Why do you think I am an attention seeker?
category: general [glöplog]
What's wrong with me? Am I in denial?
You need to get laid son!
By a woman!
Or a man in a panda-costume.
maybe you should put on a robe and wizard hat....
Or a panda in a man-costume.
Hello. I just observed the real reason why I suck at democoding. Or why I do not exactly suck at coding itself but in productivity, in results, in creating a good solid demo and in time. It is something I have noticed several times in the past but bypassed it for some reasons, never gave it enough attention. But now I had greater awareness of it and I was shocked.
I simply sit down to code something and it takes me 4+ times more to finish it than what it should originally take. Something that would take 1-2 hours and I could simply do more stuff or even do different real life stuff in between, it takes me a whole evening or day. Suddenly I realize how awfully time passes. I sit there thinking of the next line of code to write and I may loose focus or daydream or play with something on my fingers for several minutes. And then I wake up and realize it and try to focus but my mind goes elsewhere.
To not misunderstand me, I don't want necessarily with this thread to focus on disorders (although it would be interesting), in the past I never thought I would fit the profile of an ADD person as I know it (especially not ADHD, I am the silent guy) but now I have noticed that something really bad is playing and I'd be just wondering whether there are some techniques to keep focused on the democoding and not snap out of it or if someone else experiences something similar and how he gets along with it.
However, a possibility is that I am simply absent minded in parts of coding where I don't have the best interest. I've been noticing at which coding sessions I am loosing it and at which I am really focused and produce a lot (this happens once in ten times). I may be coding a new effect (I tried the freedir tunnel we were discussing) but at some trivial parts with not much interest or not something new yet a bit tricky to think and needs brain energy I may be absent minded and taking 3 hours for trivial stuff of half an hour and not realizing it. The rare cases where I am really feeling productive are when I am experimenting with some crazy idea (usually on optimization) I just thought and really want to try. But when I just have to connect parts of demos or code trivial stuff I spent a lot of time. Another side I perform ok is when I have to copy-paste code (trivial but I don't have to put mind in it, just automation), ok lame. And also usually I keep daydreaming about a demo easilly but it's hard for me to sit down and work on it. When I daydream my mind works, when I sit down to code I flat out.
Also, there is always the same feeling. Maybe I used to oppress myself to code demos even when I didn't felt ok with it. I feel some pressure inside me, almost like psychosomatic, something telling me "Oh, I am bored to just sit here and code". At this part, of course, as expected, I get a lot of those absent minded where I sit down to code and everything goes wrong, my attention shifts to other things and I loose it. Ok, maybe this is just a way for myself to say "Knock it off, I don't want to code a demo right now. Give me something else to focus on!". But what?
Well, I do this thing too, what kept my mother worrying. But even then I just feel I don't get enough of my potential. Sometimes, I also wonder whether music or no music or other conditions would be more suitable or distract me but I haven't experimented really. I think the matter is also a matter of will, like I don't really want to code at specific time but I want to finish the demo in time.
I don't think it works for me. Usually I don't even consider trying. Once I was watching the Xardavellas show (with the paranormal shit) while trying to code something at the same time (hmm,. crazy, haven't done this before) and I couldn't focus at all (although I was trying to understand what they were saying on the show, not just as background noise)
Didn't considered that much before. But yes I remember once that some electronic music without lyrics worked very well, while some greek hip hop really killed my focus :P
However, I should still investigate which parts of coding gets me in the mood and which processes slows me down.
Cool, it sometimes works.
In some other times I am too lazy or feel oppressed that I won't even start, I won't even touch the compiler for a second for days. But if I touch it then magic happens. Although I avoid it. Maybe I am just lazy or don't really want to code a demo. Is there a cure?
Good, but the main problem happens when I am offline. We are not talking about defocus because of Pouet here.
Yes actually. We are not talking about the times I write on pouet where you'd think I should be doing something else. I am only talking about the specific time periods I sit down to code, I haven't opened any browser or anything, and my mind gets distracted, I simple have a bland look, I am absent minded for a long time. I don't mean being distracted by games/internet. It's just like an 8 hour, where 2 hours are coding and 6 hours are looking around and doing nothing (a bit exagerated) but all those 8 hours are me and the compiler and nothing else.
I'd like to stay in this point for a while and think about it. I have made this thought some months ago: Is it possible that someone might obsessively wish to release demos but not understanding that it's not what he exactly wants to do? I mean, is it possible that I THINK that I want to do demos, but I don't really understand it? Or I am in denial concerning this realization?
One possible explanation is that in the past I found the demoscene and wanted to make something (and maybe not explicitly liking every aspect of it but only some parts) and the primary reasons must be a meaning in my life, or gaining some self-esteem I lacked by releasing a demo. This might have become an obsession, a habit, waking every day and dreaming of demos I would like to do and become famous (although it wasn't 100% this, I also liked demos), especially I might have needed that. Nowadays, the old habit has remained as a bad virus in my brain, but maybe I don't explicitly need to code demos but I can try other things too. Although it's hard to kill the old habit. And the main question is where should I go? I mean, maybe I am afraid to 1) accept it, 2) leave back the demoscene which was always a primary source of meaning and self-esteem for me.
So, maybe it's possible that it's not the primary think I would wish to do, yet I can't let it go. And I still have ideas, it's not the I am bored, but the initial motivation is degraded while only the habit that makes me think I have to do demos remained.
I can't explain it elsewhere. If I wish to make demos and had it naturally I would have done it. Of course the same explanation could be used for every other aspect. If I struggle with being social or have it bad with girls, then maybe it's because it doesn't come to me naturally, so it shouldn't something that I have to do. Someone would disagree with this. Although lately I have no motivation for anything. I have nowhere to go..
Hello. I just observed the real reason why I suck at democoding. Or why I do not exactly suck at coding itself but in productivity, in results, in creating a good solid demo and in time. It is something I have noticed several times in the past but bypassed it for some reasons, never gave it enough attention. But now I had greater awareness of it and I was shocked.
I simply sit down to code something and it takes me 4+ times more to finish it than what it should originally take. Something that would take 1-2 hours and I could simply do more stuff or even do different real life stuff in between, it takes me a whole evening or day. Suddenly I realize how awfully time passes. I sit there thinking of the next line of code to write and I may loose focus or daydream or play with something on my fingers for several minutes. And then I wake up and realize it and try to focus but my mind goes elsewhere.
To not misunderstand me, I don't want necessarily with this thread to focus on disorders (although it would be interesting), in the past I never thought I would fit the profile of an ADD person as I know it (especially not ADHD, I am the silent guy) but now I have noticed that something really bad is playing and I'd be just wondering whether there are some techniques to keep focused on the democoding and not snap out of it or if someone else experiences something similar and how he gets along with it.
However, a possibility is that I am simply absent minded in parts of coding where I don't have the best interest. I've been noticing at which coding sessions I am loosing it and at which I am really focused and produce a lot (this happens once in ten times). I may be coding a new effect (I tried the freedir tunnel we were discussing) but at some trivial parts with not much interest or not something new yet a bit tricky to think and needs brain energy I may be absent minded and taking 3 hours for trivial stuff of half an hour and not realizing it. The rare cases where I am really feeling productive are when I am experimenting with some crazy idea (usually on optimization) I just thought and really want to try. But when I just have to connect parts of demos or code trivial stuff I spent a lot of time. Another side I perform ok is when I have to copy-paste code (trivial but I don't have to put mind in it, just automation), ok lame. And also usually I keep daydreaming about a demo easilly but it's hard for me to sit down and work on it. When I daydream my mind works, when I sit down to code I flat out.
Also, there is always the same feeling. Maybe I used to oppress myself to code demos even when I didn't felt ok with it. I feel some pressure inside me, almost like psychosomatic, something telling me "Oh, I am bored to just sit here and code". At this part, of course, as expected, I get a lot of those absent minded where I sit down to code and everything goes wrong, my attention shifts to other things and I loose it. Ok, maybe this is just a way for myself to say "Knock it off, I don't want to code a demo right now. Give me something else to focus on!". But what?
Well, I do this thing too, what kept my mother worrying. But even then I just feel I don't get enough of my potential. Sometimes, I also wonder whether music or no music or other conditions would be more suitable or distract me but I haven't experimented really. I think the matter is also a matter of will, like I don't really want to code at specific time but I want to finish the demo in time.
I don't think it works for me. Usually I don't even consider trying. Once I was watching the Xardavellas show (with the paranormal shit) while trying to code something at the same time (hmm,. crazy, haven't done this before) and I couldn't focus at all (although I was trying to understand what they were saying on the show, not just as background noise)
Didn't considered that much before. But yes I remember once that some electronic music without lyrics worked very well, while some greek hip hop really killed my focus :P
However, I should still investigate which parts of coding gets me in the mood and which processes slows me down.
Cool, it sometimes works.
In some other times I am too lazy or feel oppressed that I won't even start, I won't even touch the compiler for a second for days. But if I touch it then magic happens. Although I avoid it. Maybe I am just lazy or don't really want to code a demo. Is there a cure?
Good, but the main problem happens when I am offline. We are not talking about defocus because of Pouet here.
Yes actually. We are not talking about the times I write on pouet where you'd think I should be doing something else. I am only talking about the specific time periods I sit down to code, I haven't opened any browser or anything, and my mind gets distracted, I simple have a bland look, I am absent minded for a long time. I don't mean being distracted by games/internet. It's just like an 8 hour, where 2 hours are coding and 6 hours are looking around and doing nothing (a bit exagerated) but all those 8 hours are me and the compiler and nothing else.
I'd like to stay in this point for a while and think about it. I have made this thought some months ago: Is it possible that someone might obsessively wish to release demos but not understanding that it's not what he exactly wants to do? I mean, is it possible that I THINK that I want to do demos, but I don't really understand it? Or I am in denial concerning this realization?
One possible explanation is that in the past I found the demoscene and wanted to make something (and maybe not explicitly liking every aspect of it but only some parts) and the primary reasons must be a meaning in my life, or gaining some self-esteem I lacked by releasing a demo. This might have become an obsession, a habit, waking every day and dreaming of demos I would like to do and become famous (although it wasn't 100% this, I also liked demos), especially I might have needed that. Nowadays, the old habit has remained as a bad virus in my brain, but maybe I don't explicitly need to code demos but I can try other things too. Although it's hard to kill the old habit. And the main question is where should I go? I mean, maybe I am afraid to 1) accept it, 2) leave back the demoscene which was always a primary source of meaning and self-esteem for me.
So, maybe it's possible that it's not the primary think I would wish to do, yet I can't let it go. And I still have ideas, it's not the I am bored, but the initial motivation is degraded while only the habit that makes me think I have to do demos remained.
I can't explain it elsewhere. If I wish to make demos and had it naturally I would have done it. Of course the same explanation could be used for every other aspect. If I struggle with being social or have it bad with girls, then maybe it's because it doesn't come to me naturally, so it shouldn't something that I have to do. Someone would disagree with this. Although lately I have no motivation for anything. I have nowhere to go..
Hello. I just observed the real reason why I suck at democoding. Or why I do not exactly suck at coding itself but in productivity, in results, in creating a good solid demo and in time. It is something I have noticed several times in the past but bypassed it for some reasons, never gave it enough attention. But now I had greater awareness of it and I was shocked.
I simply sit down to code something and it takes me 4+ times more to finish it than what it should originally take. Something that would take 1-2 hours and I could simply do more stuff or even do different real life stuff in between, it takes me a whole evening or day. Suddenly I realize how awfully time passes. I sit there thinking of the next line of code to write and I may loose focus or daydream or play with something on my fingers for several minutes. And then I wake up and realize it and try to focus but my mind goes elsewhere.
To not misunderstand me, I don't want necessarily with this thread to focus on disorders (although it would be interesting), in the past I never thought I would fit the profile of an ADD person as I know it (especially not ADHD, I am the silent guy) but now I have noticed that something really bad is playing and I'd be just wondering whether there are some techniques to keep focused on the democoding and not snap out of it or if someone else experiences something similar and how he gets along with it.
