Charcoal the early years by Dildo Fatwa [web]
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((( Fatwa ))) '
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(( 36ktro! )) '|| |||| ||. ||| ||| ||| '|| ||'
))) D|H|S ((( ' ||| ||||' ||||||| ||||||' '|||.
((( Compo ))) ||. .||' ||' ||| ||| ||| || '|||
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| { reated for the Dead Smackers website 10th annieversary compytition!
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'-.-' | =.
|eh '__'xplanation
What hoe! we crie, another fabby Dildo Fatwa producktion to grate your
eyes?! And this is teh first *intentional* 96ktro that weev made. Forget for
a minnit that the ground brakeing 'Bud teh Chud' demo slid comfortabley
under the limbo bar of 96k itself, as that wee only found out laters!
(Final noet:- As it turns out, thee finail paccked sieze slieds verry
komfortabley under 96k, moer like 36k!)
Al thee usual Dildo Fatwa traedmarx are there. The sharpened humour, the
mutilated ziks whic sound leik a krippled dog beging for mercy. Not to
mention the crumby ASCII art, which has bene deskribbed by soemone as being
as "Chepe as Chips!". Wev'e gone for a cartoon stripping format this time,
of one of our favouright anti-piracy ads of all time, soemthing which can
acurately be called "Charcoal's Early yeres!" This tels a tael of my
earlyest tiems as a market traeder, and teh crap wee used to get off the
ungraetful litel scum who called themselfs anti-piracy!
(Charcoal Patois mode off!) There is something of a story behind this
production. A tale which goes back several years, to the classic early days
of home computing. Sometime in the mid-eighties, the 'Federation Against
Software Theft' (F.A.S.T.) decided to spring their first systematic anti-
piracy campaign in the computer press of that time. Pretty soon, the pages
of 'Your Computer' and 'Popular Computing Weekly' were rife with little
cartoon tales of software wrongdoers, and the efforts of the fearless ELSPA
Youth (hem hem!) to bring them to justice.
The style and content, very much in the style of a comic for slightly older
children was intended to impress its message onto those gormless little
future consumers, who should have been buying up all the lame film licence
games in vast quantities, instead of copying 'warez'. (Interesting question,
did they call it "Warez" back in the olden days?)
Of course, F.A.S.T. managed to tick all the boxes marked "Cheesy",
"Patronising", "Unbelievable", "Nauseating", and "Sudden urge to piss
through the letterbox of F.A.S.T headquarters" in their presentation of this
campaign!
A large financial reward figured prominently at the end of all the adverts.
One of these even suggested that it was quite a neat idea to shop your
teacher to the police in revenge for his boring lessons to get this money! I
think they did that in Stalin's Russia as well, but you only got a medal for
it?
But the one which lodged hardest in my brain, to the point where a perfect
word-for-word recreation is made possible, is the 'market trader' ad... To
appreciate the full horror of it, you will have to run the demo of course.
It is interesting to note that most of the demo faithfully follows the
advert. The fun part is seeing where I've deviated from the script! Also the
endpart reflects a more realistic outcome from that of the original!
For nervous viewers, who might recall a certain "key moment" from our last
demo, the notorious 'Braekpoint '04 Invitro', they do not need to worry.
There is no "brown moneyshot" in this one! In fact, it is perfectly safe for
children of all ages!
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| = |
|_'_|ardware
Atari MC68k family of course!
Optimal configuration, Atari Falcon '030 at 16mhz, 4MB upward, VGA or RGB,
no special features like FPU needed..
Should also run on Atari STe... It's a little bit sluggish compared with the
Falcy, but good enough for people to get the joke! It shouldn't be memory
hungry, so 1MB machines are ok.
Any good emulation like STEEM.. I might suggest 16mhz is a good idea though?
Falcon Accelerator? Yep, seems to get on fine with both CT2 and CT60 without
any problems...
If you want a clean exit back to GEM, don't forget to run in ST medium or
low res. Gaah! got to get that fixed soon!
.--.
| _
'__]reets
Big hello's go to the following..
Mr Punk, Sparehen 3, NSG, Demmo, Nero, Straightengem, and all other Res
Bogs.. Will Mr Punk get an evening off from EA Games in 2004 or not?
"Challenge everything" my arse! - Er what about the stupid hours you make
people work? "Err not that one perhaps!"
Dead Smackers of course! Cool compo idea guys! I hope we're not the only
ones in the 96k demo, and I hope the quality of the other entries is so good
that we don't stand a chance of winning! Strange thing to wish for? Well
wild compo's are all very well, but to consider this the same as a real demo
would be too daft?!?
Amstrad Survivor, Meuhndog, Heinz Beanz CXT, a trio of current and former
diskmag people..
the Serious Cybernetics corp. RELEASE 'Beams' NOW! Free the Dusseldorf one!
(Or wherever it is that Ray comes from!)
YM Waterers, I don't think Pongo Snodgrass will be invited to do a zik for
these elite soundchip samurai hero's somehow!
Deezil and Devolution, We want more CT60 stuffs!
Earxwax, your sound to light machine for CT60 roxx! We made one of our own a
while back, without a computer. I blew a loud trombone next to a lightbulb,
and it flickered a lot in time with the music! Eventually it blew up though
:-(
Havuck, I hope we're having another Outline party next Easter :-)
Seetock and the Finnish scene. See you at Altered party 6. I don't think
we're entering for this one though! Just happy to sit back and let others do
the work... Then there is Marykloud! Phwooaar!!
Gravy and the Polski scene, good luck with Siliventure '04!
Oldskoolers, Leonard (Tramiel?) and Goonstick of Ulm. No more 16x16 sprite
records pleaaase!! (But you are more than welcome to make new demo stuffs!)
And the rest of you that I can't remember at the moment. I hope you "enjoy"
this production..
Didlo Fatwae in Novembre 2004..
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