A State of Panic
category: general [glöplog]
c
i think to be happy is really akin to knowing what's really meaningful to one's life. Happiness as i experience it is not a state of being but tiny points along a time axis. :) you only know you were happy, when the moment is already over.
to think that something really matters is not like that but similar with a lager time-scale. the feeling that something is really important can grow really fast and then slowly fades away. that can be years, months or days but sometime later it just is not that meaningful anymore. it can come back though.
my example would be playing the guitar. i started when i was 19 years old and what followed was a period of time when i was as passionate about learning that instrument and just practicing the same lines over and over again. i just felt necessary. years later i noticed i was just grabbing the guitar because i was used to it. it became an empty ritual.
after some time while the instrument just collected dust i listened to some baroque lute music this year, that i never heard before and i was forced to look up the sheetmusic and start again. :)
the happy moments are rare when the stuff you do becomes more and more unimportant to you, so there is another relation between the two.
to think that something really matters is not like that but similar with a lager time-scale. the feeling that something is really important can grow really fast and then slowly fades away. that can be years, months or days but sometime later it just is not that meaningful anymore. it can come back though.
my example would be playing the guitar. i started when i was 19 years old and what followed was a period of time when i was as passionate about learning that instrument and just practicing the same lines over and over again. i just felt necessary. years later i noticed i was just grabbing the guitar because i was used to it. it became an empty ritual.
after some time while the instrument just collected dust i listened to some baroque lute music this year, that i never heard before and i was forced to look up the sheetmusic and start again. :)
the happy moments are rare when the stuff you do becomes more and more unimportant to you, so there is another relation between the two.
happiness is stumbling on that chocolate box you had hidden and forgotten :)
You eat rotten chocolate? ;)
answer, atm. art and a girl who i think is the most beautiful girl ever :)
but i don't know really. i just want to be happy and not feeling depressed all the time or feel mood swings so rapidly. and i want to accept myself and don't feel like i'm disgusting when i look at the mirror. so i want to be happy and i want happiness. that's all what matters in this world at least to me. and ofcourse i want to go work and feel happy and don't feel like shit after day...
well, xernobyl had a point.
eh fuck, i meant xenusion.
first timer for him, btw.
first timer for him, btw.
The initial question was: What do you think what matters in your life and in this world?
The things that matter in this world are neither supposed to make you happy, nor to make you unhappy. They just
matter. That means, those things have some kind of meaning; that they are important in some way. Regarding something
as important, as meaningful, is a highly subjective, personal decision.
Either that, or absolutely everything that exists is of the same importance, ...or futility.
So let's just assume that any statement about "what matters in this world" is inseperably connected to the person
making it. It should also be noted that a depressive person has a tendency to see futility everywhere, a happy
idealist sees meaning everywhere, and a balanced person will most likely have different opinions about what is to
what extend important (which continuously change over time).
Now the personal part, which you were asking for.
Due to my hang for closely watching myself, and the weird things that go on in my head all the time, I figured that
i repeatedly switch between seeing the world and its contents as "futile", "totally meaningful" and "balanced".
Which leads me to understanding the question after "What matters?" as a pretty meaningless question to ask. I also
proved to myself that I am able to _decide_ what is meaningful, and what is not (doesn't always work, sadly ;). The
latter ability can actually help me to get out of dark moods sometimes (and the other way round).
Still, I often feel an urge to better understand "what matters", to breathe in the meaning of which I so much hope,
it exists. When this urge becomes a struggle, I feel all the more farther away from the meaning I seek, and I can
keep going like that all the way to the brink of despair. Whenever I get there, there always comes the point where I
decide to stop going that destructive path, and this - almost instantly - makes me happy then. Can't really say
_why_ it happens that way, but it does, and it makes perfect sense (in some way that has to be experienced and can
not be told by words). This is the moment when the "twisted and deformed truths" become simple and clear again,
while at the same time the need for writing them down vanishes.