However, a possibility is that I am simply absent minded in parts of coding where I don't have the best interest. I've been noticing at which coding sessions I am loosing it and at which I am really focused and produce a lot (this happens once in ten times). I may be coding a new effect (I tried the freedir tunnel we were discussing) but at some trivial parts with not much interest or not something new yet a bit tricky to think and needs brain energy I may be absent minded and taking 3 hours for trivial stuff of half an hour and not realizing it. The rare cases where I am really feeling productive are when I am experimenting with some crazy idea (usually on optimization) I just thought and really want to try. But when I just have to connect parts of demos or code trivial stuff I spent a lot of time. Another side I perform ok is when I have to copy-paste code (trivial but I don't have to put mind in it, just automation), ok lame. And also usually I keep daydreaming about a demo easilly but it's hard for me to sit down and work on it. When I daydream my mind works, when I sit down to code I flat out.
Also, there is always the same feeling. Maybe I used to oppress myself to code demos even when I didn't felt ok with it. I feel some pressure inside me, almost like psychosomatic, something telling me "Oh, I am bored to just sit here and code". At this part, of course, as expected, I get a lot of those absent minded where I sit down to code and everything goes wrong, my attention shifts to other things and I loose it. Ok, maybe this is just a way for myself to say "Knock it off, I don't want to code a demo right now. Give me something else to focus on!". But what?
Well, I do this thing too, what kept my mother worrying. But even then I just feel I don't get enough of my potential. Sometimes, I also wonder whether music or no music or other conditions would be more suitable or distract me but I haven't experimented really. I think the matter is also a matter of will, like I don't really want to code at specific time but I want to finish the demo in time.
I don't think it works for me. Usually I don't even consider trying. Once I was watching the Xardavellas show (with the paranormal shit) while trying to code something at the same time (hmm,. crazy, haven't done this before) and I couldn't focus at all (although I was trying to understand what they were saying on the show, not just as background noise)
Didn't considered that much before. But yes I remember once that some electronic music without lyrics worked very well, while some greek hip hop really killed my focus :P
However, I should still investigate which parts of coding gets me in the mood and which processes slows me down.
Cool, it sometimes works.
In some other times I am too lazy or feel oppressed that I won't even start, I won't even touch the compiler for a second for days. But if I touch it then magic happens. Although I avoid it. Maybe I am just lazy or don't really want to code a demo. Is there a cure?
Good, but the main problem happens when I am offline. We are not talking about defocus because of Pouet here.
Yes actually. We are not talking about the times I write on pouet where you'd think I should be doing something else. I am only talking about the specific time periods I sit down to code, I haven't opened any browser or anything, and my mind gets distracted, I simple have a bland look, I am absent minded for a long time. I don't mean being distracted by games/internet. It's just like an 8 hour, where 2 hours are coding and 6 hours are looking around and doing nothing (a bit exagerated) but all those 8 hours are me and the compiler and nothing else.
I'd like to stay in this point for a while and think about it. I have made this thought some months ago: Is it possible that someone might obsessively wish to release demos but not understanding that it's not what he exactly wants to do? I mean, is it possible that I THINK that I want to do demos, but I don't really understand it? Or I am in denial concerning this realization?
One possible explanation is that in the past I found the demoscene and wanted to make something (and maybe not explicitly liking every aspect of it but only some parts) and the primary reasons must be a meaning in my life, or gaining some self-esteem I lacked by releasing a demo. This might have become an obsession, a habit, waking every day and dreaming of demos I would like to do and become famous (although it wasn't 100% this, I also liked demos), especially I might have needed that. Nowadays, the old habit has remained as a bad virus in my brain, but maybe I don't explicitly need to code demos but I can try other things too. Although it's hard to kill the old habit. And the main question is where should I go? I mean, maybe I am afraid to 1) accept it, 2) leave back the demoscene which was always a primary source of meaning and self-esteem for me.
So, maybe it's possible that it's not the primary think I would wish to do, yet I can't let it go. And I still have ideas, it's not the I am bored, but the initial motivation is degraded while only the habit that makes me think I have to do demos remained.
I can't explain it elsewhere. If I wish to make demos and had it naturally I would have done it. Of course the same explanation could be used for every other aspect. If I struggle with being social or have it bad with girls, then maybe it's because it doesn't come to me naturally, so it shouldn't something that I have to do. Someone would disagree with this. Although lately I have no motivation for anything. I have nowhere to go..
Hello. I just observed the real reason why I suck at democoding. Or why I do not exactly suck at coding itself but in productivity, in results, in creating a good solid demo and in time. It is something I have noticed several times in the past but bypassed it for some reasons, never gave it enough attention. But now I had greater awareness of it and I was shocked.
I simply sit down to code something and it takes me 4+ times more to finish it than what it should originally take. Something that would take 1-2 hours and I could simply do more stuff or even do different real life stuff in between, it takes me a whole evening or day. Suddenly I realize how awfully time passes. I sit there thinking of the next line of code to write and I may loose focus or daydream or play with something on my fingers for several minutes. And then I wake up and realize it and try to focus but my mind goes elsewhere.
To not misunderstand me, I don't want necessarily with this thread to focus on disorders (although it would be interesting), in the past I never thought I would fit the profile of an ADD person as I know it (especially not ADHD, I am the silent guy) but now I have noticed that something really bad is playing and I'd be just wondering whether there are some techniques to keep focused on the democoding and not snap out of it or if someone else experiences something similar and how he gets along with it.
However, a possibility is that I am simply absent minded in parts of coding where I don't have the best interest. I've been noticing at which coding sessions I am loosing it and at which I am really focused and produce a lot (this happens once in ten times). I may be coding a new effect (I tried the freedir tunnel we were discussing) but at some trivial parts with not much interest or not something new yet a bit tricky to think and needs brain energy I may be absent minded and taking 3 hours for trivial stuff of half an hour and not realizing it. The rare cases where I am really feeling productive are when I am experimenting with some crazy idea (usually on optimization) I just thought and really want to try. But when I just have to connect parts of demos or code trivial stuff I spent a lot of time. Another side I perform ok is when I have to copy-paste code (trivial but I don't have to put mind in it, just automation), ok lame. And also usually I keep daydreaming about a demo easilly but it's hard for me to sit down and work on it. When I daydream my mind works, when I sit down to code I flat out.
Also, there is always the same feeling. Maybe I used to oppress myself to code demos even when I didn't felt ok with it. I feel some pressure inside me, almost like psychosomatic, something telling me "Oh, I am bored to just sit here and code". At this part, of course, as expected, I get a lot of those absent minded where I sit down to code and everything goes wrong, my attention shifts to other things and I loose it. Ok, maybe this is just a way for myself to say "Knock it off, I don't want to code a demo right now. Give me something else to focus on!". But what?
Well, I do this thing too, what kept my mother worrying. But even then I just feel I don't get enough of my potential. Sometimes, I also wonder whether music or no music or other conditions would be more suitable or distract me but I haven't experimented really. I think the matter is also a matter of will, like I don't really want to code at specific time but I want to finish the demo in time.
I don't think it works for me. Usually I don't even consider trying. Once I was watching the Xardavellas show (with the paranormal shit) while trying to code something at the same time (hmm,. crazy, haven't done this before) and I couldn't focus at all (although I was trying to understand what they were saying on the show, not just as background noise)
Didn't considered that much before. But yes I remember once that some electronic music without lyrics worked very well, while some greek hip hop really killed my focus :P
However, I should still investigate which parts of coding gets me in the mood and which processes slows me down.
Cool, it sometimes works.
In some other times I am too lazy or feel oppressed that I won't even start, I won't even touch the compiler for a second for days. But if I touch it then magic happens. Although I avoid it. Maybe I am just lazy or don't really want to code a demo. Is there a cure?
Good, but the main problem happens when I am offline. We are not talking about defocus because of Pouet here.
Yes actually. We are not talking about the times I write on pouet where you'd think I should be doing something else. I am only talking about the specific time periods I sit down to code, I haven't opened any browser or anything, and my mind gets distracted, I simple have a bland look, I am absent minded for a long time. I don't mean being distracted by games/internet. It's just like an 8 hour, where 2 hours are coding and 6 hours are looking around and doing nothing (a bit exagerated) but all those 8 hours are me and the compiler and nothing else.
I'd like to stay in this point for a while and think about it. I have made this thought some months ago: Is it possible that someone might obsessively wish to release demos but not understanding that it's not what he exactly wants to do? I mean, is it possible that I THINK that I want to do demos, but I don't really understand it? Or I am in denial concerning this realization?
One possible explanation is that in the past I found the demoscene and wanted to make something (and maybe not explicitly liking every aspect of it but only some parts) and the primary reasons must be a meaning in my life, or gaining some self-esteem I lacked by releasing a demo. This might have become an obsession, a habit, waking every day and dreaming of demos I would like to do and become famous (although it wasn't 100% this, I also liked demos), especially I might have needed that. Nowadays, the old habit has remained as a bad virus in my brain, but maybe I don't explicitly need to code demos but I can try other things too. Although it's hard to kill the old habit. And the main question is where should I go? I mean, maybe I am afraid to 1) accept it, 2) leave back the demoscene which was always a primary source of meaning and self-esteem for me.
So, maybe it's possible that it's not the primary think I would wish to do, yet I can't let it go. And I still have ideas, it's not the I am bored, but the initial motivation is degraded while only the habit that makes me think I have to do demos remained.
I can't explain it elsewhere. If I wish to make demos and had it naturally I would have done it. Of course the same explanation could be used for every other aspect. If I struggle with being social or have it bad with girls, then maybe it's because it doesn't come to me naturally, so it shouldn't something that I have to do. Someone would disagree with this. Although lately I have no motivation for anything. I have nowhere to go..
Hello. I just observed the real reason why I suck at democoding. Or why I do not exactly suck at coding itself but in productivity, in results, in creating a good solid demo and in time. It is something I have noticed several times in the past but bypassed it for some reasons, never gave it enough attention. But now I had greater awareness of it and I was shocked.
I simply sit down to code something and it takes me 4+ times more to finish it than what it should originally take. Something that would take 1-2 hours and I could simply do more stuff or even do different real life stuff in between, it takes me a whole evening or day. Suddenly I realize how awfully time passes. I sit there thinking of the next line of code to write and I may loose focus or daydream or play with something on my fingers for several minutes. And then I wake up and realize it and try to focus but my mind goes elsewhere.
To not misunderstand me, I don't want necessarily with this thread to focus on disorders (although it would be interesting), in the past I never thought I would fit the profile of an ADD person as I know it (especially not ADHD, I am the silent guy) but now I have noticed that something really bad is playing and I'd be just wondering whether there are some techniques to keep focused on the democoding and not snap out of it or if someone else experiences something similar and how he gets along with it.
However, a possibility is that I am simply absent minded in parts of coding where I don't have the best interest. I've been noticing at which coding sessions I am loosing it and at which I am really focused and produce a lot (this happens once in ten times). I may be coding a new effect (I tried the freedir tunnel we were discussing) but at some trivial parts with not much interest or not something new yet a bit tricky to think and needs brain energy I may be absent minded and taking 3 hours for trivial stuff of half an hour and not realizing it. The rare cases where I am really feeling productive are when I am experimenting with some crazy idea (usually on optimization) I just thought and really want to try. But when I just have to connect parts of demos or code trivial stuff I spent a lot of time. Another side I perform ok is when I have to copy-paste code (trivial but I don't have to put mind in it, just automation), ok lame. And also usually I keep daydreaming about a demo easilly but it's hard for me to sit down and work on it. When I daydream my mind works, when I sit down to code I flat out.
Also, there is always the same feeling. Maybe I used to oppress myself to code demos even when I didn't felt ok with it. I feel some pressure inside me, almost like psychosomatic, something telling me "Oh, I am bored to just sit here and code". At this part, of course, as expected, I get a lot of those absent minded where I sit down to code and everything goes wrong, my attention shifts to other things and I loose it. Ok, maybe this is just a way for myself to say "Knock it off, I don't want to code a demo right now. Give me something else to focus on!". But what?
Well, I do this thing too, what kept my mother worrying. But even then I just feel I don't get enough of my potential. Sometimes, I also wonder whether music or no music or other conditions would be more suitable or distract me but I haven't experimented really. I think the matter is also a matter of will, like I don't really want to code at specific time but I want to finish the demo in time.
I don't think it works for me. Usually I don't even consider trying. Once I was watching the Xardavellas show (with the paranormal shit) while trying to code something at the same time (hmm,. crazy, haven't done this before) and I couldn't focus at all (although I was trying to understand what they were saying on the show, not just as background noise)
Didn't considered that much before. But yes I remember once that some electronic music without lyrics worked very well, while some greek hip hop really killed my focus :P
However, I should still investigate which parts of coding gets me in the mood and which processes slows me down.
