First of all, I am good and don't be afraid of me in this thread PLEASE.
category: general [glöplog]
I just need to take the medicine because they finished and maybe in 2-3 days I will be in black mood..
It's hard to explain you my feelings. Nothing terrible has happened, life will continue tomorrow. Really nothing bad happened, like the real life's bad things. Really really.
Mmm,. I have for each piece of my sentence to try to explain you my perception in great detail and struggle. And if it would make any diferrence..
Some people say "They don't understand me". And that sounds stupid to most and they have a general idea about life and everything, common ideas and they can't see through the other side.
That sounds maybe offensive to the people because they might think that the individual says "I am in a higher state than you in mentality and that's why you don't understand me". While I don't want to see this sometimes I believe it (when I am angry). Forget this for I don't care. I want to be able to explain how I feel..
And it's about feeling. It's hard to explain it if the other individual doesn't feel the same.
As I move on I found new things that explain my problems and the objections of the other people about all these. I find about my OCD that explains why I am like this and why I even struggle to break your balls instead of taking it easy. I find that maybe the reason why people tell me to get a life is that they don't understand why I don't feel miserable as I am. And they don't understand I feel good with the things I am doing no matter if I am missing things other people find important. They don't understand and I didn't understand that there was never a problem!!!
I have gone through new ways and tried to explain them new things. That things with the perceptions were sounding like new pretendable theories and they got the same signal "That I still have a problem and they are here to 'help' me" (But they really put more bad ideas in my head!). But the OCD is a practical thing, a thing I think I could explain well. STILL THEY WOULD SAY THE SAME PREDICTABLE THINGS!!!
IS IT THAT THEY DON'T UNDERSTAND ME OR THAT THEY ARE ROBOTIC AUTOMATA REACTING WITH THE SAME PREDICTABLE ANSWERS!!! (And maybe I am doing the same thing too, e.g. I use the word Predictable too much and it's like an obsession for me, BUT I UNDERSTAND THE WHOLE SYSTEM OF DIFERRENT PERCEPTIONS NOT BEING ABLE TO UNDERSTAND EACH OTHER!!!)
OK. IMPORTANT. In all the discussion about life, my life, get a life, girls, the universe and everything:
--------------------------------------
THE "TRUTHS" (FACTS) THAT:
* Humans are similar
* Humans are diferrent so they are similar
* We must be balanced (Pan Metron Ariston)
* What I say is reaction, defenses I've build inside me to not do things.
* I am lazy
* I am stupid
* Life is girls, living well, blah, blah, DEFINE LIFE
* You must do many things in life DEFINE LIFE
* Doing a thing too much Focused (BUt focus or perfection is a part of my OCD I know now)
* LIFE DEFINITION usually are the PREDICTABLE things you here
* WHen I say PREDICTABLE. Imagine when your teacher told you to write an essay about a subject. In your mind POPED UP predictable answers you have HEARD FREQUENTLY. Answers that are popular to most people and are COMMON TRUTHS (SOCIAL TRUTHS). "TRUTHS".
* You have the feeling that you right PREDICTABLE things and all agree so you have the great feeling that they are right.
**** IMPORTANT IMPORTANT
**** I DON'T SAY THAT ALL THESE THINGS ARE WRONG!!! I DON'T DISAGREE..
But all these years, I heared these things again and again because most people repeat them because you hear them everywhere and you repeat them everywhere.
THOSE THINGS BECAME OBSESSIVE NEGATIVE THOUGHTS ABOUT ME HAVING NO LIFE IN THE PAST. THEY KILLED ME. I only know that OCD played a role too. Now I try to explain that to them and they don't understand. Now I know further things and I have new things to tell them, they say the same things. And some claim my OCD things is bullshit!!! AGHHH!!!
Stupid Ignorants.
p.s. And then I have a little fight in a taberna and someone say I am antisocial and only think of myself. With other predictable and SURFICIAL answers that doesn't connect, they don't know me in deep and of course I don't know them in deep because maybe all people might be robots, automata, and they say the same thing and don't think further. FUCK YOU ALL!!!
======
Maybe Nietzsche is closer to my understanding. Hopefully he is dead, so there is no chance I'd ever meet him and he'd ALSO dissapoint me, because I'd think I differ too much from him and he doesn't understand me too.
