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Going to parties with a social phobia

category: parties [glöplog]
If it's a joke for you, the please just kindly leave the topic.
Saga: speaking of which...could please next time stay on the actual topic instead of attacking ad hominem. It's not the first time. If you don't agree with me, at least you could respond with some arguments to the _topic_ and I believe I actually did provide some point of view here. If you don't like it or feel bad about my opinions, you are also free to ignore, you know.
added on the 2016-02-02 13:43:04 by tomkh tomkh
To step ahead...maybe it's not ad hominem,but asking a person to leave the discussion is just not an argument.
added on the 2016-02-02 13:47:06 by tomkh tomkh
He's not wrong tho. You don't HAVE to take part in every discussion.
added on the 2016-02-02 14:10:44 by Gargaj Gargaj
You don't HAVE to take part in every discussion.

let's beat the dead horse again..
wasn't it you who first tried move this topic into about frauster syndrome..
added on the 2016-02-02 14:22:55 by 1in10 1in10
Yes I'm overthinking it. The Wild category is always good alternative, in fact and afaik I never made a wild, so why not to try.

The Batman demo is a damn good masterpiece. I can't judge my own track, but I must say I'd make some details on the music in a different way today, but let it be. As one of my friends said - it's a pity that demos can't be versioned. Then you'd had the Batman demo v2.0 and v3.5 with some changes and optimizations :)

@Pulkomandy: Thanks! The given hand always depends on coders' skills. I'm not asking anyone like "hey, i got an idea for a cool effect, will you code it?". That's ungrateful. To be honest I never behaved like this even in real life.

Sometimes, people ask for a music. I try to comply, but sometimes there are too many requests at once. And I'm lazy and I can't compose music every day. It depends on a mood with combination of idea and inspiration AND if I have the proper computer system nearby. This can be solved by emulators, tho, but a calm place for composing isn't everywhere - I can't compose at a party because of too much noise around even with headphones, for example, however I'll do trying to feel more unstressed due to the anxiety. Which coheres with people around me and actually all this topic.

On parties, I came for demos. Then I found out people around demos mostly cool. Demos are cool, but people too. Some of them are even cooler. But hey, there's my Lady Anxiety. She holds me all the time. The more unknown people around, the more chains she's wrapping me into. So your turn first. Otherwise I'll stay on my chair staring to the computer screen. Exaggerating a bit, but still.
added on the 2016-02-02 14:26:35 by Aki Aki
tomkh: Telling someone to leave the discussion when they even themselves state that they have nothing to contribute is not exactly ad hominem (aka what Gargaj said).
There's no reason why demos can't be versioned. I've been thinking of making a "greatest hits" demo with my best effects from over the years, a few new ones and a lot of "remastering".

Demos can be whatever you want.
added on the 2016-02-02 14:57:23 by Preacher Preacher
I see your annoyance, but...
I did say (if you read closely) few hints how to actually overcome lack of confidence in your work, productions and even yourself, which is I believe an important factor to not be afraid to show something at the party and also visit the party place without fear.
The "imposter syndrome" is of course real and relevant to the discussion.
How I see it is, first you need to find a passion towards programming/art/music. If you don't have a passion, forget it, you will not go far.
Then you need to dedicate yourself. And here the honest work is crucial (from very basics without copy/pasting) and slowly give you confidence. You will never get full confidence first, as it will be even unhealthy and delusional.
Another thing to keep in mind as well is to not whine about yourself too much, i.e. focus on the goal/message you want to convey and not so much your ego.
Focusing too much on your ego surely gives you mixed assessments, from impostor to "master of the universe" delusion.

Also, Gargaj is right, obviously I don't have to take part in every pouet discussion, and last time I checked, I didn't.
added on the 2016-02-02 15:00:31 by tomkh tomkh
i think there are 2 ways in demoscene of looking creation.
copypastes and the originators.

copypastes combine already found ways to do new.
originators go deeper to understand how things work to do new.
both are able to do shitty prods and great prods.

i think fraudster syndrome is more to do with validation process.
what is the x of success. talking about games industry is to talk about cult marketing/propaganda. being the king of apes can feel like a fraud.