Cool, it sometimes works.
In some other times I am too lazy or feel oppressed that I won't even start, I won't even touch the compiler for a second for days. But if I touch it then magic happens. Although I avoid it. Maybe I am just lazy or don't really want to code a demo. Is there a cure?
Good, but the main problem happens when I am offline. We are not talking about defocus because of Pouet here.
Yes actually. We are not talking about the times I write on pouet where you'd think I should be doing something else. I am only talking about the specific time periods I sit down to code, I haven't opened any browser or anything, and my mind gets distracted, I simple have a bland look, I am absent minded for a long time. I don't mean being distracted by games/internet. It's just like an 8 hour, where 2 hours are coding and 6 hours are looking around and doing nothing (a bit exagerated) but all those 8 hours are me and the compiler and nothing else.
I'd like to stay in this point for a while and think about it. I have made this thought some months ago: Is it possible that someone might obsessively wish to release demos but not understanding that it's not what he exactly wants to do? I mean, is it possible that I THINK that I want to do demos, but I don't really understand it? Or I am in denial concerning this realization?
One possible explanation is that in the past I found the demoscene and wanted to make something (and maybe not explicitly liking every aspect of it but only some parts) and the primary reasons must be a meaning in my life, or gaining some self-esteem I lacked by releasing a demo. This might have become an obsession, a habit, waking every day and dreaming of demos I would like to do and become famous (although it wasn't 100% this, I also liked demos), especially I might have needed that. Nowadays, the old habit has remained as a bad virus in my brain, but maybe I don't explicitly need to code demos but I can try other things too. Although it's hard to kill the old habit. And the main question is where should I go? I mean, maybe I am afraid to 1) accept it, 2) leave back the demoscene which was always a primary source of meaning and self-esteem for me.
So, maybe it's possible that it's not the primary think I would wish to do, yet I can't let it go. And I still have ideas, it's not the I am bored, but the initial motivation is degraded while only the habit that makes me think I have to do demos remained.
I can't explain it elsewhere. If I wish to make demos and had it naturally I would have done it. Of course the same explanation could be used for every other aspect. If I struggle with being social or have it bad with girls, then maybe it's because it doesn't come to me naturally, so it shouldn't something that I have to do. Someone would disagree with this. Although lately I have no motivation for anything. I have nowhere to go..
Hello. I just observed the real reason why I suck at democoding. Or why I do not exactly suck at coding itself but in productivity, in results, in creating a good solid demo and in time. It is something I have noticed several times in the past but bypassed it for some reasons, never gave it enough attention. But now I had greater awareness of it and I was shocked.
I simply sit down to code something and it takes me 4+ times more to finish it than what it should originally take. Something that would take 1-2 hours and I could simply do more stuff or even do different real life stuff in between, it takes me a whole evening or day. Suddenly I realize how awfully time passes. I sit there thinking of the next line of code to write and I may loose focus or daydream or play with something on my fingers for several minutes. And then I wake up and realize it and try to focus but my mind goes elsewhere.
To not misunderstand me, I don't want necessarily with this thread to focus on disorders (although it would be interesting), in the past I never thought I would fit the profile of an ADD person as I know it (especially not ADHD, I am the silent guy) but now I have noticed that something really bad is playing and I'd be just wondering whether there are some techniques to keep focused on the democoding and not snap out of it or if someone else experiences something similar and how he gets along with it.
However, a possibility is that I am simply absent minded in parts of coding where I don't have the best interest. I've been noticing at which coding sessions I am loosing it and at which I am really focused and produce a lot (this happens once in ten times). I may be coding a new effect (I tried the freedir tunnel we were discussing) but at some trivial parts with not much interest or not something new yet a bit tricky to think and needs brain energy I may be absent minded and taking 3 hours for trivial stuff of half an hour and not realizing it. The rare cases where I am really feeling productive are when I am experimenting with some crazy idea (usually on optimization) I just thought and really want to try. But when I just have to connect parts of demos or code trivial stuff I spent a lot of time. Another side I perform ok is when I have to copy-paste code (trivial but I don't have to put mind in it, just automation), ok lame. And also usually I keep daydreaming about a demo easilly but it's hard for me to sit down and work on it. When I daydream my mind works, when I sit down to code I flat out.
Also, there is always the same feeling. Maybe I used to oppress myself to code demos even when I didn't felt ok with it. I feel some pressure inside me, almost like psychosomatic, something telling me "Oh, I am bored to just sit here and code". At this part, of course, as expected, I get a lot of those absent minded where I sit down to code and everything goes wrong, my attention shifts to other things and I loose it. Ok, maybe this is just a way for myself to say "Knock it off, I don't want to code a demo right now. Give me something else to focus on!". But what?
Well, I do this thing too, what kept my mother worrying. But even then I just feel I don't get enough of my potential. Sometimes, I also wonder whether music or no music or other conditions would be more suitable or distract me but I haven't experimented really. I think the matter is also a matter of will, like I don't really want to code at specific time but I want to finish the demo in time.
I don't think it works for me. Usually I don't even consider trying. Once I was watching the Xardavellas show (with the paranormal shit) while trying to code something at the same time (hmm,. crazy, haven't done this before) and I couldn't focus at all (although I was trying to understand what they were saying on the show, not just as background noise)
Didn't considered that much before. But yes I remember once that some electronic music without lyrics worked very well, while some greek hip hop really killed my focus :P
However, I should still investigate which parts of coding gets me in the mood and which processes slows me down.
Cool, it sometimes works.
In some other times I am too lazy or feel oppressed that I won't even start, I won't even touch the compiler for a second for days. But if I touch it then magic happens. Although I avoid it. Maybe I am just lazy or don't really want to code a demo. Is there a cure?
Good, but the main problem happens when I am offline. We are not talking about defocus because of Pouet here.
Yes actually. We are not talking about the times I write on pouet where you'd think I should be doing something else. I am only talking about the specific time periods I sit down to code, I haven't opened any browser or anything, and my mind gets distracted, I simple have a bland look, I am absent minded for a long time. I don't mean being distracted by games/internet. It's just like an 8 hour, where 2 hours are coding and 6 hours are looking around and doing nothing (a bit exagerated) but all those 8 hours are me and the compiler and nothing else.
I'd like to stay in this point for a while and think about it. I have made this thought some months ago: Is it possible that someone might obsessively wish to release demos but not understanding that it's not what he exactly wants to do? I mean, is it possible that I THINK that I want to do demos, but I don't really understand it? Or I am in denial concerning this realization?
One possible explanation is that in the past I found the demoscene and wanted to make something (and maybe not explicitly liking every aspect of it but only some parts) and the primary reasons must be a meaning in my life, or gaining some self-esteem I lacked by releasing a demo. This might have become an obsession, a habit, waking every day and dreaming of demos I would like to do and become famous (although it wasn't 100% this, I also liked demos), especially I might have needed that. Nowadays, the old habit has remained as a bad virus in my brain, but maybe I don't explicitly need to code demos but I can try other things too. Although it's hard to kill the old habit. And the main question is where should I go? I mean, maybe I am afraid to 1) accept it, 2) leave back the demoscene which was always a primary source of meaning and self-esteem for me.
So, maybe it's possible that it's not the primary think I would wish to do, yet I can't let it go. And I still have ideas, it's not the I am bored, but the initial motivation is degraded while only the habit that makes me think I have to do demos remained.
I can't explain it elsewhere. If I wish to make demos and had it naturally I would have done it. Of course the same explanation could be used for every other aspect. If I struggle with being social or have it bad with girls, then maybe it's because it doesn't come to me naturally, so it shouldn't something that I have to do. Someone would disagree with this. Although lately I have no motivation for anything. I have nowhere to go..
Hello. I just observed the real reason why I suck at democoding. Or why I do not exactly suck at coding itself but in productivity, in results, in creating a good solid demo and in time. It is something I have noticed several times in the past but bypassed it for some reasons, never gave it enough attention. But now I had greater awareness of it and I was shocked.
I simply sit down to code something and it takes me 4+ times more to finish it than what it should originally take. Something that would take 1-2 hours and I could simply do more stuff or even do different real life stuff in between, it takes me a whole evening or day. Suddenly I realize how awfully time passes. I sit there thinking of the next line of code to write and I may loose focus or daydream or play with something on my fingers for several minutes. And then I wake up and realize it and try to focus but my mind goes elsewhere.
To not misunderstand me, I don't want necessarily with this thread to focus on disorders (although it would be interesting), in the past I never thought I would fit the profile of an ADD person as I know it (especially not ADHD, I am the silent guy) but now I have noticed that something really bad is playing and I'd be just wondering whether there are some techniques to keep focused on the democoding and not snap out of it or if someone else experiences something similar and how he gets along with it.
However, a possibility is that I am simply absent minded in parts of coding where I don't have the best interest. I've been noticing at which coding sessions I am loosing it and at which I am really focused and produce a lot (this happens once in ten times). I may be coding a new effect (I tried the freedir tunnel we were discussing) but at some trivial parts with not much interest or not something new yet a bit tricky to think and needs brain energy I may be absent minded and taking 3 hours for trivial stuff of half an hour and not realizing it. The rare cases where I am really feeling productive are when I am experimenting with some crazy idea (usually on optimization) I just thought and really want to try. But when I just have to connect parts of demos or code trivial stuff I spent a lot of time. Another side I perform ok is when I have to copy-paste code (trivial but I don't have to put mind in it, just automation), ok lame. And also usually I keep daydreaming about a demo easilly but it's hard for me to sit down and work on it. When I daydream my mind works, when I sit down to code I flat out.
Also, there is always the same feeling. Maybe I used to oppress myself to code demos even when I didn't felt ok with it. I feel some pressure inside me, almost like psychosomatic, something telling me "Oh, I am bored to just sit here and code". At this part, of course, as expected, I get a lot of those absent minded where I sit down to code and everything goes wrong, my attention shifts to other things and I loose it. Ok, maybe this is just a way for myself to say "Knock it off, I don't want to code a demo right now. Give me something else to focus on!". But what?
Well, I do this thing too, what kept my mother worrying. But even then I just feel I don't get enough of my potential. Sometimes, I also wonder whether music or no music or other conditions would be more suitable or distract me but I haven't experimented really. I think the matter is also a matter of will, like I don't really want to code at specific time but I want to finish the demo in time.
I don't think it works for me. Usually I don't even consider trying. Once I was watching the Xardavellas show (with the paranormal shit) while trying to code something at the same time (hmm,. crazy, haven't done this before) and I couldn't focus at all (although I was trying to understand what they were saying on the show, not just as background noise)
Didn't considered that much before. But yes I remember once that some electronic music without lyrics worked very well, while some greek hip hop really killed my focus :P
However, I should still investigate which parts of coding gets me in the mood and which processes slows me down.
Cool, it sometimes works.
In some other times I am too lazy or feel oppressed that I won't even start, I won't even touch the compiler for a second for days. But if I touch it then magic happens. Although I avoid it. Maybe I am just lazy or don't really want to code a demo. Is there a cure?
Good, but the main problem happens when I am offline. We are not talking about defocus because of Pouet here.
Yes actually. We are not talking about the times I write on pouet where you'd think I should be doing something else. I am only talking about the specific time periods I sit down to code, I haven't opened any browser or anything, and my mind gets distracted, I simple have a bland look, I am absent minded for a long time. I don't mean being distracted by games/internet. It's just like an 8 hour, where 2 hours are coding and 6 hours are looking around and doing nothing (a bit exagerated) but all those 8 hours are me and the compiler and nothing else.
I'd like to stay in this point for a while and think about it. I have made this thought some months ago: Is it possible that someone might obsessively wish to release demos but not understanding that it's not what he exactly wants to do? I mean, is it possible that I THINK that I want to do demos, but I don't really understand it? Or I am in denial concerning this realization?
One possible explanation is that in the past I found the demoscene and wanted to make something (and maybe not explicitly liking every aspect of it but only some parts) and the primary reasons must be a meaning in my life, or gaining some self-esteem I lacked by releasing a demo. This might have become an obsession, a habit, waking every day and dreaming of demos I would like to do and become famous (although it wasn't 100% this, I also liked demos), especially I might have needed that. Nowadays, the old habit has remained as a bad virus in my brain, but maybe I don't explicitly need to code demos but I can try other things too. Although it's hard to kill the old habit. And the main question is where should I go? I mean, maybe I am afraid to 1) accept it, 2) leave back the demoscene which was always a primary source of meaning and self-esteem for me.
