Hobnobs With Satan [128byte] by Reservoir Gods [web]
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o HOBNOBS WITH SATAN o
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o A 128 Byte Intro o
o by ReservoirGods o
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As we all know, the prince of darkness is rather partial to the odd oatmeal
based biscuit. He even enslaved son-of-Rudyard Mr. Kipling to inflict Cake based
terror on the masses.
Imagine popping round to Lucifer's humble abode for a coffee morning and
stuffing your face with chocolate biccies whilst staring into the vortex of
despair. ( It's like Luton but bigger ).
As the crumbs fall into a hiccup in the space/time continuum they are stretched
into cobwebs spanning infinity. Their mass is reduced to zero whilst their size
envelops the universe.
"More Tea?" enquires Satan.
"No thanks, I've got plenty" you say nodding towards the bucket of hot liquid on
your armrest.
"Oh go on, go on." insists the bringer of misery.
You think it unwise to argue.
"And another biscuit?"
"Well.." you hesitate, eyeing a pile of biscuits the size of the Alps waiting to
be scoffed.
"You can never have too many hob-nobs." the toaster of humanity says with a
wink.
"The packets do seem to run out quickly..." you begin
"Packets! Pah! I get them by the factory load. I just send down some natural
disaster or plague onto the workers and whilst they are dying in agony I help
myself to a couple of lorry loads of the ginger magic!"
"I suppose that's one way of..."
"Perks of the job." remarks the ambassador of evil as he takes a large slurp of
tea. "Isn't PG tips great?"
"I don't want to know what you do to the monkeys to get so much!" you protest.
"Oh its nothing really." says the harbinger of destruction with a dismissive
wave of the hand. "On to more important matters. What do you think of that Tony
Blairs?"
"Erm..."
"He's a wonderful guy. I remember meeting him at a small but exclusive
restaurant in Islington - I was sorting out a particularly nasty bout of food
poisoning. He the glint of a megalomaniac in his eye, even then. I said to him,
Tony young lad all this could be yours. You give me socialism and I'll give you
great Britain. It was a great deal."
You sigh. "And I thought it was all down to Peter Mandelson."
The devil laughs nervously. "Oh no. Nasty piece of work he is, but quite
gormless. I'm not looking forward to him turning up."
"That won't be for ages though will it?"
An impish glint flickers across the lord of darkness's eyes. "Its sooner than
you think. The great millennium dome disaster! I can't wait! Now, more hob-
nobs?"
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HOBNOBS WITH SATAN
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What you will need:
o HASBRO "My Little Falcon030"
o A monitor capable of displaying colour images
o An FPU ( quite important this! )
o GEM 98 operating system
o A little patience
Switch your machine into 320x400 True Colour mode.
For desktop dads that is:
40 column
Interlace On (Double Line Off on VGA)
True colour mode
Run HOBNOBS.PRG
Watch and marvel!
Eat some hobnobs in some vicious recursive parody of life!
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HOBNOBS WITH SATAN
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Hobnobs with Satan was coded on a Wednesday afternoon.
MrPink adopted his new alter ego of FPU-DAD and starting bashing out many
strange instructions that all begin with the letter F.
FPUs are FABS.*
* NB Coders joke. Does not contain traces of humour in any sphere of society.
FABS converts the source operand to extended precision ( if necessary ) and
stores the absolute value of that number in the destination floating point
register after rounding the result to the precision selected in the floating
point control register. You can now laugh ( if necessary ).
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HOBNOBS WITH SATAN
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Contact:
mrpink_rg@hotmail.com [ FPU Jokes ]
sh3@zetnet.co.uk [ Camping Gear ]
msg_rg@hotmail.com [ Windscreen Photos ]
ripley_rg@hotmail.com [ Spare Monitors ]
http://www.acs.bolton.ac.uk/~msg1css/maison.htm
htpp://www.users.zetnet.co.uk/zmoe3/three.htm
Leon O'Reilly. Cwm Isaf. Abermule. Welshpool. Powys. Wales. SY15 6JL. UK
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HOBNOBS WITH SATAN [C] 1998 RESERVOIR GODS
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