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Charcoal the early years by Dildo Fatwa [web]

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    |#'.____  |#|---|#| |#|==|#| |#|    |#|___  |#|__|#| |#|==|#| |#|____
    |#######| |#|   |#| |#|  |#| |#|    |#####| |######| |#|  |#| |######|
     -------' '_'   '_' '_'  '_' '_'    '_____' '-____-' '_'  '_' '______'
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     (__ __) __ __  ___    ) __(  ______   _____  __     __  __
       ) (   )|=|(  |(=   ( |__  (  __  ) (  ___) )|     )|  |(
      '---' '-' '-' '--    ) ==(  )|  |(   )|    ( |    ( |  | )
                          ( |__  ( |==| ) ( |     )|___  )|__|(
 )))))       (((((         )___(  ):  :(   ):    (_____)(____  )
 ((((         ))))                                           |(
  )))) Dildo ((((                                            | )
  (((  Fatwa  )))                                             '
    ))       ((           |||  ||| .|||| .|||||. ||||||.  .||||'
   (( 36ktro! ))          '|| |||| ||.   ||| ||| ||| '||  ||'
   ))) D|H|S (((             ' ||| ||||' ||||||| ||||||'  '|||.
  (((  Compo  )))         ||. .||' ||'   ||| ||| ||| ||     '|||
  ))))       ((((          '||||'  '|||| ||' '|| ||| '||. .||||'
 ((((         ))))
  (((((     )))))


 .--.
 | { reated for the Dead Smackers website 10th annieversary compytition!
 '__`


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 '-.-'   | =.
   |eh   '__'xplanation

What  hoe!  we  crie,  another  fabby Dildo Fatwa producktion to grate  your
eyes?! And this is teh first *intentional* 96ktro that weev made. Forget for
a  minnit  that the ground brakeing 'Bud teh Chud'  demo  slid  comfortabley
under the limbo bar of 96k itself, as that wee only found out laters!

(Final  noet:-  As  it turns out,  thee  finail  paccked  sieze slieds verry
komfortabley under 96k, moer like 36k!)

Al  thee  usual Dildo Fatwa traedmarx are there.  The sharpened humour,  the
mutilated  ziks  whic  sound leik a krippled dog beging for  mercy.  Not  to
mention the crumby ASCII art,  which has bene deskribbed by soemone as being
as  "Chepe as Chips!".  Wev'e gone for a cartoon stripping format this time,
of  one of our favouright anti-piracy ads of all time,  soemthing which  can
acurately  be  called  "Charcoal's  Early yeres!" This tels  a  tael  of  my
earlyest  tiems  as a market traeder,  and teh crap wee used to get off  the
ungraetful litel scum who called themselfs anti-piracy!

(Charcoal  Patois  mode  off!) There is something of  a  story  behind  this
production.  A tale which goes back several years, to the classic early days
of  home  computing.  Sometime in the mid-eighties,  the 'Federation Against
Software  Theft' (F.A.S.T.) decided to spring their first  systematic  anti-
piracy campaign in the computer press of that time.  Pretty soon,  the pages
of  'Your  Computer' and 'Popular Computing Weekly' were  rife  with  little
cartoon tales of software wrongdoers,  and the efforts of the fearless ELSPA
Youth (hem hem!) to bring them to justice.

The style and content,  very much in the style of a comic for slightly older
children  was  intended to impress its message onto  those  gormless  little
future  consumers,  who should have been buying up all the lame film licence
games in vast quantities, instead of copying 'warez'. (Interesting question,
did they call it "Warez" back in the olden days?)

Of  course,  F.A.S.T.  managed  to  tick  all  the  boxes  marked  "Cheesy",
"Patronising",  "Unbelievable",  "Nauseating",  and  "Sudden  urge  to  piss
through the letterbox of F.A.S.T headquarters" in their presentation of this
campaign!

A large financial reward figured prominently at the end of all the  adverts.
One  of  these  even suggested that it was quite a neat idea  to  shop  your
teacher to the police in revenge for his boring lessons to get this money! I
think they did that in Stalin's Russia as well, but you only got a medal for
it?

But  the one which lodged hardest in my brain,  to the point where a perfect
word-for-word recreation is made possible,  is the 'market trader' ad...  To
appreciate  the full horror of it,  you will have to run the demo of course.
It  is  interesting  to note that most of the demo  faithfully  follows  the
advert. The fun part is seeing where I've deviated from the script! Also the
endpart reflects a more realistic outcome from that of the original!

For  nervous viewers,  who might recall a certain "key moment" from our last
demo,  the  notorious  'Braekpoint '04 Invitro',  they do not need to worry.
There is no "brown moneyshot" in this one! In fact, it is perfectly safe for
children of all ages!


.--.--.
 | = |
 |_'_|ardware

Atari MC68k family of course!

Optimal configuration,  Atari Falcon '030 at 16mhz,  4MB upward, VGA or RGB,
no special features like FPU needed..

Should also run on Atari STe... It's a little bit sluggish compared with the
Falcy,  but  good enough for people to get the joke!  It shouldn't be memory
hungry, so 1MB machines are ok.

Any good emulation like STEEM.. I might suggest 16mhz is a good idea though?

Falcon Accelerator? Yep, seems to get on fine with both CT2 and CT60 without
any problems...

If you want a clean exit back  to GEM,  don't forget to run in ST medium  or
low res. Gaah! got to get that fixed soon!


 .--.
 | _
 '__]reets

Big hello's go to the following..

Mr Punk,  Sparehen 3,  NSG,  Demmo,  Nero,  Straightengem, and all other Res
Bogs..  Will  Mr  Punk  get  an evening off from EA Games in  2004  or  not?
"Challenge  everything" my arse!  - Er what about the stupid hours you  make
people work? "Err not that one perhaps!"

Dead  Smackers  of course!  Cool compo idea guys!  I hope we're not the only
ones in the 96k demo, and I hope the quality of the other entries is so good
that  we  don't stand a chance of winning!  Strange thing to wish for?  Well
wild compo's are all very well, but to consider this the same as a real demo
would be too daft?!?

Amstrad Survivor,  Meuhndog,  Heinz Beanz CXT,  a trio of current and former
diskmag people..

the Serious Cybernetics corp.  RELEASE 'Beams' NOW! Free the Dusseldorf one!
(Or wherever it is that Ray comes from!)

YM  Waterers,  I don't think Pongo Snodgrass will be invited to do a zik for
these elite soundchip samurai hero's somehow!

Deezil and Devolution, We want more CT60 stuffs!

Earxwax, your sound to light machine for CT60 roxx! We made one of our own a
while back,  without a computer. I blew a loud trombone next to a lightbulb,
and it flickered a lot in time with the music!  Eventually it blew up though
:-(

Havuck, I hope we're having another Outline party next Easter :-)

Seetock  and  the Finnish scene.  See you at Altered party 6.  I don't think
we're entering for this one though! Just happy to sit back and let others do
the work... Then there is Marykloud! Phwooaar!!

Gravy and the Polski scene, good luck with Siliventure '04!

Oldskoolers,  Leonard (Tramiel?) and Goonstick of Ulm.  No more 16x16 sprite
records pleaaase!! (But you are more than welcome to make new demo stuffs!)

And the rest of you that I can't remember at the moment.  I hope you "enjoy"
this production..


   Didlo Fatwae in Novembre 2004..
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