So, maybe it's possible that it's not the primary think I would wish to do, yet I can't let it go. And I still have ideas, it's not the I am bored, but the initial motivation is degraded while only the habit that makes me think I have to do demos remained.
I can't explain it elsewhere. If I wish to make demos and had it naturally I would have done it. Of course the same explanation could be used for every other aspect. If I struggle with being social or have it bad with girls, then maybe it's because it doesn't come to me naturally, so it shouldn't something that I have to do. Someone would disagree with this. Although lately I have no motivation for anything. I have nowhere to go..
Hello. I just observed the real reason why I suck at democoding. Or why I do not exactly suck at coding itself but in productivity, in results, in creating a good solid demo and in time. It is something I have noticed several times in the past but bypassed it for some reasons, never gave it enough attention. But now I had greater awareness of it and I was shocked.
I simply sit down to code something and it takes me 4+ times more to finish it than what it should originally take. Something that would take 1-2 hours and I could simply do more stuff or even do different real life stuff in between, it takes me a whole evening or day. Suddenly I realize how awfully time passes. I sit there thinking of the next line of code to write and I may loose focus or daydream or play with something on my fingers for several minutes. And then I wake up and realize it and try to focus but my mind goes elsewhere.
To not misunderstand me, I don't want necessarily with this thread to focus on disorders (although it would be interesting), in the past I never thought I would fit the profile of an ADD person as I know it (especially not ADHD, I am the silent guy) but now I have noticed that something really bad is playing and I'd be just wondering whether there are some techniques to keep focused on the democoding and not snap out of it or if someone else experiences something similar and how he gets along with it.
However, a possibility is that I am simply absent minded in parts of coding where I don't have the best interest. I've been noticing at which coding sessions I am loosing it and at which I am really focused and produce a lot (this happens once in ten times). I may be coding a new effect (I tried the freedir tunnel we were discussing) but at some trivial parts with not much interest or not something new yet a bit tricky to think and needs brain energy I may be absent minded and taking 3 hours for trivial stuff of half an hour and not realizing it. The rare cases where I am really feeling productive are when I am experimenting with some crazy idea (usually on optimization) I just thought and really want to try. But when I just have to connect parts of demos or code trivial stuff I spent a lot of time. Another side I perform ok is when I have to copy-paste code (trivial but I don't have to put mind in it, just automation), ok lame. And also usually I keep daydreaming about a demo easilly but it's hard for me to sit down and work on it. When I daydream my mind works, when I sit down to code I flat out.
Also, there is always the same feeling. Maybe I used to oppress myself to code demos even when I didn't felt ok with it. I feel some pressure inside me, almost like psychosomatic, something telling me "Oh, I am bored to just sit here and code". At this part, of course, as expected, I get a lot of those absent minded where I sit down to code and everything goes wrong, my attention shifts to other things and I loose it. Ok, maybe this is just a way for myself to say "Knock it off, I don't want to code a demo right now. Give me something else to focus on!". But what?
Well, I do this thing too, what kept my mother worrying. But even then I just feel I don't get enough of my potential. Sometimes, I also wonder whether music or no music or other conditions would be more suitable or distract me but I haven't experimented really. I think the matter is also a matter of will, like I don't really want to code at specific time but I want to finish the demo in time.
I don't think it works for me. Usually I don't even consider trying. Once I was watching the Xardavellas show (with the paranormal shit) while trying to code something at the same time (hmm,. crazy, haven't done this before) and I couldn't focus at all (although I was trying to understand what they were saying on the show, not just as background noise)
Didn't considered that much before. But yes I remember once that some electronic music without lyrics worked very well, while some greek hip hop really killed my focus :P
However, I should still investigate which parts of coding gets me in the mood and which processes slows me down.
Cool, it sometimes works.
In some other times I am too lazy or feel oppressed that I won't even start, I won't even touch the compiler for a second for days. But if I touch it then magic happens. Although I avoid it. Maybe I am just lazy or don't really want to code a demo. Is there a cure?
Good, but the main problem happens when I am offline. We are not talking about defocus because of Pouet here.
Yes actually. We are not talking about the times I write on pouet where you'd think I should be doing something else. I am only talking about the specific time periods I sit down to code, I haven't opened any browser or anything, and my mind gets distracted, I simple have a bland look, I am absent minded for a long time. I don't mean being distracted by games/internet. It's just like an 8 hour, where 2 hours are coding and 6 hours are looking around and doing nothing (a bit exagerated) but all those 8 hours are me and the compiler and nothing else.
I'd like to stay in this point for a while and think about it. I have made this thought some months ago: Is it possible that someone might obsessively wish to release demos but not understanding that it's not what he exactly wants to do? I mean, is it possible that I THINK that I want to do demos, but I don't really understand it? Or I am in denial concerning this realization?
One possible explanation is that in the past I found the demoscene and wanted to make something (and maybe not explicitly liking every aspect of it but only some parts) and the primary reasons must be a meaning in my life, or gaining some self-esteem I lacked by releasing a demo. This might have become an obsession, a habit, waking every day and dreaming of demos I would like to do and become famous (although it wasn't 100% this, I also liked demos), especially I might have needed that. Nowadays, the old habit has remained as a bad virus in my brain, but maybe I don't explicitly need to code demos but I can try other things too. Although it's hard to kill the old habit. And the main question is where should I go? I mean, maybe I am afraid to 1) accept it, 2) leave back the demoscene which was always a primary source of meaning and self-esteem for me.
So, maybe it's possible that it's not the primary think I would wish to do, yet I can't let it go. And I still have ideas, it's not the I am bored, but the initial motivation is degraded while only the habit that makes me think I have to do demos remained.
I can't explain it elsewhere. If I wish to make demos and had it naturally I would have done it. Of course the same explanation could be used for every other aspect. If I struggle with being social or have it bad with girls, then maybe it's because it doesn't come to me naturally, so it shouldn't something that I have to do. Someone would disagree with this. Although lately I have no motivation for anything. I have nowhere to go..
Hello. I just observed the real reason why I suck at democoding. Or why I do not exactly suck at coding itself but in productivity, in results, in creating a good solid demo and in time. It is something I have noticed several times in the past but bypassed it for some reasons, never gave it enough attention. But now I had greater awareness of it and I was shocked.
I simply sit down to code something and it takes me 4+ times more to finish it than what it should originally take. Something that would take 1-2 hours and I could simply do more stuff or even do different real life stuff in between, it takes me a whole evening or day. Suddenly I realize how awfully time passes. I sit there thinking of the next line of code to write and I may loose focus or daydream or play with something on my fingers for several minutes. And then I wake up and realize it and try to focus but my mind goes elsewhere.
To not misunderstand me, I don't want necessarily with this thread to focus on disorders (although it would be interesting), in the past I never thought I would fit the profile of an ADD person as I know it (especially not ADHD, I am the silent guy) but now I have noticed that something really bad is playing and I'd be just wondering whether there are some techniques to keep focused on the democoding and not snap out of it or if someone else experiences something similar and how he gets along with it.
However, a possibility is that I am simply absent minded in parts of coding where I don't have the best interest. I've been noticing at which coding sessions I am loosing it and at which I am really focused and produce a lot (this happens once in ten times). I may be coding a new effect (I tried the freedir tunnel we were discussing) but at some trivial parts with not much interest or not something new yet a bit tricky to think and needs brain energy I may be absent minded and taking 3 hours for trivial stuff of half an hour and not realizing it. The rare cases where I am really feeling productive are when I am experimenting with some crazy idea (usually on optimization) I just thought and really want to try. But when I just have to connect parts of demos or code trivial stuff I spent a lot of time. Another side I perform ok is when I have to copy-paste code (trivial but I don't have to put mind in it, just automation), ok lame. And also usually I keep daydreaming about a demo easilly but it's hard for me to sit down and work on it. When I daydream my mind works, when I sit down to code I flat out.
Also, there is always the same feeling. Maybe I used to oppress myself to code demos even when I didn't felt ok with it. I feel some pressure inside me, almost like psychosomatic, something telling me "Oh, I am bored to just sit here and code". At this part, of course, as expected, I get a lot of those absent minded where I sit down to code and everything goes wrong, my attention shifts to other things and I loose it. Ok, maybe this is just a way for myself to say "Knock it off, I don't want to code a demo right now. Give me something else to focus on!". But what?
Well, I do this thing too, what kept my mother worrying. But even then I just feel I don't get enough of my potential. Sometimes, I also wonder whether music or no music or other conditions would be more suitable or distract me but I haven't experimented really. I think the matter is also a matter of will, like I don't really want to code at specific time but I want to finish the demo in time.
I don't think it works for me. Usually I don't even consider trying. Once I was watching the Xardavellas show (with the paranormal shit) while trying to code something at the same time (hmm,. crazy, haven't done this before) and I couldn't focus at all (although I was trying to understand what they were saying on the show, not just as background noise)
Didn't considered that much before. But yes I remember once that some electronic music without lyrics worked very well, while some greek hip hop really killed my focus :P
However, I should still investigate which parts of coding gets me in the mood and which processes slows me down.
Cool, it sometimes works.
In some other times I am too lazy or feel oppressed that I won't even start, I won't even touch the compiler for a second for days. But if I touch it then magic happens. Although I avoid it. Maybe I am just lazy or don't really want to code a demo. Is there a cure?
Good, but the main problem happens when I am offline. We are not talking about defocus because of Pouet here.
Yes actually. We are not talking about the times I write on pouet where you'd think I should be doing something else. I am only talking about the specific time periods I sit down to code, I haven't opened any browser or anything, and my mind gets distracted, I simple have a bland look, I am absent minded for a long time. I don't mean being distracted by games/internet. It's just like an 8 hour, where 2 hours are coding and 6 hours are looking around and doing nothing (a bit exagerated) but all those 8 hours are me and the compiler and nothing else.
I'd like to stay in this point for a while and think about it. I have made this thought some months ago: Is it possible that someone might obsessively wish to release demos but not understanding that it's not what he exactly wants to do? I mean, is it possible that I THINK that I want to do demos, but I don't really understand it? Or I am in denial concerning this realization?
One possible explanation is that in the past I found the demoscene and wanted to make something (and maybe not explicitly liking every aspect of it but only some parts) and the primary reasons must be a meaning in my life, or gaining some self-esteem I lacked by releasing a demo. This might have become an obsession, a habit, waking every day and dreaming of demos I would like to do and become famous (although it wasn't 100% this, I also liked demos), especially I might have needed that. Nowadays, the old habit has remained as a bad virus in my brain, but maybe I don't explicitly need to code demos but I can try other things too. Although it's hard to kill the old habit. And the main question is where should I go? I mean, maybe I am afraid to 1) accept it, 2) leave back the demoscene which was always a primary source of meaning and self-esteem for me.
So, maybe it's possible that it's not the primary think I would wish to do, yet I can't let it go. And I still have ideas, it's not the I am bored, but the initial motivation is degraded while only the habit that makes me think I have to do demos remained.
I can't explain it elsewhere. If I wish to make demos and had it naturally I would have done it. Of course the same explanation could be used for every other aspect. If I struggle with being social or have it bad with girls, then maybe it's because it doesn't come to me naturally, so it shouldn't something that I have to do. Someone would disagree with this. Although lately I have no motivation for anything. I have nowhere to go..
Hello. I just observed the real reason why I suck at democoding. Or why I do not exactly suck at coding itself but in productivity, in results, in creating a good solid demo and in time. It is something I have noticed several times in the past but bypassed it for some reasons, never gave it enough attention. But now I had greater awareness of it and I was shocked.
I simply sit down to code something and it takes me 4+ times more to finish it than what it should originally take. Something that would take 1-2 hours and I could simply do more stuff or even do different real life stuff in between, it takes me a whole evening or day. Suddenly I realize how awfully time passes. I sit there thinking of the next line of code to write and I may loose focus or daydream or play with something on my fingers for several minutes. And then I wake up and realize it and try to focus but my mind goes elsewhere.
