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Relationship breakup, what next?

category: offtopic [glöplog]
After 7 years, my gf also broke up with me, which left me in quite an empty hole. But... use it to your advantage. The first week or so, I didn't know what to do. I cried and made stupid things like trying to call her, trying to call her uncle (wtf? xD) and stuff like that.

But what's over, is over. The faster one realizes this, the faster you can take the neccessary measurements like:

- Deleting her number.
- Blocking her on everywhere (facebook, what's app, whatevs).
- Throwing everything that belongs to her out.

Only after that's done, you can start to finally do things, you always wanted to do. Wanted to lose some weight? Perfect time now. The feeling you have right now, will make you do things, that were previously nigh impossible. I formyself lost 15 kg in 1 Month and finally made my driver's license with 29 years. xD It gives you something to do and keeps your mind busy.

Then, when you actually feel better, just go out. Don't hesitate to call old friends or such. Good friends will always be there for you, even after 10 years of silence, imho. And then, slowly, but surely, you will try to get a new one. After all you are a man and have certain needs, I hope. :p

And once these needs are taken care of, you can look for a new (and better) love. And it definitely will be better. After every breakup I found a girl even better than the one before, which is a) cool and b) made me think about "What IS love actually?"...

Good luck!
added on the 2013-07-04 13:48:45 by elend elend
Last month me and my gf where 20 years together.


thats all i wanted to share.
added on the 2013-07-04 14:20:03 by alien^PDX alien^PDX
i also found a lot of consolidation in listening to gregorian chanting. so after two weeks, i bought a robe and wizard hat. only to discover gregorians chanters dont wear hats, but i couldnt recoup the money as i had already lost the bill. but in that period i really discovered myself and now i am dating my best friends diagonally across neighbour Bruno who used to work a Dominos before the crisis made him unemployed. i am really happy now and breaking up with my then girlfriend last year was the best thing that ever happened to me!
added on the 2013-07-04 14:34:16 by Maali Maali
What I've been listening for the most during the last week was Jarre's Concert in China album. Round and round 20x in my iPod :) It helps me in some way to feel better and to be dreamy.
added on the 2013-07-04 14:50:30 by Aki Aki
Jarre is a perfect heartache soundtrack indeed. I don't know how often I listened to Rendez-Vous on loop after some bad stuff happened lovewise.
added on the 2013-07-04 15:23:43 by kb_ kb_
Oh I see what elend did. "Baby don't hurt me, no more".

No actually the things elend are saying are rather interesting...

Quote:

After every breakup I found a girl even better than the one before


Maybe it's because most new relationship are started on better definitions as you know more about yourself and what you're looking for in a relationship.

I remember my ex was always bitching about the fact I wanted to have more time for myself. You know how relations start, you want to see each others everyday and you forget your hobbies for a moment and after a while, it starts scratching the back of your head and you start to tell her you have projects in your head and your girlfriend might start bitching about the fact you just don't care about her anylonger (don't tell me I'm the only one it happened to)

Then, the next relationship you'll have will be set differently... you'll be rather direct at the beginning of the relation, try to take some "distance" even if you want to see her, and make sure she understands you have a lot of passions and projects.

Thing is, you should never avoid telling your girlfriend the truth. If she calls you and ask "why not having a drink or two, go out for a party" while you were actually working on something that you REALLY want to finish, you have to tell her... don't just say "ok" and then regret... because, at some point, you'll keep it in mind and start feeling frustrated and the fault might be just yours, because you didn't tell her what you really wanted.

(I'm talking about girlfriends but this works in the two ways obviously)
added on the 2013-07-04 16:47:29 by __ __
I have a girlfriend for more than 3 years now, no one really knows how that works. That's all I wanted to share.
added on the 2013-07-04 23:25:11 by xernobyl xernobyl
just think of all the girls you're going to date from now on.
this newfound freedom may feel wrong for a good amount of time, but as most of the guys in here said, things can only and will get better.
added on the 2013-07-05 01:03:07 by dalezy dalezy
@knl: Yeah, it most probably has the most to do with ones self and how you change over time and get to know yourself better. Also with every girl you get a bit more confident and thus attract other girls as a result.