not just one way..many, sometimes opposing possibilities.
and this was simplified. lets not fight over things we can't grasp as whole.
added on the 2016-02-02 15:02:51 by 1in10 1in10
tomkh: after you wrote "I did say (if you read closely)" i couldn't help myself from not giving a toss about your actual argument anymore. people told me you're really a good guy, but my god, do you manage to hide that well behind such utterly pedantic statements.
added on the 2016-02-02 15:43:43 by havoc havoc
havoc: yes, I agree, I have my issues, quite few times I overreacted or said things I actually regret, but the discussion is not about me, is it?
added on the 2016-02-02 16:15:04 by tomkh tomkh
tomkh: you're right of course, this was clearly a deviation from the thread topic. but i'm glad i said it anyway because your reaction confirms that it makes sense for me to continue taking your opinions seriously and read through the lines around them with a +200% positivity filter ;)
added on the 2016-02-02 16:49:50 by havoc havoc
havoc: it's true that my comments tend to be unreasonably harsh from time to time, it's some shit that you kind of acquire from Eastern-European education system, but yeah, maybe let's not go into details in this thread. Looking introspectively, your diagnose to put positivity filter might be very correct.
added on the 2016-02-02 17:14:17 by tomkh tomkh
I wanted to post something epic and deep, and then realized that it had already been written by others before :)

That being said, I think the STNICCC party last month was kind of an eye opener in relation to the topic of imposter/greatness/lameness when you see some kind of informal hierarchy where people who have been releasing a crapton of great things for years and years are super happy and feeling very humbled when posing for photos with their childhood Atari ST demoscene idols :)
added on the 2016-02-02 17:18:28 by Dbug Dbug
A good starting point in case you don´t feel like releasing proper stuff for whatever reason are the fun/fast competitions: No preparations needed, everything happens right in time, and it´s all about making something in a very short time rather than going for perfection (which is basically unreachable since that goal can be stretched infinitely anyway ;)
added on the 2016-02-02 21:59:27 by T$ T$
packt doch einfach mal eure sextanerpimmelchen ein. echt jetzt.
added on the 2016-02-03 00:34:49 by groepaz groepaz
groepaz wins the thread.
added on the 2016-02-03 00:38:41 by wysiwtf wysiwtf
making demoscene productions that really impress others take time, practice, devotion and skill. until then, time, practice, devotion and skill require enjoying that process. you need to enjoy that learning process. (passion aside, a passion can be passive) frankly from a personal point, it's the plateaus within the learning process that are the real mood killers that sometimes turn this hobby in a certain love-hate relationship.
For me, when I'm doing something for the scene I always do it with passion. For a musician there's an advantage that the music he creates he can also use for other than demoscene purposes.
added on the 2016-02-03 09:42:58 by Aki Aki
Ok, I think I slowly start to see where the _real_ problem is.
It might be that historically and still in some circles coding profession seem to be more important and prestigious than music/gfx. This may put a pressure on sensitive artistic souls so even if they don't really want/like to code, they will try and sometimes develop love-hate relationship with it (as Maali says). While that's okay to try, I don't think it is reasonable to think coding profession is superior. On one hand it gives you more power and flexibility than just waiting for a coder to add feature to a tool, but at the cost of having no time for the actual art. However, as demoscene is rather an exception, in cg industry tools are already so developed that you mostly need a guy doing small scripts than actual low-level programming. And for the artist to learn the scripting language in 3dsMax or Maya is definitely a big win, even if he doesn't have so much passion towards it.
added on the 2016-02-03 11:21:31 by tomkh tomkh
Ok, I think I slowly start to see where the _real_ problem is.

I think the _real_ problem is stated in the topic and it's called social phobia.

I code demos because I want to do that. I think its fun and I enjoy the learning. No one forces me to code demos not even social pressure (quite opposite actually). I don't code because I have to but because I want to. However, I'm still afraid of people. Being afraid of people != person who don't like to code.
added on the 2016-02-03 21:26:32 by rimina rimina
rimina: The topic was going side-ways for a while anyway. And it wasn't me who started ;)
But speaking of which, big parties are not my cup of tea, not because I'm afraid of people, more like I don't really belong to all those cool/underground/stylish folks, as I'm just an ordinary boring citizen. In reality I'm so boring and bored that I even find pouet discussion as the most exciting part of my day, but as some noticed already - I should stop ^^
added on the 2016-02-03 23:10:10 by tomkh tomkh
@tomkh: Or you can open a new thread. It's better this way. Every digression on a topic involves a risk of thread derailment. :)
added on the 2016-02-04 00:53:18 by ham ham
in the en the handsome man wins the lady
added on the 2016-02-04 03:55:58 by superplek superplek


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