To not misunderstand me, I don't want necessarily with this thread to focus on disorders (although it would be interesting), in the past I never thought I would fit the profile of an ADD person as I know it (especially not ADHD, I am the silent guy) but now I have noticed that something really bad is playing and I'd be just wondering whether there are some techniques to keep focused on the democoding and not snap out of it or if someone else experiences something similar and how he gets along with i
I simply sit down to code something and it takes me 4+ times more to finish it than what it should originally take. Something that would take 1-2 hours and I could simply do more stuff or even do different real life stuff in between, it takes me a whole evening or day. Suddenly I realize how awfully time passes. I sit there thinking of the next line of code to write and I may loose focus or daydream or play with something on my fingers for several minutes. And then I wake up and realize it and try to focus but my mind goes elsewhere.
To not misunderstand me, I don't want necessarily with this thread to focus on disorders (although it would be interesting), in the past I never thought I would fit the profile of an ADD person as I know it (especially not ADHD, I am the silent guy) but now I have noticed that something really bad is playing and I'd be just wondering whether there are some techniques to keep focused on the democoding and not snap out of it or if someone else experiences something similar and how he gets along with it.
However, a possibility is that I am simply absent minded in parts of coding where I don't have the best interest. I've been noticing at which coding sessions I am loosing it and at which I am really focused and produce a lot (this happens once in ten times). I may be coding a new effect (I tried the freedir tunnel we were discussing) but at some trivial parts with not much interest or not something new yet a bit tricky to think and needs brain energy I may be absent minded and taking 3 hours for trivial stuff of half an hour and not realizing it. The rare cases where I am really feeling productive are when I am experimenting with some crazy idea (usually on optimization) I just thought and really want to try. But when I just have to connect parts of demos or code trivial stuff I spent a lot of time. Another side I perform ok is when I have to copy-paste code (trivial but I don't have to put mind in it, just automation), ok lame. And also usually I keep daydreaming about a demo easilly but it's hard for me to sit down and work on it. When I daydream my mind works, when I sit down to code I flat out.
Also, there is always the same feeling. Maybe I used to oppress myself to code demos even when I didn't felt ok with it. I feel some pressure inside me, almost like psychosomatic, something telling me "Oh, I am bored to just sit here and code". At this part, of course, as expected, I get a lot of those absent minded where I sit down to code and everything goes wrong, my attention shifts to other things and I loose it. Ok, maybe this is just a way for myself to say "Knock it off, I don't want to code a demo right now. Give me something else to focus on!". But what?
Well, I do this thing too, what kept my mother worrying. But even then I just feel I don't get enough of my potential. Sometimes, I also wonder whether music or no music or other conditions would be more suitable or distract me but I haven't experimented really. I think the matter is also a matter of will, like I don't really want to code at specific time but I want to finish the demo in time.
I don't think it works for me. Usually I don't even consider trying. Once I was watching the Xardavellas show (with the paranormal shit) while trying to code something at the same time (hmm,. crazy, haven't done this before) and I couldn't focus at all (although I was trying to understand what they were saying on the show, not just as background noise)
Didn't considered that much before. But yes I remember once that some electronic music without lyrics worked very well, while some greek hip hop really killed my focus :P
However, I should still investigate which parts of coding gets me in the mood and which processes slows me down.
Cool, it sometimes works.
In some other times I am too lazy or feel oppressed that I won't even start, I won't even touch the compiler for a second for days. But if I touch it then magic happens. Although I avoid it. Maybe I am just lazy or don't really want to code a demo. Is there a cure?
Good, but the main problem happens when I am offline. We are not talking about defocus because of Pouet here.
Yes actually. We are not talking about the times I write on pouet where you'd think I should be doing something else. I am only talking about the specific time periods I sit down to code, I haven't opened any browser or anything, and my mind gets distracted, I simple have a bland look, I am absent minded for a long time. I don't mean being distracted by games/internet. It's just like an 8 hour, where 2 hours are coding and 6 hours are looking around and doing nothing (a bit exagerated) but all those 8 hours are me and the compiler and nothing else.
I'd like to stay in this point for a while and think about it. I have made this thought some months ago: Is it possible that someone might obsessively wish to release demos but not understanding that it's not what he exactly wants to do? I mean, is it possible that I THINK that I want to do demos, but I don't really understand it? Or I am in denial concerning this realization?
One possible explanation is that in the past I found the demoscene and wanted to make something (and maybe not explicitly liking every aspect of it but only some parts) and the primary reasons must be a meaning in my life, or gaining some self-esteem I lacked by releasing a demo. This might have become an obsession, a habit, waking every day and dreaming of demos I would like to do and become famous (although it wasn't 100% this, I also liked demos), especially I might have needed that. Nowadays, the old habit has remained as a bad virus in my brain, but maybe I don't explicitly need to code demos but I can try other things too. Although it's hard to kill the old habit. And the main question is where should I go? I mean, maybe I am afraid to 1) accept it, 2) leave back the demoscene which was always a primary source of meaning and self-esteem for me.
So, maybe it's possible that it's not the primary think I would wish to do, yet I can't let it go. And I still have ideas, it's not the I am bored, but the initial motivation is degraded while only the habit that makes me think I have to do demos remained.
I can't explain it elsewhere. If I wish to make demos and had it naturally I would have done it. Of course the same explanation could be used for every other aspect. If I struggle with being social or have it bad with girls, then maybe it's because it doesn't come to me naturally, so it shouldn't something that I have to do. Someone would disagree with this. Although lately I have no motivation for anything. I have nowhere to go..
Hello. I just observed the real reason why I suck at democoding. Or why I do not exactly suck at coding itself but in productivity, in results, in creating a good solid demo and in time. It is something I have noticed several times in the past but bypassed it for some reasons, never gave it enough attention. But now I had greater awareness of it and I was shocked.
I simply sit down to code something and it takes me 4+ times more to finish it than what it should originally take. Something that would take 1-2 hours and I could simply do more stuff or even do different real life stuff in between, it takes me a whole evening or day. Suddenly I realize how awfully time passes. I sit there thinking of the next line of code to write and I may loose focus or daydream or play with something on my fingers for several minutes. And then I wake up and realize it and try to focus but my mind goes elsewhere.
To not misunderstand me, I don't want necessarily with this thread to focus on disorders (although it would be interesting), in the past I never thought I would fit the profile of an ADD person as I know it (especially not ADHD, I am the silent guy) but now I have noticed that something really bad is playing and I'd be just wondering whether there are some techniques to keep focused on the democoding and not snap out of it or if someone else experiences something similar and how he gets along with it.
However, a possibility is that I am simply absent minded in parts of coding where I don't have the best interest. I've been noticing at which coding sessions I am loosing it and at which I am really focused and produce a lot (this happens once in ten times). I may be coding a new effect (I tried the freedir tunnel we were discussing) but at some trivial parts with not much interest or not something new yet a bit tricky to think and needs brain energy I may be absent minded and taking 3 hours for trivial stuff of half an hour and not realizing it. The rare cases where I am really feeling productive are when I am experimenting with some crazy idea (usually on optimization) I just thought and really want to try. But when I just have to connect parts of demos or code trivial stuff I spent a lot of time. Another side I perform ok is when I have to copy-paste code (trivial but I don't have to put mind in it, just automation), ok lame. And also usually I keep daydreaming about a demo easilly but it's hard for me to sit down and work on it. When I daydream my mind works, when I sit down to code I flat out.
Also, there is always the same feeling. Maybe I used to oppress myself to code demos even when I didn't felt ok with it. I feel some pressure inside me, almost like psychosomatic, something telling me "Oh, I am bored to just sit here and code". At this part, of course, as expected, I get a lot of those absent minded where I sit down to code and everything goes wrong, my attention shifts to other things and I loose it. Ok, maybe this is just a way for myself to say "Knock it off, I don't want to code a demo right now. Give me something else to focus on!". But what?
Well, I do this thing too, what kept my mother worrying. But even then I just feel I don't get enough of my potential. Sometimes, I also wonder whether music or no music or other conditions would be more suitable or distract me but I haven't experimented really. I think the matter is also a matter of will, like I don't really want to code at specific time but I want to finish the demo in time.
I don't think it works for me. Usually I don't even consider trying. Once I was watching the Xardavellas show (with the paranormal shit) while trying to code something at the same time (hmm,. crazy, haven't done this before) and I couldn't focus at all (although I was trying to understand what they were saying on the show, not just as background noise)
Didn't considered that much before. But yes I remember once that some electronic music without lyrics worked very well, while some greek hip hop really killed my focus :P
However, I should still investigate which parts of coding gets me in the mood and which processes slows me down.
Cool, it sometimes works.
In some other times I am too lazy or feel oppressed that I won't even start, I won't even touch the compiler for a second for days. But if I touch it then magic happens. Although I avoid it. Maybe I am just lazy or don't really want to code a demo. Is there a cure?
Good, but the main problem happens when I am offline. We are not talking about defocus because of Pouet here.
Yes actually. We are not talking about the times I write on pouet where you'd think I should be doing something else. I am only talking about the specific time periods I sit down to code, I haven't opened any browser or anything, and my mind gets distracted, I simple have a bland look, I am absent minded for a long time. I don't mean being distracted by games/internet. It's just like an 8 hour, where 2 hours are coding and 6 hours are looking around and doing nothing (a bit exagerated) but all those 8 hours are me and the compiler and nothing else.
I'd like to stay in this point for a while and think about it. I have made this thought some months ago: Is it possible that someone might obsessively wish to release demos but not understanding that it's not what he exactly wants to do? I mean, is it possible that I THINK that I want to do demos, but I don't really understand it? Or I am in denial concerning this realization?
One possible explanation is that in the past I found the demoscene and wanted to make something (and maybe not explicitly liking every aspect of it but only some parts) and the primary reasons must be a meaning in my life, or gaining some self-esteem I lacked by releasing a demo. This might have become an obsession, a habit, waking every day and dreaming of demos I would like to do and become famous (although it wasn't 100% this, I also liked demos), especially I might have needed that. Nowadays, the old habit has remained as a bad virus in my brain, but maybe I don't explicitly need to code demos but I can try other things too. Although it's hard to kill the old habit. And the main question is where should I go? I mean, maybe I am afraid to 1) accept it, 2) leave back the demoscene which was always a primary source of meaning and self-esteem for me.
So, maybe it's possible that it's not the primary think I would wish to do, yet I can't let it go. And I still have ideas, it's not the I am bored, but the initial motivation is degraded while only the habit that makes me think I have to do demos remained.
I can't explain it elsewhere. If I wish to make demos and had it naturally I would have done it. Of course the same explanation could be used for every other aspect. If I struggle with being social or have it bad with girls, then maybe it's because it doesn't come to me naturally, so it shouldn't something that I have to do. Someone would disagree with this. Although lately I have no motivation for anything. I have nowhere to go..
Hello. I just observed the real reason why I suck at democoding. Or why I do not exactly suck at coding itself but in productivity, in results, in creating a good solid demo and in time. It is something I have noticed several times in the past but bypassed it for some reasons, never gave it enough attention. But now I had greater awareness of it and I was shocked.
I simply sit down to code something and it takes me 4+ times more to finish it than what it should originally take. Something that would take 1-2 hours and I could simply do more stuff or even do different real life stuff in between, it takes me a whole evening or day. Suddenly I realize how awfully time passes. I sit there thinking of the next line of code to write and I may loose focus or daydream or play with something on my fingers for several minutes. And then I wake up and realize it and try to focus but my mind goes elsewhere.
To not misunderstand me, I don't want necessarily with this thread to focus on disorders (although it would be interesting), in the past I never thought I would fit the profile of an ADD person as I know it (especially not ADHD, I am the silent guy) but now I have noticed that something really bad is playing and I'd be just wondering whether there are some techniques to keep focused on the democoding and not snap out of it or if someone else experiences something similar and how he gets along with it.
However, a possibility is that I am simply absent minded in parts of coding where I don't have the best interest. I've been noticing at which coding sessions I am loosing it and at which I am really focused and produce a lot (this happens once in ten times). I may be coding a new effect (I tried the freedir tunnel we were discussing) but at some trivial parts with not much interest or not something new yet a bit tricky to think and needs brain energy I may be absent minded and taking 3 hours for trivial stuff of half an hour and not realizing it. The rare cases where I am really feeling productive are when I am experimenting with some crazy idea (usually on optimization) I just thought and really want to try. But when I just have to connect parts of demos or code trivial stuff I spent a lot of time. Another side I perform ok is when I have to copy-paste code (trivial but I don't have to put mind in it, just automation), ok lame. And also usually I keep daydreaming about a demo easilly but it's hard for me to sit down and work on it. When I daydream my mind works, when I sit down to code I flat out.