I'm almost sure you experienced something like that in your life, too. You won't get any of your precious answers by
asking whatsoever many people.
Some people, like irokos, see meaning in the ongoing inner battle itself, and manage to accept it and be happy with
themselves the way they are. Others are just not able to do so, but also don't have any desire to. And still others
derived some pragmatic rules for their life, which keep them on a comfortable, enjoyable path. Yet more others
manage to change with their personal flow of experiencing meaning (like cp with his great guitar-learning-
experience). A few people despair over their quest for meaning, and kill themselves. There are even people who make
a good living with selling (fake-)meaning to others.
Well, the question what matters is something inherently human, something that drives people, makes them want to know
stuff, makes them achieve great art. To me, highly creative and intelligent people (whatever that means) often seem
a little more "battered" by this urge than "simple" people, who don't know so much of the world (or just are not
that arrogant ;). r.a.wilson and h.hesse and many others would agree with me there, i'm sure you know their work.
Are you unhappy with your situation (as you described it in your first post)? Or are you proud of it?
The things that matter in this world are neither supposed to make you happy, nor to make you unhappy. They just
matter. That means, those things have some kind of meaning; that they are important in some way. Regarding something
as important, as meaningful, is a highly subjective, personal decision.
Either that, or absolutely everything that exists is of the same importance, ...or futility.
So let's just assume that any statement about "what matters in this world" is inseperably connected to the person
making it. It should also be noted that a depressive person has a tendency to see futility everywhere, a happy
idealist sees meaning everywhere, and a balanced person will most likely have different opinions about what is to
what extend important (which continuously change over time).
Now the personal part, which you were asking for.
Due to my hang for closely watching myself, and the weird things that go on in my head all the time, I figured that
i repeatedly switch between seeing the world and its contents as "futile", "totally meaningful" and "balanced".
Which leads me to understanding the question after "What matters?" as a pretty meaningless question to ask. I also
proved to myself that I am able to _decide_ what is meaningful, and what is not (doesn't always work, sadly ;). The
latter ability can actually help me to get out of dark moods sometimes (and the other way round).
Still, I often feel an urge to better understand "what matters", to breathe in the meaning of which I so much hope,
it exists. When this urge becomes a struggle, I feel all the more farther away from the meaning I seek, and I can
keep going like that all the way to the brink of despair. Whenever I get there, there always comes the point where I
decide to stop going that destructive path, and this - almost instantly - makes me happy then. Can't really say
_why_ it happens that way, but it does, and it makes perfect sense (in some way that has to be experienced and can
not be told by words). This is the moment when the "twisted and deformed truths" become simple and clear again,
while at the same time the need for writing them down vanishes.
I'm almost sure you experienced something like that in your life, too. You won't get any of your precious answers by
asking whatsoever many people.
Some people, like irokos, see meaning in the ongoing inner battle itself, and manage to accept it and be happy with
themselves the way they are. Others are just not able to do so, but also don't have any desire to. And still others
derived some pragmatic rules for their life, which keep them on a comfortable, enjoyable path. Yet more others
manage to change with their personal flow of experiencing meaning (like cp with his great guitar-learning-
experience). A few people despair over their quest for meaning, and kill themselves. There are even people who make
a good living with selling (fake-)meaning to others.
Well, the question what matters is something inherently human, something that drives people, makes them want to know
stuff, makes them achieve great art. To me, highly creative and intelligent people (whatever that means) often seem
a little more "battered" by this urge than "simple" people, who don't know so much of the world (or just are not
that arrogant ;). r.a.wilson and h.hesse and many others would agree with me there, i'm sure you know their work.
Are you unhappy with your situation (as you described it in your first post)? Or are you proud of it?
(great, notepad fucked up my nice formatting)
there you go, the same in readable form:
The question was: What do you think what matters in your life and in this world?
