pouët.net

< Havoc >:

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< ZanaGB >:---- Well. the main reason those entries exists, is that if some "unforseen" events happen to me, there's somewhat of a proof of what happened and who did it. And in the event i can manage to find a way to get out of there. Drop the bomb. And at least return some of the damage i've gotten. In the best case scenario, if i manage to leave and she has to do a monetary compensation. it means that i am even accuiring even more resources after my plan has been put in practice, something that would help me getting even further from her under the possibilities of thsoe happenings.

so you think she might kill you but you stay in that house anyway, and people should just understand that? (...)

< ringofyre >: Despite havoc's less than tactful phrasing, I've got to agree. (inorite - the End must be near!) I do think he maybe extrapolating a bit tho.

If you're in danger physically, mentally or even emotionally the time to go is now. Pack what you can and get out. No matter what 'home comforts' you're relying on from your mum for be it internet access, food, clothing and shelter - they aren't worth shit if you're going to come out of this damaged or even worse not come out the other side at all. It's just no worth it. I (like jenni) got the fuck out of Dodge (left home) when I was in my teens, I had to live rough sometimes but it was safer for me than the alternative. If you're in a similar situation then bailing really is the only solution and the longer you leave it the worse off you'll be.
If this is more about your mum "tightening her purse strings" and giving you a hard time because she doesn't like your lifestyle then there are a couple of issues here.
Firstly that isn't abuse (altho it may feel like it) - it's your mothers prerogative. It doesn't make her a good or caring parent but it is ultimately her choice. I say this keeping in mind that it wasn't you who posted originally calling it "abuse" but that you have titled a subsection of your tumblr "abuse journal".
Secondly - if you were staying in the hope that she might change or you guys might repair your relationship (in the way some women stay in abusive relationships because they believe they can "change" their partners) then I would say kudos to you but... clearly you can see that's not going to happen. In which case there may not be as desperate a need for you to leave, but again - the longer you stay, the worse it's going to be for you, your mum and your relationship.
Again I apologise for the airing of dirty laundry here - I sincerely hope Tomoalien had your permission to post and I'm sure the motivation was well meant otherwise I'd be having some stern words about privacy and respect for boundaries.
Whatever choices you make I can only offer my hopes that you come out this situation better off than you seem to be now. Good luck

Oh and Adok - fuck off.

A couple of quick links to orgs to get in touch with - I don't speak spanish and I've got no idea where you live.

http://www.caritas.es/index.aspx


http://www.arrelsfundacio.org/enquestes-del-ine/

http://www.bcn.cat/sensellar/ca/xquees.php.html

< TomoAlien >: Well, I've actually told her to run away numerous times, but she says that she needs medication and such if I remember correctly. I am also overwhelmed and pleasantly surprised by your responses.

I'll address a thing that regards me: Yes, I asked for her permission. I've shown her the thread before posting it, asking her if I should post it or not. I respect her privacy and have consulted the matter with her beforehand.

< ringofyre >:Cool. I'm a bit more comfortable having discussed zana's situation with all and sundry knowing that. No sarcasm intended.
Clearly she has a good friend looking out for her, it sounds like she's going to need that sooner rather than later.

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< TomoAlien >: but she says that she needs medication and such if I remember correctly.

If zana's relying on her mum to pay for the meds then yeah, I can see a problem. No short-term solution from me, I'm afraid - financial independence in the long term.

Thanks for your input TomoAlien - I have to be honest - I was a bit concerned that we were discussing this without zana's permission and that she had only responded because she felt the need to. You sound like a good friend.

< psenough >: only read this thread diagonally but one thing is clear:
if you live in a toxic environment, you need to move out of it. life is too short to be spent stressing and feeling like shit. look up for for abuse victim's centers around your area, they will know your best course of action to get your life back on track.

< aqu >: get seriously out of your mothers way or hack her life till it hurts, anyway, delete your blog entries about it. never read it again! I do not know you personally, however I mistrust ppl taking a bath in their selfmade depressions too often via facebook-www-like spotlight shit. ignoring and blocking her consistently is the best most effective way you can go, in my mind / after reading a little trough. would you be a local mate, you could live for free in our peacefull house, having your own place, till it's flatten. cheer up! end of line ;)

< Preacher >: There is a wonderful support forum for people whose families or loved ones have personality disorders here. Good luck! For what it's worth, I think that the "no communication" approach is by far the best course of action to take (and I am speaking for personal experience here), but it requires emotional strength that might be hard to come by when the situation is acute and you are relying on the very person who is abusive.