Also, there is always the same feeling. Maybe I used to oppress myself to code demos even when I didn't felt ok with it. I feel some pressure inside me, almost like psychosomatic, something telling me "Oh, I am bored to just sit here and code". At this part, of course, as expected, I get a lot of those absent minded where I sit down to code and everything goes wrong, my attention shifts to other things and I loose it. Ok, maybe this is just a way for myself to say "Knock it off, I don't want to code a demo right now. Give me something else to focus on!". But what?
Well, I do this thing too, what kept my mother worrying. But even then I just feel I don't get enough of my potential. Sometimes, I also wonder whether music or no music or other conditions would be more suitable or distract me but I haven't experimented really. I think the matter is also a matter of will, like I don't really want to code at specific time but I want to finish the demo in time.
I don't think it works for me. Usually I don't even consider trying. Once I was watching the Xardavellas show (with the paranormal shit) while trying to code something at the same time (hmm,. crazy, haven't done this before) and I couldn't focus at all (although I was trying to understand what they were saying on the show, not just as background noise)
Didn't considered that much before. But yes I remember once that some electronic music without lyrics worked very well, while some greek hip hop really killed my focus :P
However, I should still investigate which parts of coding gets me in the mood and which processes slows me down.
Cool, it sometimes works.
In some other times I am too lazy or feel oppressed that I won't even start, I won't even touch the compiler for a second for days. But if I touch it then magic happens. Although I avoid it. Maybe I am just lazy or don't really want to code a demo. Is there a cure?
Good, but the main problem happens when I am offline. We are not talking about defocus because of Pouet here.
Yes actually. We are not talking about the times I write on pouet where you'd think I should be doing something else. I am only talking about the specific time periods I sit down to code, I haven't opened any browser or anything, and my mind gets distracted, I simple have a bland look, I am absent minded for a long time. I don't mean being distracted by games/internet. It's just like an 8 hour, where 2 hours are coding and 6 hours are looking around and doing nothing (a bit exagerated) but all those 8 hours are me and the compiler and nothing else.
I'd like to stay in this point for a while and think about it. I have made this thought some months ago: Is it possible that someone might obsessively wish to release demos but not understanding that it's not what he exactly wants to do? I mean, is it possible that I THINK that I want to do demos, but I don't really understand it? Or I am in denial concerning this realization?
One possible explanation is that in the past I found the demoscene and wanted to make something (and maybe not explicitly liking every aspect of it but only some parts) and the primary reasons must be a meaning in my life, or gaining some self-esteem I lacked by releasing a demo. This might have become an obsession, a habit, waking every day and dreaming of demos I would like to do and become famous (although it wasn't 100% this, I also liked demos), especially I might have needed that. Nowadays, the old habit has remained as a bad virus in my brain, but maybe I don't explicitly need to code demos but I can try other things too. Although it's hard to kill the old habit. And the main question is where should I go? I mean, maybe I am afraid to 1) accept it, 2) leave back the demoscene which was always a primary source of meaning and self-esteem for me.
So, maybe it's possible that it's not the primary think I would wish to do, yet I can't let it go. And I still have ideas, it's not the I am bored, but the initial motivation is degraded while only the habit that makes me think I have to do demos remained.
I can't explain it elsewhere. If I wish to make demos and had it naturally I would have done it. Of course the same explanation could be used for every other aspect. If I struggle with being social or have it bad with girls, then maybe it's because it doesn't come to me naturally, so it shouldn't something that I have to do. Someone would disagree with this. Although lately I have no motivation for anything. I have nowhere to go..
Hello. I just observed the real reason why I suck at democoding. Or why I do not exactly suck at coding itself but in productivity, in results, in creating a good solid demo and in time. It is something I have noticed several times in the past but bypassed it for some reasons, never gave it enough attention. But now I had greater awareness of it and I was shocked.
I simply sit down to code something and it takes me 4+ times more to finish it than what it should originally take. Something that would take 1-2 hours and I could simply do more stuff or even do different real life stuff in between, it takes me a whole evening or day. Suddenly I realize how awfully time passes. I sit there thinking of the next line of code to write and I may loose focus or daydream or play with something on my fingers for several minutes. And then I wake up and realize it and try to focus but my mind goes elsewhere.
To not misunderstand me, I don't want necessarily with this thread to focus on disorders (although it would be interesting), in the past I never thought I would fit the profile of an ADD person as I know it (especially not ADHD, I am the silent guy) but now I have noticed that something really bad is playing and I'd be just wondering whether there are some techniques to keep focused on the democoding and not snap out of it or if someone else experiences something similar and how he gets along with it.
However, a possibility is that I am simply absent minded in parts of coding where I don't have the best interest. I've been noticing at which coding sessions I am loosing it and at which I am really focused and produce a lot (this happens once in ten times). I may be coding a new effect (I tried the freedir tunnel we were discussing) but at some trivial parts with not much interest or not something new yet a bit tricky to think and needs brain energy I may be absent minded and taking 3 hours for trivial stuff of half an hour and not realizing it. The rare cases where I am really feeling productive are when I am experimenting with some crazy idea (usually on optimization) I just thought and really want to try. But when I just have to connect parts of demos or code trivial stuff I spent a lot of time. Another side I perform ok is when I have to copy-paste code (trivial but I don't have to put mind in it, just automation), ok lame. And also usually I keep daydreaming about a demo easilly but it's hard for me to sit down and work on it. When I daydream my mind works, when I sit down to code I flat out.
Also, there is always the same feeling. Maybe I used to oppress myself to code demos even when I didn't felt ok with it. I feel some pressure inside me, almost like psychosomatic, something telling me "Oh, I am bored to just sit here and code". At this part, of course, as expected, I get a lot of those absent minded where I sit down to code and everything goes wrong, my attention shifts to other things and I loose it. Ok, maybe this is just a way for myself to say "Knock it off, I don't want to code a demo right now. Give me something else to focus on!". But what?
Well, I do this thing too, what kept my mother worrying. But even then I just feel I don't get enough of my potential. Sometimes, I also wonder whether music or no music or other conditions would be more suitable or distract me but I haven't experimented really. I think the matter is also a matter of will, like I don't really want to code at specific time but I want to finish the demo in time.
I don't think it works for me. Usually I don't even consider trying. Once I was watching the Xardavellas show (with the paranormal shit) while trying to code something at the same time (hmm,. crazy, haven't done this before) and I couldn't focus at all (although I was trying to understand what they were saying on the show, not just as background noise)
Didn't considered that much before. But yes I remember once that some electronic music without lyrics worked very well, while some greek hip hop really killed my focus :P
However, I should still investigate which parts of coding gets me in the mood and which processes slows me down.
Cool, it sometimes works.
In some other times I am too lazy or feel oppressed that I won't even start, I won't even touch the compiler for a second for days. But if I touch it then magic happens. Although I avoid it. Maybe I am just lazy or don't really want to code a demo. Is there a cure?
Good, but the main problem happens when I am offline. We are not talking about defocus because of Pouet here.
Yes actually. We are not talking about the times I write on pouet where you'd think I should be doing something else. I am only talking about the specific time periods I sit down to code, I haven't opened any browser or anything, and my mind gets distracted, I simple have a bland look, I am absent minded for a long time. I don't mean being distracted by games/internet. It's just like an 8 hour, where 2 hours are coding and 6 hours are looking around and doing nothing (a bit exagerated) but all those 8 hours are me and the compiler and nothing else.
I'd like to stay in this point for a while and think about it. I have made this thought some months ago: Is it possible that someone might obsessively wish to release demos but not understanding that it's not what he exactly wants to do? I mean, is it possible that I THINK that I want to do demos, but I don't really understand it? Or I am in denial concerning this realization?
One possible explanation is that in the past I found the demoscene and wanted to make something (and maybe not explicitly liking every aspect of it but only some parts) and the primary reasons must be a meaning in my life, or gaining some self-esteem I lacked by releasing a demo. This might have become an obsession, a habit, waking every day and dreaming of demos I would like to do and become famous (although it wasn't 100% this, I also liked demos), especially I might have needed that. Nowadays, the old habit has remained as a bad virus in my brain, but maybe I don't explicitly need to code demos but I can try other things too. Although it's hard to kill the old habit. And the main question is where should I go? I mean, maybe I am afraid to 1) accept it, 2) leave back the demoscene which was always a primary source of meaning and self-esteem for me.
So, maybe it's possible that it's not the primary think I would wish to do, yet I can't let it go. And I still have ideas, it's not the I am bored, but the initial motivation is degraded while only the habit that makes me think I have to do demos remained.
I can't explain it elsewhere. If I wish to make demos and had it naturally I would have done it. Of course the same explanation could be used for every other aspect. If I struggle with being social or have it bad with girls, then maybe it's because it doesn't come to me naturally, so it shouldn't something that I have to do. Someone would disagree with this. Although lately I have no motivation for anything. I have nowhere to go..
Hello. I just observed the real reason why I suck at democoding. Or why I do not exactly suck at coding itself but in productivity, in results, in creating a good solid demo and in time. It is something I have noticed several times in the past but bypassed it for some reasons, never gave it enough attention. But now I had greater awareness of it and I was shocked.
I simply sit down to code something and it takes me 4+ times more to finish it than what it should originally take. Something that would take 1-2 hours and I could simply do more stuff or even do different real life stuff in between, it takes me a whole evening or day. Suddenly I realize how awfully time passes. I sit there thinking of the next line of code to write and I may loose focus or daydream or play with something on my fingers for several minutes. And then I wake up and realize it and try to focus but my mind goes elsewhere.
To not misunderstand me, I don't want necessarily with this thread to focus on disorders (although it would be interesting), in the past I never thought I would fit the profile of an ADD person as I know it (especially not ADHD, I am the silent guy) but now I have noticed that something really bad is playing and I'd be just wondering whether there are some techniques to keep focused on the democoding and not snap out of it or if someone else experiences something similar and how he gets along with it.
However, a possibility is that I am simply absent minded in parts of coding where I don't have the best interest. I've been noticing at which coding sessions I am loosing it and at which I am really focused and produce a lot (this happens once in ten times). I may be coding a new effect (I tried the freedir tunnel we were discussing) but at some trivial parts with not much interest or not something new yet a bit tricky to think and needs brain energy I may be absent minded and taking 3 hours for trivial stuff of half an hour and not realizing it. The rare cases where I am really feeling productive are when I am experimenting with some crazy idea (usually on optimization) I just thought and really want to try. But when I just have to connect parts of demos or code trivial stuff I spent a lot of time. Another side I perform ok is when I have to copy-paste code (trivial but I don't have to put mind in it, just automation), ok lame. And also usually I keep daydreaming about a demo easilly but it's hard for me to sit down and work on it. When I daydream my mind works, when I sit down to code I flat out.
Also, there is always the same feeling. Maybe I used to oppress myself to code demos even when I didn't felt ok with it. I feel some pressure inside me, almost like psychosomatic, something telling me "Oh, I am bored to just sit here and code". At this part, of course, as expected, I get a lot of those absent minded where I sit down to code and everything goes wrong, my attention shifts to other things and I loose it. Ok, maybe this is just a way for myself to say "Knock it off, I don't want to code a demo right now. Give me something else to focus on!". But what?
Well, I do this thing too, what kept my mother worrying. But even then I just feel I don't get enough of my potential. Sometimes, I also wonder whether music or no music or other conditions would be more suitable or distract me but I haven't experimented really. I think the matter is also a matter of will, like I don't really want to code at specific time but I want to finish the demo in time.
I don't think it works for me. Usually I don't even consider trying. Once I was watching the Xardavellas show (with the paranormal shit) while trying to code something at the same time (hmm,. crazy, haven't done this before) and I couldn't focus at all (although I was trying to understand what they were saying on the show, not just as background noise)
Didn't considered that much before. But yes I remember once that some electronic music without lyrics worked very well, while some greek hip hop really killed my focus :P
However, I should still investigate which parts of coding gets me in the mood and which processes slows me down.
Cool, it sometimes works.
In some other times I am too lazy or feel oppressed that I won't even start, I won't even touch the compiler for a second for days. But if I touch it then magic happens. Although I avoid it. Maybe I am just lazy or don't really want to code a demo. Is there a cure?