The things that matter in this world are neither supposed to make you happy, nor to make you unhappy. They just matter. That means, those things have some kind of meaning; that they are important in some way. Regarding something as important, as meaningful, is a highly subjective, personal decision.
Either that, or absolutely everything that exists is of the same importance, ...or futility.
So let's just assume that any statement about "what matters in this world" is inseperably connected to the person making it. It should also be noted that a depressive person has a tendency to see futility everywhere, a happy idealist sees meaning everywhere, and a balanced person will most likely have different opinions about what is to what extend important (which continuously change over time).
Now the personal part, which you were asking for.
Due to my hang for closely watching myself, and the weird things that go on in my head all the time, I figured that i repeatedly switch between seeing the world and its contents as "futile", "totally meaningful" and "balanced". Which leads me to understanding the question after "What matters?" as a pretty meaningless question to ask. I also proved to myself that I am able to _decide_ what is meaningful, and what is not (doesn't always work, sadly ;). The latter ability can actually help me to get out of dark moods sometimes (and the other way round).
Still, I often feel an urge to better understand "what matters", to breathe in the meaning of which I so much hope, it exists. When this urge becomes a struggle, I feel all the more farther away from the meaning I seek, and I can keep going like that all the way to the brink of despair. Whenever I get there, there always comes the point where I decide to stop going that destructive path, and this - almost instantly - makes me happy then. Can't really say _why_ it happens that way, but it does, and it makes perfect sense (in some way that has to be experienced and can not be told by words). This is the moment when the "twisted and deformed truths" become simple and clear again, while at the same time the need for writing them down vanishes.
I'm almost sure you experienced something like that in your life, too. You won't get any of your precious answers by asking whatsoever many people.
Some people, like irokos, see meaning in the ongoing inner battle itself, and manage to accept it and be happy with themselves the way they are. Others are just not able to do so, but also don't have any desire to. And still others derived some pragmatic rules for their life, which keep them on a comfortable, enjoyable path. Yet more others manage to change with their personal flow of experiencing meaning (like cp with his great guitar-learning-experience). A few people despair over their quest for meaning, and kill themselves. There are even people who make a good living with selling (fake-)meaning to others.
Well, the question what matters is something inherently human, something that drives people, makes them want to know stuff, makes them achieve great art. To me, highly creative and intelligent people (whatever that means) often seem a little more "battered" by this urge than "simple" people, who don't know so much of the world (or just are not that arrogant ;). r.a.wilson and h.hesse and many others would agree with me there, i'm sure you know their work.
Are you unhappy with your situation (as you described it in your first post)? Or are you proud of it?
The question was: What do you think what matters in your life and in this world?
The things that matter in this world are neither supposed to make you happy, nor to make you unhappy. They just matter. That means, those things have some kind of meaning; that they are important in some way. Regarding something as important, as meaningful, is a highly subjective, personal decision.
Either that, or absolutely everything that exists is of the same importance, ...or futility.
So let's just assume that any statement about "what matters in this world" is inseperably connected to the person making it. It should also be noted that a depressive person has a tendency to see futility everywhere, a happy idealist sees meaning everywhere, and a balanced person will most likely have different opinions about what is to what extend important (which continuously change over time).
Now the personal part, which you were asking for.
Due to my hang for closely watching myself, and the weird things that go on in my head all the time, I figured that i repeatedly switch between seeing the world and its contents as "futile", "totally meaningful" and "balanced". Which leads me to understanding the question after "What matters?" as a pretty meaningless question to ask. I also proved to myself that I am able to _decide_ what is meaningful, and what is not (doesn't always work, sadly ;). The latter ability can actually help me to get out of dark moods sometimes (and the other way round).
Still, I often feel an urge to better understand "what matters", to breathe in the meaning of which I so much hope, it exists. When this urge becomes a struggle, I feel all the more farther away from the meaning I seek, and I can keep going like that all the way to the brink of despair. Whenever I get there, there always comes the point where I decide to stop going that destructive path, and this - almost instantly - makes me happy then. Can't really say _why_ it happens that way, but it does, and it makes perfect sense (in some way that has to be experienced and can not be told by words). This is the moment when the "twisted and deformed truths" become simple and clear again, while at the same time the need for writing them down vanishes.