Also, Nietzsche my almost friend, I had an sarcastical answer to your "Whatever doesn't kill you, makes you stronger"
Whatever doesn't kill you, it might kill you later ;P
..hope you understand the irony, my Friedrich.
..totally dissapointed about everything, but stronger for a cause than ever (that may kill me in the darkness and that will be the end of my precious path where I shall finally rest into eternity)
It's hard to explain you my feelings. Nothing terrible has happened, life will continue tomorrow. Really nothing bad happened, like the real life's bad things. Really really.
Mmm,. I have for each piece of my sentence to try to explain you my perception in great detail and struggle. And if it would make any diferrence..
Some people say "They don't understand me". And that sounds stupid to most and they have a general idea about life and everything, common ideas and they can't see through the other side.
That sounds maybe offensive to the people because they might think that the individual says "I am in a higher state than you in mentality and that's why you don't understand me". While I don't want to see this sometimes I believe it (when I am angry). Forget this for I don't care. I want to be able to explain how I feel..
And it's about feeling. It's hard to explain it if the other individual doesn't feel the same.
As I move on I found new things that explain my problems and the objections of the other people about all these. I find about my OCD that explains why I am like this and why I even struggle to break your balls instead of taking it easy. I find that maybe the reason why people tell me to get a life is that they don't understand why I don't feel miserable as I am. And they don't understand I feel good with the things I am doing no matter if I am missing things other people find important. They don't understand and I didn't understand that there was never a problem!!!
I have gone through new ways and tried to explain them new things. That things with the perceptions were sounding like new pretendable theories and they got the same signal "That I still have a problem and they are here to 'help' me" (But they really put more bad ideas in my head!). But the OCD is a practical thing, a thing I think I could explain well. STILL THEY WOULD SAY THE SAME PREDICTABLE THINGS!!!
IS IT THAT THEY DON'T UNDERSTAND ME OR THAT THEY ARE ROBOTIC AUTOMATA REACTING WITH THE SAME PREDICTABLE ANSWERS!!! (And maybe I am doing the same thing too, e.g. I use the word Predictable too much and it's like an obsession for me, BUT I UNDERSTAND THE WHOLE SYSTEM OF DIFERRENT PERCEPTIONS NOT BEING ABLE TO UNDERSTAND EACH OTHER!!!)
OK. IMPORTANT. In all the discussion about life, my life, get a life, girls, the universe and everything:
--------------------------------------
THE "TRUTHS" (FACTS) THAT:
* Humans are similar
* Humans are diferrent so they are similar
* We must be balanced (Pan Metron Ariston)
* What I say is reaction, defenses I've build inside me to not do things.
* I am lazy
* I am stupid
* Life is girls, living well, blah, blah, DEFINE LIFE
* You must do many things in life DEFINE LIFE
* Doing a thing too much Focused (BUt focus or perfection is a part of my OCD I know now)
* LIFE DEFINITION usually are the PREDICTABLE things you here
* WHen I say PREDICTABLE. Imagine when your teacher told you to write an essay about a subject. In your mind POPED UP predictable answers you have HEARD FREQUENTLY. Answers that are popular to most people and are COMMON TRUTHS (SOCIAL TRUTHS). "TRUTHS".
* You have the feeling that you right PREDICTABLE things and all agree so you have the great feeling that they are right.
**** IMPORTANT IMPORTANT
**** I DON'T SAY THAT ALL THESE THINGS ARE WRONG!!! I DON'T DISAGREE..
But all these years, I heared these things again and again because most people repeat them because you hear them everywhere and you repeat them everywhere.
THOSE THINGS BECAME OBSESSIVE NEGATIVE THOUGHTS ABOUT ME HAVING NO LIFE IN THE PAST. THEY KILLED ME. I only know that OCD played a role too. Now I try to explain that to them and they don't understand. Now I know further things and I have new things to tell them, they say the same things. And some claim my OCD things is bullshit!!! AGHHH!!!
Stupid Ignorants.
p.s. And then I have a little fight in a taberna and someone say I am antisocial and only think of myself. With other predictable and SURFICIAL answers that doesn't connect, they don't know me in deep and of course I don't know them in deep because maybe all people might be robots, automata, and they say the same thing and don't think further. FUCK YOU ALL!!!