Good, but the main problem happens when I am offline. We are not talking about defocus because of Pouet here.
Yes actually. We are not talking about the times I write on pouet where you'd think I should be doing something else. I am only talking about the specific time periods I sit down to code, I haven't opened any browser or anything, and my mind gets distracted, I simple have a bland look, I am absent minded for a long time. I don't mean being distracted by games/internet. It's just like an 8 hour, where 2 hours are coding and 6 hours are looking around and doing nothing (a bit exagerated) but all those 8 hours are me and the compiler and nothing else.
I'd like to stay in this point for a while and think about it. I have made this thought some months ago: Is it possible that someone might obsessively wish to release demos but not understanding that it's not what he exactly wants to do? I mean, is it possible that I THINK that I want to do demos, but I don't really understand it? Or I am in denial concerning this realization?
One possible explanation is that in the past I found the demoscene and wanted to make something (and maybe not explicitly liking every aspect of it but only some parts) and the primary reasons must be a meaning in my life, or gaining some self-esteem I lacked by releasing a demo. This might have become an obsession, a habit, waking every day and dreaming of demos I would like to do and become famous (although it wasn't 100% this, I also liked demos), especially I might have needed that. Nowadays, the old habit has remained as a bad virus in my brain, but maybe I don't explicitly need to code demos but I can try other things too. Although it's hard to kill the old habit. And the main question is where should I go? I mean, maybe I am afraid to 1) accept it, 2) leave back the demoscene which was always a primary source of meaning and self-esteem for me.
So, maybe it's possible that it's not the primary think I would wish to do, yet I can't let it go. And I still have ideas, it's not the I am bored, but the initial motivation is degraded while only the habit that makes me think I have to do demos remained.
I can't explain it elsewhere. If I wish to make demos and had it naturally I would have done it. Of course the same explanation could be used for every other aspect. If I struggle with being social or have it bad with girls, then maybe it's because it doesn't come to me naturally, so it shouldn't something that I have to do. Someone would disagree with this. Although lately I have no motivation for anything. I have nowhere to go..
Hello. I just observed the real reason why I suck at democoding. Or why I do not exactly suck at coding itself but in productivity, in results, in creating a good solid demo and in time. It is something I have noticed several times in the past but bypassed it for some reasons, never gave it enough attention. But now I had greater awareness of it and I was shocked.
I simply sit down to code something and it takes me 4+ times more to finish it than what it should originally take. Something that would take 1-2 hours and I could simply do more stuff or even do different real life stuff in between, it takes me a whole evening or day. Suddenly I realize how awfully time passes. I sit there thinking of the next line of code to write and I may loose focus or daydream or play with something on my fingers for several minutes. And then I wake up and realize it and try to focus but my mind goes elsewhere.
To not misunderstand me, I don't want necessarily with this thread to focus on disorders (although it would be interesting), in the past I never thought I would fit the profile of an ADD person as I know it (especially not ADHD, I am the silent guy) but now I have noticed that something really bad is playing and I'd be just wondering whether there are some techniques to keep focused on the democoding and not snap out of it or if someone else experiences something similar and how he gets along with it.
However, a possibility is that I am simply absent minded in parts of coding where I don't have the best interest. I've been noticing at which coding sessions I am loosing it and at which I am really focused and produce a lot (this happens once in ten times). I may be coding a new effect (I tried the freedir tunnel we were discussing) but at some trivial parts with not much interest or not something new yet a bit tricky to think and needs brain energy I may be absent minded and taking 3 hours for trivial stuff of half an hour and not realizing it. The rare cases where I am really feeling productive are when I am experimenting with some crazy idea (usually on optimization) I just thought and really want to try. But when I just have to connect parts of demos or code trivial stuff I spent a lot of time. Another side I perform ok is when I have to copy-paste code (trivial but I don't have to put mind in it, just automation), ok lame. And also usually I keep daydreaming about a demo easilly but it's hard for me to sit down and work on it. When I daydream my mind works, when I sit down to code I flat out.
Also, there is always the same feeling. Maybe I used to oppress myself to code demos even when I didn't felt ok with it. I feel some pressure inside me, almost like psychosomatic, something telling me "Oh, I am bored to just sit here and code". At this part, of course, as expected, I get a lot of those absent minded where I sit down to code and everything goes wrong, my attention shifts to other things and I loose it. Ok, maybe this is just a way for myself to say "Knock it off, I don't want to code a demo right now. Give me something else to focus on!". But what?
Well, I do this thing too, what kept my mother worrying. But even then I just feel I don't get enough of my potential. Sometimes, I also wonder whether music or no music or other conditions would be more suitable or distract me but I haven't experimented really. I think the matter is also a matter of will, like I don't really want to code at specific time but I want to finish the demo in time.
I don't think it works for me. Usually I don't even consider trying. Once I was watching the Xardavellas show (with the paranormal shit) while trying to code something at the same time (hmm,. crazy, haven't done this before) and I couldn't focus at all (although I was trying to understand what they were saying on the show, not just as background noise)
Didn't considered that much before. But yes I remember once that some electronic music without lyrics worked very well, while some greek hip hop really killed my focus :P
However, I should still investigate which parts of coding gets me in the mood and which processes slows me down.
Cool, it sometimes works.
In some other times I am too lazy or feel oppressed that I won't even start, I won't even touch the compiler for a second for days. But if I touch it then magic happens. Although I avoid it. Maybe I am just lazy or don't really want to code a demo. Is there a cure?
Good, but the main problem happens when I am offline. We are not talking about defocus because of Pouet here.
Yes actually. We are not talking about the times I write on pouet where you'd think I should be doing something else. I am only talking about the specific time periods I sit down to code, I haven't opened any browser or anything, and my mind gets distracted, I simple have a bland look, I am absent minded for a long time. I don't mean being distracted by games/internet. It's just like an 8 hour, where 2 hours are coding and 6 hours are looking around and doing nothing (a bit exagerated) but all those 8 hours are me and the compiler and nothing else.
I'd like to stay in this point for a while and think about it. I have made this thought some months ago: Is it possible that someone might obsessively wish to release demos but not understanding that it's not what he exactly wants to do? I mean, is it possible that I THINK that I want to do demos, but I don't really understand it? Or I am in denial concerning this realization?
One possible explanation is that in the past I found the demoscene and wanted to make something (and maybe not explicitly liking every aspect of it but only some parts) and the primary reasons must be a meaning in my life, or gaining some self-esteem I lacked by releasing a demo. This might have become an obsession, a habit, waking every day and dreaming of demos I would like to do and become famous (although it wasn't 100% this, I also liked demos), especially I might have needed that. Nowadays, the old habit has remained as a bad virus in my brain, but maybe I don't explicitly need to code demos but I can try other things too. Although it's hard to kill the old habit. And the main question is where should I go? I mean, maybe I am afraid to 1) accept it, 2) leave back the demoscene which was always a primary source of meaning and self-esteem for me.
So, maybe it's possible that it's not the primary think I would wish to do, yet I can't let it go. And I still have ideas, it's not the I am bored, but the initial motivation is degraded while only the habit that makes me think I have to do demos remained.
I can't explain it elsewhere. If I wish to make demos and had it naturally I would have done it. Of course the same explanation could be used for every other aspect. If I struggle with being social or have it bad with girls, then maybe it's because it doesn't come to me naturally, so it shouldn't something that I have to do. Someone would disagree with this. Although lately I have no motivation for anything. I have nowhere to go..
Hello. I just observed the real reason why I suck at democoding. Or why I do not exactly suck at coding itself but in productivity, in results, in creating a good solid demo and in time. It is something I have noticed several times in the past but bypassed it for some reasons, never gave it enough attention. But now I had greater awareness of it and I was shocked.
I simply sit down to code something and it takes me 4+ times more to finish it than what it should originally take. Something that would take 1-2 hours and I could simply do more stuff or even do different real life stuff in between, it takes me a whole evening or day. Suddenly I realize how awfully time passes. I sit there thinking of the next line of code to write and I may loose focus or daydream or play with something on my fingers for several minutes. And then I wake up and realize it and try to focus but my mind goes elsewhere.
To not misunderstand me, I don't want necessarily with this thread to focus on disorders (although it would be interesting), in the past I never thought I would fit the profile of an ADD person as I know it (especially not ADHD, I am the silent guy) but now I have noticed that something really bad is playing and I'd be just wondering whether there are some techniques to keep focused on the democoding and not snap out of it or if someone else experiences something similar and how he gets along with it.
However, a possibility is that I am simply absent minded in parts of coding where I don't have the best interest. I've been noticing at which coding sessions I am loosing it and at which I am really focused and produce a lot (this happens once in ten times). I may be coding a new effect (I tried the freedir tunnel we were discussing) but at some trivial parts with not much interest or not something new yet a bit tricky to think and needs brain energy I may be absent minded and taking 3 hours for trivial stuff of half an hour and not realizing it. The rare cases where I am really feeling productive are when I am experimenting with some crazy idea (usually on optimization) I just thought and really want to try. But when I just have to connect parts of demos or code trivial stuff I spent a lot of time. Another side I perform ok is when I have to copy-paste code (trivial but I don't have to put mind in it, just automation), ok lame. And also usually I keep daydreaming about a demo easilly but it's hard for me to sit down and work on it. When I daydream my mind works, when I sit down to code I flat out.
Also, there is always the same feeling. Maybe I used to oppress myself to code demos even when I didn't felt ok with it. I feel some pressure inside me, almost like psychosomatic, something telling me "Oh, I am bored to just sit here and code". At this part, of course, as expected, I get a lot of those absent minded where I sit down to code and everything goes wrong, my attention shifts to other things and I loose it. Ok, maybe this is just a way for myself to say "Knock it off, I don't want to code a demo right now. Give me something else to focus on!". But what?
Well, I do this thing too, what kept my mother worrying. But even then I just feel I don't get enough of my potential. Sometimes, I also wonder whether music or no music or other conditions would be more suitable or distract me but I haven't experimented really. I think the matter is also a matter of will, like I don't really want to code at specific time but I want to finish the demo in time.
I don't think it works for me. Usually I don't even consider trying. Once I was watching the Xardavellas show (with the paranormal shit) while trying to code something at the same time (hmm,. crazy, haven't done this before) and I couldn't focus at all (although I was trying to understand what they were saying on the show, not just as background noise)
Didn't considered that much before. But yes I remember once that some electronic music without lyrics worked very well, while some greek hip hop really killed my focus :P
However, I should still investigate which parts of coding gets me in the mood and which processes slows me down.
Cool, it sometimes works.
In some other times I am too lazy or feel oppressed that I won't even start, I won't even touch the compiler for a second for days. But if I touch it then magic happens. Although I avoid it. Maybe I am just lazy or don't really want to code a demo. Is there a cure?
Good, but the main problem happens when I am offline. We are not talking about defocus because of Pouet here.
Yes actually. We are not talking about the times I write on pouet where you'd think I should be doing something else. I am only talking about the specific time periods I sit down to code, I haven't opened any browser or anything, and my mind gets distracted, I simple have a bland look, I am absent minded for a long time. I don't mean being distracted by games/internet. It's just like an 8 hour, where 2 hours are coding and 6 hours are looking around and doing nothing (a bit exagerated) but all those 8 hours are me and the compiler and nothing else.
I'd like to stay in this point for a while and think about it. I have made this thought some months ago: Is it possible that someone might obsessively wish to release demos but not understanding that it's not what he exactly wants to do? I mean, is it possible that I THINK that I want to do demos, but I don't really understand it? Or I am in denial concerning this realization?
One possible explanation is that in the past I found the demoscene and wanted to make something (and maybe not explicitly liking every aspect of it but only some parts) and the primary reasons must be a meaning in my life, or gaining some self-esteem I lacked by releasing a demo. This might have become an obsession, a habit, waking every day and dreaming of demos I would like to do and become famous (although it wasn't 100% this, I also liked demos), especially I might have needed that. Nowadays, the old habit has remained as a bad virus in my brain, but maybe I don't explicitly need to code demos but I can try other things too. Although it's hard to kill the old habit. And the main question is where should I go? I mean, maybe I am afraid to 1) accept it, 2) leave back the demoscene which was always a primary source of meaning and self-esteem for me.
So, maybe it's possible that it's not the primary think I would wish to do, yet I can't let it go. And I still have ideas, it's not the I am bored, but the initial motivation is degraded while only the habit that makes me think I have to do demos remained.
