And even those people who produce good demos also have a better life than me. It's double loose for me. Maybe it's in my nature to be lame or lazy or unmotivated or not very productive, not only in the demoscene but also real life.

The matter though is that I was very much self-devoted to the demoscene dream since my eighteen, the dream of making something really good and become famous about it (I did became famous but for the lame reasons) and it destroyed me. Of course now I don't need praise so much, but I wake up and something in my mind tells me that I should do a demo to give me meaning. Without it I don't have anything else to devote myself right now. I was thinking to change to a different community or activity (like from hobby to scientific research) but then I thought the motives would be the same and destroy me again. That I want it badly, a vain glory. At least if I did it right and without so much obsession..

I know now, it's only a bit hard to accept that some people were right and I was wrong. And I am sorry for blaming the demoscene. It's not it's fault or it's people.

When I have submitted this text I will just stop annoying with such texts here for a long time (and hopefully for ever, I would feel very stupid if after some months I come here and have another outbreak).

I was stupid.

fixed.

It's interesting what kind of phenomenons you encounter during your demoscene journey.
Here you have someone, who wants all his glory with a winnerdemo, but lacks the abilities (let's not get into details) to do it.
On the other hand, I know of someone who has all the abilities to make winnerdemos, but lacks the time and the greed.
And both are a part of the scene. There're so many kind of people here, you gotta live with that. This is no paradise where everyone has to be perfect.

Even if you don't have the skills or have some flaws, humility can still bring you far enough.

"If you want to see a picture of the future, imagine an Optimus writing on Pouët ... FOREVER."

@Optimus: I give you 10 days, that you can manage without starting a new thread.

Just stop whining and start coding! Fame and glory isn't everything, just be productive.

you're being a bit too optimistic there...

i thought everyone is in the scene for the bitches and bling?!

optimus: join a knitting club, its way more awesome then demomaking in every possible aspect.

I had something to say about that matter but seriously I don't want to give the impression that a scene portal such as pouet shall be considered an important source for personal growth :)
Anyhow I want to remind that some years ago we've been there, even with the exact same reasons if I remember right. What's the conclusion to draw from this?

What ps said. And do a ton of other things you think you won't like. You'll confirm that you don't like most of them, but you'll find some unexpectedly awesome thing in there, gain some new hobbies, and make friends with people you would have guessed you'd hate. You'll be on the road to having that life we keep telling you to get ;)

I know you man for so long... Don't blame demoscene for any problems occured at your real life... Demoscene is like a fairy tale... We just like to participate, contribute and watch other productions... Demomaking is in your blood and by refusing it, you just fuck yourself up :) And as far as I know from the CPC prods you made, your coding was brilliant, so nothing to be ashamed or jealous for... The only thing you were lacking was the design...

Well, think about what you have learnt and what you got.

In my own case, what I got from the demoscene:

1) Friends. About half my friends are demoscene related, one way or another. I knew my very best friend (Real_Ice^Elerium Core) directly from the demoscene. He is priceless for me. I've also known a lot of designers, great coders, illustration and graphic artists, musicians. Really nice people from who I got friendship and inspiration.

2) Knowlegde and practice. I learnt Basic from myself, the same as you. But what I know of C and Java has been thanks to demoscene (the same as you too). Also I started to learn graphic desing inspired by demosceners (trace, real_ice and others). All of that has been thanks to demoscene and now it is what I do as job. So, no matter if I ever did a good demo or not (I didn't), but the knowlegde I adquired is absolutely priceless for me right now.

3) Practice for working in groups. My very first projects in groups were demoscene projects. Learning to work in groups is another priceless thing.

4) Lots of inspiration. I'm not ever going to be as good coder as Iq in raytracing, Kb in... anything, as good as Jull in graphics, Trace in design, and so on... but I've been able to talk to them, to people that I admire for what they do, I've been adviced by them, they have teached me things, and I've been extremely inspired by all of them. Priceless too.

In the end, does it matter if you are able to do "the WOW demo" or not? No, it doesn't. The most important is all what you got trying to do it. And, in the end, it has been a really nice way, full of pigs in their origins.

OMG OPTIMUS YOU ARE OK AND EVERYONE FORGIVES YOU NOW STFU ALREADY.......

@ps: Go make a whooly scarf about it :)

OPTIMUS PLEASE DON'T GO
WE NEED YOU IN THE DEMOSCENE FOR VERY GOOD REASONS AND SO ON
SO PLEASE KEEP ON WRITING AND SO ON

ommagawd, optimus' apologies summoned the ps-demon tho! :)

Anyways, i don't think you have to make a good demo to be part of the demoscene. For a simple reason : i did not do a single real production there, except for lame 256bytes basic twister things, and a musicdisk featuring only covers of some other tunes. Not any creation was involved in the process, no actual design, and i've been there from 2004 or so.
But i don't ask questions, i just enjoy going to some scene events (so far, only french Amstrad meetings), talking with people there (most of them are quite interesting guy), and that's about all.

I think you're wrong on one point : the scene is not there for anyone to become famous, and you don't have to worry. Just enjoy being around, code some thins when you feel motivated, do other things when you don't. Don't take it seriously, just have fun, and everything will go better.

Most of us CPC user still think of you as the guy who maade Another Step Beyond, a really nice demo with good ideas inside, not a lame scroll-demo like some people still do. Sure, maybe it's not École Buissonnière, but you already did something i (and maybe some others) could not do.

Just let it sleep for some days/weeks/moth/years, and come back when you are bored of sthing else :)

famous famous... who cares about the future crew these days?!?!?!?

"Come back when you are bored" is perhaps the worst advice I have seen anyone give Optimus. ;)

ok.

Optimus: instead of wasting your energy on writing on bbs, use it to learn how to code proper 256b, or maybe 128b for the start. and don't think of it, just do it. you can say 1000 times 'i cannot do', but you won't know unless you'll try. code some ugly shit, then code again and again and again, until it'll be pretty enough and small enough to get more thumb ups than thumb downs. and post it on pouet. then you'll get your faith in yourself. making shit like last time isn't what you're capable of. you don't wanna be troll, do you? ;)

I think Optimus released a few rather nice 256b's already in fact

just code something and come to bp and show it to everyone, k.