======
Maybe Nietzsche is closer to my understanding. Hopefully he is dead, so there is no chance I'd ever meet him and he'd ALSO dissapoint me, because I'd think I differ too much from him and he doesn't understand me too.
Also, Nietzsche my almost friend, I had an sarcastical answer to your "Whatever doesn't kill you, makes you stronger"
Whatever doesn't kill you, it might kill you later ;P
..hope you understand the irony, my Friedrich.
..totally dissapointed about everything, but stronger for a cause than ever (that may kill me in the darkness and that will be the end of my precious path where I shall finally rest into eternity)
it doesn't matter at all.
you are the weakness
If you knew my dileema, my fight inside myself, how wicked, how crazy, but how interesting. That interests makes me continue on a path that is hard. A cross to bare.
Three choices:
1) Continue the hard path, be patient. Maybe you reach into something good that deserves the whole struggle.
2) Suicide to rest. Or let yourself die by accident (because I can't suicide and will never suicide alone, only destiny might do it)
3) Forget your focus and became a natural ignorant person. Find fun in the common things most people do.
I will never be able to do 3. Most probably I will do 1 except if 2 will finish my path abruptly. And maybe I will be in serenity for eternity.
Or will the cycle start from the beginning?
Even Further by VNV Nation can't give me the power now.
p.s. Maybe it's the relapse and I don't know? DAMN!!!
Three choices:
1) Continue the hard path, be patient. Maybe you reach into something good that deserves the whole struggle.
2) Suicide to rest. Or let yourself die by accident (because I can't suicide and will never suicide alone, only destiny might do it)
3) Forget your focus and became a natural ignorant person. Find fun in the common things most people do.
I will never be able to do 3. Most probably I will do 1 except if 2 will finish my path abruptly. And maybe I will be in serenity for eternity.
Or will the cycle start from the beginning?
Even Further by VNV Nation can't give me the power now.
p.s. Maybe it's the relapse and I don't know? DAMN!!!
BUT IT"S THE FUCKING ENVIROMENT TOO> THAT FUCKINGG PERSON WHO SAID THE THINGS IN TIME!
FUCK.
p.s. Why not hating ignorants then? Why not hating these people? Why not hating everyone? Why not dreaming of the one that understands you..
FUCK.
p.s. Why not hating ignorants then? Why not hating these people? Why not hating everyone? Why not dreaming of the one that understands you..
And why writting these here?
Why trying at all???
welcome to pouët asylum pub!
uh... get a life.
I know how you are driven to write posts like that. I just drank several glases of something called "instant ice coffee". Loads of caffeine, fructose and sugar. I can hardly concentrate on anything right now and feel so hyped that I could run a few miles...
Needles to say that stuff went into the dumpster..
i wanted to play my favouritest game again.
optimus i dont read your posts. they are just too long.
what do they
want ?
to destroy all
life form that is not
their own
they believe
only they have
the right to
exist in the
universe
and all other
life forms are
inferior and
must be
exterminated.
want ?
to destroy all
life form that is not
their own
they believe
only they have
the right to
exist in the
universe
and all other
life forms are
inferior and
must be
exterminated.
anyone else besides me noticed the type of believe->belive in tbl-starstruck when they used that text? :D
anyone else besides me noticed the typo of type->typo in maalis post when he used that text? :D
@Optimus: When I read the topic, I thought you had an accident or sth. But in my opinion, only accident happened when you pressed submit button I guess :) Pouet ppl might be psychopaths but not psychologists for sure :D
prof: argh that always happens, got me there :)
jesus, you suck!
Quote:
Whatever doesn't kill you, it might kill you later
Good advice to smokers.
Well... Optimus, please, code more demos for gp2x instead of play Final Figth in tabernas. (Start using the fist is an usual automata answer, don't make that).
Seriously... you don't need autocompassion anymore.
Made a original an unpredictable demo about your vision of the world (without texts or poetry, because that would be predictable).