I'm almost sure you experienced something like that in your life, too. You won't get any of your precious answers by asking whatsoever many people.
Some people, like irokos, see meaning in the ongoing inner battle itself, and manage to accept it and be happy with themselves the way they are. Others are just not able to do so, but also don't have any desire to. And still others derived some pragmatic rules for their life, which keep them on a comfortable, enjoyable path. Yet more others manage to change with their personal flow of experiencing meaning (like cp with his great guitar-learning-experience). A few people despair over their quest for meaning, and kill themselves. There are even people who make a good living with selling (fake-)meaning to others.
Well, the question what matters is something inherently human, something that drives people, makes them want to know stuff, makes them achieve great art. To me, highly creative and intelligent people (whatever that means) often seem a little more "battered" by this urge than "simple" people, who don't know so much of the world (or just are not that arrogant ;). r.a.wilson and h.hesse and many others would agree with me there, i'm sure you know their work.
Are you unhappy with your situation (as you described it in your first post)? Or are you proud of it?
Fitter, happier, more productive,
comfortable,
not drinking too much,
regular exercise at the gym
(3 days a week),
getting on better with your associate employee contemporaries ,
at ease,
eating well
(no more microwave dinners and saturated fats),
a patient better driver,
a safer car
(baby smiling in back seat),
sleeping well
(no bad dreams),
no paranoia,
careful to all animals
(never washing spiders down the plughole),
keep in contact with old friends
(enjoy a drink now and then),
will frequently check credit at
(moral) bank (hole in the wall),
favors for favors,
fond but not in love,
charity standing orders,
on Sundays ring road supermarket
(no killing moths or putting boiling water on the ants),
car wash
(also on Sundays),
no longer afraid of the dark or midday shadows
nothing so ridiculously teenage and desperate,
nothing so childish - at a better pace,
slower and more calculated,
no chance of escape,
now self-employed,
concerned (but powerless),
an empowered and informed member of society
(pragmatism not idealism),
will not cry in public,
less chance of illness,
tires that grip in the wet
(shot of baby strapped in back seat),
a good memory,
still cries at a good film,
still kisses with saliva,
no longer empty and frantic
like a cat
tied to a stick,
that's driven into
frozen winter shit
(the ability to laugh at weakness),
calm,
fitter,
healthier and more productive
a pig
in a cage
on antibiotics.
This is what matters in life. (c) Radiohead
comfortable,
not drinking too much,
regular exercise at the gym
(3 days a week),
getting on better with your associate employee contemporaries ,
at ease,
eating well
(no more microwave dinners and saturated fats),
a patient better driver,
a safer car
(baby smiling in back seat),
sleeping well
(no bad dreams),
no paranoia,
careful to all animals
(never washing spiders down the plughole),
keep in contact with old friends
(enjoy a drink now and then),
will frequently check credit at
(moral) bank (hole in the wall),
favors for favors,
fond but not in love,
charity standing orders,
on Sundays ring road supermarket
(no killing moths or putting boiling water on the ants),
car wash
(also on Sundays),
no longer afraid of the dark or midday shadows
nothing so ridiculously teenage and desperate,
nothing so childish - at a better pace,
slower and more calculated,
no chance of escape,
now self-employed,
concerned (but powerless),
an empowered and informed member of society
(pragmatism not idealism),
will not cry in public,
less chance of illness,
tires that grip in the wet
(shot of baby strapped in back seat),
a good memory,
still cries at a good film,
still kisses with saliva,
no longer empty and frantic
like a cat
tied to a stick,
that's driven into
frozen winter shit
(the ability to laugh at weakness),
calm,
fitter,
healthier and more productive
a pig
in a cage
on antibiotics.