I can't explain it elsewhere. If I wish to make demos and had it naturally I would have done it. Of course the same explanation could be used for every other aspect. If I struggle with being social or have it bad with girls, then maybe it's because it doesn't come to me naturally, so it shouldn't something that I have to do. Someone would disagree with this. Although lately I have no motivation for anything. I have nowhere to go..
Hello. I just observed the real reason why I suck at democoding. Or why I do not exactly suck at coding itself but in productivity, in results, in creating a good solid demo and in time. It is something I have noticed several times in the past but bypassed it for some reasons, never gave it enough attention. But now I had greater awareness of it and I was shocked.
I simply sit down to code something and it takes me 4+ times more to finish it than what it should originally take. Something that would take 1-2 hours and I could simply do more stuff or even do different real life stuff in between, it takes me a whole evening or day. Suddenly I realize how awfully time passes. I sit there thinking of the next line of code to write and I may loose focus or daydream or play with something on my fingers for several minutes. And then I wake up and realize it and try to focus but my mind goes elsewhere.
To not misunderstand me, I don't want necessarily with this thread to focus on disorders (although it would be interesting), in the past I never thought I would fit the profile of an ADD person as I know it (especially not ADHD, I am the silent guy) but now I have noticed that something really bad is playing and I'd be just wondering whether there are some techniques to keep focused on the democoding and not snap out of it or if someone else experiences something similar and how he gets along with it.
However, a possibility is that I am simply absent minded in parts of coding where I don't have the best interest. I've been noticing at which coding sessions I am loosing it and at which I am really focused and produce a lot (this happens once in ten times). I may be coding a new effect (I tried the freedir tunnel we were discussing) but at some trivial parts with not much interest or not something new yet a bit tricky to think and needs brain energy I may be absent minded and taking 3 hours for trivial stuff of half an hour and not realizing it. The rare cases where I am really feeling productive are when I am experimenting with some crazy idea (usually on optimization) I just thought and really want to try. But when I just have to connect parts of demos or code trivial stuff I spent a lot of time. Another side I perform ok is when I have to copy-paste code (trivial but I don't have to put mind in it, just automation), ok lame. And also usually I keep daydreaming about a demo easilly but it's hard for me to sit down and work on it. When I daydream my mind works, when I sit down to code I flat out.
Also, there is always the same feeling. Maybe I used to oppress myself to code demos even when I didn't felt ok with it. I feel some pressure inside me, almost like psychosomatic, something telling me "Oh, I am bored to just sit here and code". At this part, of course, as expected, I get a lot of those absent minded where I sit down to code and everything goes wrong, my attention shifts to other things and I loose it. Ok, maybe this is just a way for myself to say "Knock it off, I don't want to code a demo right now. Give me something else to focus on!". But what?
Well, I do this thing too, what kept my mother worrying. But even then I just feel I don't get enough of my potential. Sometimes, I also wonder whether music or no music or other conditions would be more suitable or distract me but I haven't experimented really. I think the matter is also a matter of will, like I don't really want to code at specific time but I want to finish the demo in time.
I don't think it works for me. Usually I don't even consider trying. Once I was watching the Xardavellas show (with the paranormal shit) while trying to code something at the same time (hmm,. crazy, haven't done this before) and I couldn't focus at all (although I was trying to understand what they were saying on the show, not just as background noise)
Didn't considered that much before. But yes I remember once that some electronic music without lyrics worked very well, while some greek hip hop really killed my focus :P
However, I should still investigate which parts of coding gets me in the mood and which processes slows me down.
Cool, it sometimes works.
In some other times I am too lazy or feel oppressed that I won't even start, I won't even touch the compiler for a second for days. But if I touch it then magic happens. Although I avoid it. Maybe I am just lazy or don't really want to code a demo. Is there a cure?
Good, but the main problem happens when I am offline. We are not talking about defocus because of Pouet here.
Yes actually. We are not talking about the times I write on pouet where you'd think I should be doing something else. I am only talking about the specific time periods I sit down to code, I haven't opened any browser or anything, and my mind gets distracted, I simple have a bland look, I am absent minded for a long time. I don't mean being distracted by games/internet. It's just like an 8 hour, where 2 hours are coding and 6 hours are looking around and doing nothing (a bit exagerated) but all those 8 hours are me and the compiler and nothing else.
I'd like to stay in this point for a while and think about it. I have made this thought some months ago: Is it possible that someone might obsessively wish to release demos but not understanding that it's not what he exactly wants to do? I mean, is it possible that I THINK that I want to do demos, but I don't really understand it? Or I am in denial concerning this realization?
One possible explanation is that in the past I found the demoscene and wanted to make something (and maybe not explicitly liking every aspect of it but only some parts) and the primary reasons must be a meaning in my life, or gaining some self-esteem I lacked by releasing a demo. This might have become an obsession, a habit, waking every day and dreaming of demos I would like to do and become famous (although it wasn't 100% this, I also liked demos), especially I might have needed that. Nowadays, the old habit has remained as a bad virus in my brain, but maybe I don't explicitly need to code demos but I can try other things too. Although it's hard to kill the old habit. And the main question is where should I go? I mean, maybe I am afraid to 1) accept it, 2) leave back the demoscene which was always a primary source of meaning and self-esteem for me.
So, maybe it's possible that it's not the primary think I would wish to do, yet I can't let it go. And I still have ideas, it's not the I am bored, but the initial motivation is degraded while only the habit that makes me think I have to do demos remained.
I can't explain it elsewhere. If I wish to make demos and had it naturally I would have done it. Of course the same explanation could be used for every other aspect. If I struggle with being social or have it bad with girls, then maybe it's because it doesn't come to me naturally, so it shouldn't something that I have to do. Someone would disagree with this. Although lately I have no motivation for anything. I have nowhere to go..
Hello. I just observed the real reason why I suck at democoding. Or why I do not exactly suck at coding itself but in productivity, in results, in creating a good solid demo and in time. It is something I have noticed several times in the past but bypassed it for some reasons, never gave it enough attention. But now I had greater awareness of it and I was shocked.
I simply sit down to code something and it takes me 4+ times more to finish it than what it should originally take. Something that would take 1-2 hours and I could simply do more stuff or even do different real life stuff in between, it takes me a whole evening or day. Suddenly I realize how awfully time passes. I sit there thinking of the next line of code to write and I may loose focus or daydream or play with something on my fingers for several minutes. And then I wake up and realize it and try to focus but my mind goes elsewhere.
To not misunderstand me, I don't want necessarily with this thread to focus on disorders (although it would be interesting), in the past I never thought I would fit the profile of an ADD person as I know it (especially not ADHD, I am the silent guy) but now I have noticed that something really bad is playing and I'd be just wondering whether there are some techniques to keep focused on the democoding and not snap out of it or if someone else experiences something similar and how he gets along with it.
However, a possibility is that I am simply absent minded in parts of coding where I don't have the best interest. I've been noticing at which coding sessions I am loosing it and at which I am really focused and produce a lot (this happens once in ten times). I may be coding a new effect (I tried the freedir tunnel we were discussing) but at some trivial parts with not much interest or not something new yet a bit tricky to think and needs brain energy I may be absent minded and taking 3 hours for trivial stuff of half an hour and not realizing it. The rare cases where I am really feeling productive are when I am experimenting with some crazy idea (usually on optimization) I just thought and really want to try. But when I just have to connect parts of demos or code trivial stuff I spent a lot of time. Another side I perform ok is when I have to copy-paste code (trivial but I don't have to put mind in it, just automation), ok lame. And also usually I keep daydreaming about a demo easilly but it's hard for me to sit down and work on it. When I daydream my mind works, when I sit down to code I flat out.
Also, there is always the same feeling. Maybe I used to oppress myself to code demos even when I didn't felt ok with it. I feel some pressure inside me, almost like psychosomatic, something telling me "Oh, I am bored to just sit here and code". At this part, of course, as expected, I get a lot of those absent minded where I sit down to code and everything goes wrong, my attention shifts to other things and I loose it. Ok, maybe this is just a way for myself to say "Knock it off, I don't want to code a demo right now. Give me something else to focus on!". But what?
Well, I do this thing too, what kept my mother worrying. But even then I just feel I don't get enough of my potential. Sometimes, I also wonder whether music or no music or other conditions would be more suitable or distract me but I haven't experimented really. I think the matter is also a matter of will, like I don't really want to code at specific time but I want to finish the demo in time.
I don't think it works for me. Usually I don't even consider trying. Once I was watching the Xardavellas show (with the paranormal shit) while trying to code something at the same time (hmm,. crazy, haven't done this before) and I couldn't focus at all (although I was trying to understand what they were saying on the show, not just as background noise)
Didn't considered that much before. But yes I remember once that some electronic music without lyrics worked very well, while some greek hip hop really killed my focus :P
However, I should still investigate which parts of coding gets me in the mood and which processes slows me down.
Cool, it sometimes works.
In some other times I am too lazy or feel oppressed that I won't even start, I won't even touch the compiler for a second for days. But if I touch it then magic happens. Although I avoid it. Maybe I am just lazy or don't really want to code a demo. Is there a cure?
Good, but the main problem happens when I am offline. We are not talking about defocus because of Pouet here.
Yes actually. We are not talking about the times I write on pouet where you'd think I should be doing something else. I am only talking about the specific time periods I sit down to code, I haven't opened any browser or anything, and my mind gets distracted, I simple have a bland look, I am absent minded for a long time. I don't mean being distracted by games/internet. It's just like an 8 hour, where 2 hours are coding and 6 hours are looking around and doing nothing (a bit exagerated) but all those 8 hours are me and the compiler and nothing else.
I'd like to stay in this point for a while and think about it. I have made this thought some months ago: Is it possible that someone might obsessively wish to release demos but not understanding that it's not what he exactly wants to do? I mean, is it possible that I THINK that I want to do demos, but I don't really understand it? Or I am in denial concerning this realization?
One possible explanation is that in the past I found the demoscene and wanted to make something (and maybe not explicitly liking every aspect of it but only some parts) and the primary reasons must be a meaning in my life, or gaining some self-esteem I lacked by releasing a demo. This might have become an obsession, a habit, waking every day and dreaming of demos I would like to do and become famous (although it wasn't 100% this, I also liked demos), especially I might have needed that. Nowadays, the old habit has remained as a bad virus in my brain, but maybe I don't explicitly need to code demos but I can try other things too. Although it's hard to kill the old habit. And the main question is where should I go? I mean, maybe I am afraid to 1) accept it, 2) leave back the demoscene which was always a primary source of meaning and self-esteem for me.
So, maybe it's possible that it's not the primary think I would wish to do, yet I can't let it go. And I still have ideas, it's not the I am bored, but the initial motivation is degraded while only the habit that makes me think I have to do demos remained.
I can't explain it elsewhere. If I wish to make demos and had it naturally I would have done it. Of course the same explanation could be used for every other aspect. If I struggle with being social or have it bad with girls, then maybe it's because it doesn't come to me naturally, so it shouldn't something that I have to do. Someone would disagree with this. Although lately I have no motivation for anything. I have nowhere to go..
Hello. I just observed the real reason why I suck at democoding. Or why I do not exactly suck at coding itself but in productivity, in results, in creating a good solid demo and in time. It is something I have noticed several times in the past but bypassed it for some reasons, never gave it enough attention. But now I had greater awareness of it and I was shocked.
I simply sit down to code something and it takes me 4+ times more to finish it than what it should originally take. Something that would take 1-2 hours and I could simply do more stuff or even do different real life stuff in between, it takes me a whole evening or day. Suddenly I realize how awfully time passes. I sit there thinking of the next line of code to write and I may loose focus or daydream or play with something on my fingers for several minutes. And then I wake up and realize it and try to focus but my mind goes elsewhere.
To not misunderstand me, I don't want necessarily with this thread to focus on disorders (although it would be interesting), in the past I never thought I would fit the profile of an ADD person as I know it (especially not ADHD, I am the silent guy) but now I have noticed that something really bad is playing and I'd be just wondering whether there are some techniques to keep focused on the democoding and not snap out of it or if someone else experiences something similar and how he gets along with i
What havoc said.
are lazy or what, at the minimum you should've suffix-sorted the drivel and then given us a random walk through the resulting array.
This thread devides by zero.
Isn't "attention whore" the right term?