Remember Nietzsche words about the moral of the weakers.
optimus: you're one person out of 6.5 billion people on this planet alone. do you honestly think anyone gives a shit about your personal psychological issues? you're too small and insignificant; like a grain of sand or a turd from someone's ass-hole that has escaped from a local national sewage system and somehow found itself floating in the middle of the vast Atlantic ocean. you are an accident among 6.5 billion other identical accidents.
learn to meditate. reach inside yourself and become your own "friend". stop manically clinging to other people and trying to make them "understand who you are". it's a pointless mission as most people are too busy with their own little ant-like issues to be concerned with yours and will only want to know you if you fit EXACTLY their predefined parameters of "what" a person should be. No one really gives a shit about the "real you" and your unique variations and the sooner you realise that the sooner you can move on to genuine private personal discovery and the true nature of reality.
you are not what others perceive you to be, you are what _you know yourself to be_. in fact "you" do not really even exist but once you have a better "feel" for the true nature of reality that will automatically become apparent and make sense.
quit viewing yourself through the eyes of others and wasting time trying to explain to us who or what the fuck you are . BECAUSE WE DON'T GIVE A SHIT. No one does!
you fucking weakling!
learn to meditate. reach inside yourself and become your own "friend". stop manically clinging to other people and trying to make them "understand who you are". it's a pointless mission as most people are too busy with their own little ant-like issues to be concerned with yours and will only want to know you if you fit EXACTLY their predefined parameters of "what" a person should be. No one really gives a shit about the "real you" and your unique variations and the sooner you realise that the sooner you can move on to genuine private personal discovery and the true nature of reality.
you are not what others perceive you to be, you are what _you know yourself to be_. in fact "you" do not really even exist but once you have a better "feel" for the true nature of reality that will automatically become apparent and make sense.
quit viewing yourself through the eyes of others and wasting time trying to explain to us who or what the fuck you are . BECAUSE WE DON'T GIVE A SHIT. No one does!
you fucking weakling!
In my experience, psychology is pretty much a waste of time and good ideas. I have nothing against psychologists, in fact I have a lot of respect for the people. But the fact is, no-one and I mean NO-ONE will ever understand you or your problems.
Communication is such an abstract thing. People always wonder "is the colour red that I see the same as you see, or do you see green and just call it red"? Let me tell you, that is SO TRUE when it comes to the mind and communication. Don't let people label you. OCD? That's just another way of saying not as normal as me. Maybe you feel bad about it because it makes you feel less like everyone else and more like someone with a problem (which is either not allowed, or treated as a novelty, in the minds of mainstream society)? You feel there is something wrong with you and you want to define it. My advice : don't. Or at least don't go asking other people to label your problems. There's nothing wrong with you, you are you.
Communication is such an abstract thing. People always wonder "is the colour red that I see the same as you see, or do you see green and just call it red"? Let me tell you, that is SO TRUE when it comes to the mind and communication. Don't let people label you. OCD? That's just another way of saying not as normal as me. Maybe you feel bad about it because it makes you feel less like everyone else and more like someone with a problem (which is either not allowed, or treated as a novelty, in the minds of mainstream society)? You feel there is something wrong with you and you want to define it. My advice : don't. Or at least don't go asking other people to label your problems. There's nothing wrong with you, you are you.
@chameleon: this is the first ever reply i've read here that i consider to be useful, patient and positive. thanks, you made my day :D
@optimus: just follow the advice of chameleon! you are a human being and NO human being ever succeeded in fullfilling everyones expectations. be like you are, just tease the people ;) i do the same :D BUT: just try to grow up a little!
@optimus: just follow the advice of chameleon! you are a human being and NO human being ever succeeded in fullfilling everyones expectations. be like you are, just tease the people ;) i do the same :D BUT: just try to grow up a little!
optimus: if you can't suicide alone, you might consider joining the army
I understand that you're bored.
Stop sitting and being bored.
Go do something.
Stop sitting and being bored.
Go do something.
yeti: wasnt he already in the army? :D
Optimus: why dont you share all your feelings etc with a therapist rather than the pouet-people? a therapist can at least be some professional assistance. also. reading up on psychologic issues obviously goes along with the 'hmmm, i might have a bit of that too', but just remember one thing.. the only thing you suffer from, when you have that, is paranoia.
Optimus: why dont you share all your feelings etc with a therapist rather than the pouet-people? a therapist can at least be some professional assistance. also. reading up on psychologic issues obviously goes along with the 'hmmm, i might have a bit of that too', but just remember one thing.. the only thing you suffer from, when you have that, is paranoia.