< ringofyre >: I think this thread has reached a foregone conclusion - you've received a lot of advice, some good some not so good and much of it similar in nature, what you do with it is really up to you.
Adok's ground his political axe, I've had a rant, all we really need now are some pony pics from knoeki. ;]

I had just a couple of quick points and I'm done. As far as I can see unless your mum is actually the doctor writing your prescriptions for HRT then go see a dr. get a script and get the meds yourself. Otherwise you're enabling your mum by allowing her to control that particular aspect of your life. If money is the problem borrow until you can get a job if you must - whatever, just break that hold she has over you and then tackle the next thing.

Try not to make mountains out of molehills. I'm sure sometimes it may seem as tho everything is insurmountable. So don't try and tackle everything all at once. Find one thing you can do once a day to improve your situation. Trust me - getting even the smallest thing done will give you a boost of achievement and self esteem and with that should come the confidence to approach bigger and more complex problems - like Jodie Foster's dad tells her in Contact - "Babysteps".
Again I wish you the best of luck. You'll probably surprise yourself as to how strong and resilient you really can be. And as has been seen here you have a lot of people who are prepared to help in whatever ways that they can - don't be afraid to call on that support.
My apologies for the pic, but well... it was time. ;)
[unrelated picture of a pony that i hope it's photoshopped.]

< _docd >: Adok: what is wrong with you fucking up Every thread you participate?

Zana: pack your bags and leave your "home".
If Not, your psych and soul will be broken

< █▄ █▄█ █ ▄█▀ >: Hi ZanaGB,

School or living at home wasn't my thing when I was 19.

I recommend doing the following while you're still at home:

• work on your portfolio website and resume.
  
• Open a savings and/or checking account.
  
• Apply for a line of credit. You can start with a few or no dollars. You don't even need a job.

Although these things helped me to move out on my own, it wasn't until I realized that I needed to change the situation for myself that things improved.

My parents were very over-protective and old fashioned. They too were screamers in Spanish. They thought I spent too much time on my computer. I failed at two different universities from playing net quake and boredom from classes. My parents did not want me to get a job so I could focus on my studies.

It sounds like your mom just wants you to finish school. She may be old fashioned or too stubborn to understand how times have changed.

You seem very skilled. You could aim for a computer related job like art production, retouching or web development/design. Print out your sprite sheets and logos into a physical binder for job interviews. You can also finish school and get it out of the way.

Do what you want and not what your mom wants. You are strong enough to do something about it. *YOU CAN ONLY HELP YOURSELF*.

P.S.
Not sure where in Spain you live, but this party seems up your alley: http://www.euskal.org Sounds like you need some R&R.

Please keep us updated on your progress. Own the situation.

Luis

by ZanaGB:
Uhh... Well i might need to find an affordrable webhost and learn some HTML+CSS to make something presentable X3 ( i could always go the WYSIWYG route but that's lazy and never looks right )

< AMcBain >:Hi there!

So I think this is about the right time for me to jump in. I don't have anything further to say or add on most of this. Advice has already been given for the large part, and I'll save you from more platitudes. (No offense to those who've already spoken.)

However,

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by ZanaGB:
Uhh... Well i might need to find an affordrable webhost and learn some HTML+CSS to make something presentable X3 ( i could always go the WYSIWYG route but that's lazy and never looks right )

Never easier! As a scener, I believe you are welcome to apply to Unterground, run by some wonderful sceners who stay on top of things and I think should be quite willing to help out.

I am also available for limited free hosting, if you don't mind it being run off of a personally managed server not in a datacenter somewhere. That said, I am still in process of setting things back up after an unexpected harddrive failure. (I promise this is not a common occurrence and I do keep backups.) So things are not completely in order yet, but mostly there, and I may be unable to respond quickly until after Revision. Lastly you don't seem crazy, unlike the last [imagine air quotes] "demoscener" I previously hosted, so that's a bonus. :) (I have an new unofficial policy after that last guy. :P) Contact info can be found through my one-man-demogroup's website via my Pouet profile if you need it.

On the other half of the quote, I also manage an IRC bot for #css on freenode (irc.freenode.net) which if nothing else is a great place to ask questions on confusing things you can't find answers to on the net without a quick bit of searching.

I would recommend starting with some schools, boning up on selectors, and learning about specificity. Avoid the w3schools.com website. That should cover the basics.

I am generally on in the evenings PST/PDT, which tends to correspond to before dawn European times, though I have been known to stay up late enough to overlap with their mornings. (Nobody ever said I keep a proper sleep schedule.) However there's a quite a few regulars who are helpful potentially available at other times. Ask away and someone will get back to you if you wait.

Remember, I'm pullin' for ya. We're all in this together.

she'd nag about me not being something society could use