This is what matters in life. (c) Radiohead
Jesus christ..
cp: i like what you said about the guitar and the datapoints. i think that's a satisfying answer.
uns3en: i know exactly how you are feeling and i can promise you that, especially you feel that way right now, there are some great surprises ahead. also, what you said made me feel less alone. thank you :)
(disclaimer: i should add that i'm very happy in my relationship. you can get love right, and feel good over there, but then there's still earning money and being creative that likes to be taken care off - in these regards, you often remain alone, as a businessman or artist.)
jco: at the moment, i'm more interested in the specifics than in the generics. when you try to express everything as true as possible, it usually tends to become quite general, and as a result, meaningless. asking other people can be a rewarding revelation. we humans are kind of incomplete without each other, only in our common context we can feel united. talking about these questions, which initially may seem to divide us, unites us. a hundred different answers build a firmament.
i can not really say how i feel about my situation. this thread is a part of figuring it all out. i used to have all the answers, but to know is to rest, and what rests is being eaten by the present. it seems to me as if life is a perpetual quest for meaning, for entertainment.
uns3en: i know exactly how you are feeling and i can promise you that, especially you feel that way right now, there are some great surprises ahead. also, what you said made me feel less alone. thank you :)
(disclaimer: i should add that i'm very happy in my relationship. you can get love right, and feel good over there, but then there's still earning money and being creative that likes to be taken care off - in these regards, you often remain alone, as a businessman or artist.)
jco: at the moment, i'm more interested in the specifics than in the generics. when you try to express everything as true as possible, it usually tends to become quite general, and as a result, meaningless. asking other people can be a rewarding revelation. we humans are kind of incomplete without each other, only in our common context we can feel united. talking about these questions, which initially may seem to divide us, unites us. a hundred different answers build a firmament.
i can not really say how i feel about my situation. this thread is a part of figuring it all out. i used to have all the answers, but to know is to rest, and what rests is being eaten by the present. it seems to me as if life is a perpetual quest for meaning, for entertainment.
oxb: heh, i found the track. quite unsettling. are you sure that this is what matters in life? ;)
yeah, I'm bored, where is my next drama! Ah, found it, that was easy. My life could be a bit less entertaining or should I say, a bit more relaxed. Everyday I make my own shocking blockbuster it's never the same and I must say, even I don't like it, that I appreciate it.
Making things simple and not complicated is a nice way to free my mind. My creativity fights with my inner chaos, so that there is mostly not enough strength to express myself in the outside world ( hmm..).
Yeah, I know there is no wall between inside and outside, they are both connected.
I know so much good advice, but in a bad mood, I don't take out my notebook and read my list of things that make me happy. They could help me, OH MY GOD.
Making things simple and not complicated is a nice way to free my mind. My creativity fights with my inner chaos, so that there is mostly not enough strength to express myself in the outside world ( hmm..).
Yeah, I know there is no wall between inside and outside, they are both connected.
I know so much good advice, but in a bad mood, I don't take out my notebook and read my list of things that make me happy. They could help me, OH MY GOD.
Gloom: yes, religion is comfort for millions in this forsaken world. Glad you mentioned it.
o/5 hyde
off-topic: Now that ryg mentioned guitar, how's your playing doing paniq?
(and yes, this is about guitar as well. Beautiful Martin D35 folk guitar)
I haven't read the whole thread but:
That is what matters most in my life and in my world.
Quote:
not thinking like this:I have to ask you, what do you think matters in your life and in this world?
Quote:
Although everyone is welcome to have thoughts like these, it not something that I allow in my reality. Everyday is better than the last one, no exceptions. And the last one was the best till now.there are times when i listen to my tunes and i think "i could never do something like that again".
That is what matters most in my life and in my world.
But how will you handle it when it goes downhill?
drugs?
graga: that guitar thing went not well. i enjoy playing it, but i seldom get the chance. it's more fun using my voice and a piano, i think.