Yet, it really got me thinking. I really thought I love her and actually wanted to stay with her for the rest of my life. Then, after she was gone I found that other girl some time later and she was even more incredible. So, did I love the first girl at all? Did I or we both change so much, that it just didn't work anymore, and do I have to "try" girl after girl now - since I am still changing - until I run out of time and "just stick with one"? :D
added on the 2013-07-05 09:42:45 by elend elend
I decided to stick with one, knowing much of the others are as fucked up as mine :)

But hey, that could also be like that because I'm just 165cm and never attracted girls... so I don't even feel like I'm trapped into a long-term relationship. I guess it's harder to stick with one when you're handsome :)
added on the 2013-07-05 11:32:07 by __ __
"Relationship breakup, what next?"=>

says yourself it could be worse, you could have been married and that *** (censored) could have go away with your childrens, money, house and personal belongings.
added on the 2013-07-05 12:50:12 by Tigrou Tigrou
Tigrou: tell us more about your view on women.
added on the 2013-07-05 12:58:38 by Gargaj Gargaj
If it had happened to you, you'd think the same I believe.

Though these situations become rarer and there's a lot of legal ways to get into a 50/50 arrangement but in a divorce, both camps can be bitchy.

It's only for some years that some men are given the right to raise the kids... before, it was always given to the women considering they got a better feeling at raising kids.

So yes, if it had happened to anybody (men or women), I'd totally understand anybody going mad and rant about the other camp.
added on the 2013-07-05 13:08:58 by __ __
added on the 2013-07-05 13:37:38 by Zavie Zavie
Breakup is shit, just like "exclusive" relationships in general. It's just violence that nobody should ever do.
added on the 2013-07-05 15:24:03 by vibrator vibrator
Have open, fluent relationships WITH MANY PEOPLE AT ONCE.

THAT works.
added on the 2013-07-05 15:24:27 by vibrator vibrator
Dude, that's just like saying "religion worked for me".
added on the 2013-07-05 15:39:50 by __ __
Thanks for inspiring my new avatar.
added on the 2013-07-05 21:37:44 by merkur merkur
Quote:
After every breakup I found a girl even better than the one before

that's bullshit. every 'new girl' brings a new context. considering you need change, obviously you dig the new. also. love is not a competition, it's about finding someone who supports you without changing who you are.
added on the 2013-07-06 00:38:27 by Maali Maali
Wow! Your last line wasn't trolling :)
added on the 2013-07-06 01:10:02 by Optimus Optimus
I'm guessing there are many people who openly and fluently cross the road when they see 1 or 2 of the posters here approaching.
added on the 2013-07-06 01:27:30 by ringofyre ringofyre
Let me show you some insightful and partly mind-blowing sayings and quotes that helped and still help me deal with such a situation (only a small, hand-selected subset, promised!). May they provide a fresh perspective to start from.

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added on the 2013-07-06 01:28:35 by Y0Gi Y0Gi
Oh and +1 for maali.
^ That's got to be a first!
added on the 2013-07-06 01:28:51 by ringofyre ringofyre
what do you think this is, google plus? pls
added on the 2013-07-06 04:26:51 by shuffle2 shuffle2
If you mean me shuffle2 - I'm pretty sure "+1" has been part of the lexicon before g+ came along, to mean - "I agree with what the mentioned poster is saying". I have to be honest - never thought I'd use it in relation to a maali post tbh!
Otherwise Y0Gi went a bit tumblr on us, but that's ok - the sentiment was there and that surely counts more than just posting sarcastic comments. Yeah?
added on the 2013-07-06 07:00:21 by ringofyre ringofyre

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